Why women lose the dating game

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I don't want a millionaire, I just want a decent, responsible, and reasonably good looking man who will treat me with respect.

eh - a lot of guys are divorced or widowed by that age, though it's true that sometimes people divorce for the reasons you mention. As for the dominance thing...it's never been a thing for me, and I find it really annoying, but I can think of only two guys I've been involved with who didn't fall prey to it and make a hash of things by insisting on being the hero/breadwinner/champ. Which always seemed to necessitate my turning into someone else who was much needier than I actually am, with less going on. The last guy, granted, very AS, but he really got upset when I wouldn't go along with his fantasy of being 1950s breadwinner dad, wouldn't quit my job and move my daughter to where he was. That's the other thing, too, it's a fantasy and these guys knew it was a fantasy, but I was supposed to go with it in order to keep the ego inflated to safe levels. And I, just, like...no. This apparently makes me "hard to be with." I can think of plenty of legit reasons why I'm hard to be with, but that's not one of them.

The thing is, this piece has the same tone as all those dating-advice sites that essentially try to bully women into being someone else so they don't face the awful fate of spinsterhood. Obviously it doesn't make any sense to 'hold out' for some fantasy husband with...I don't know, whatever you think a fantasy husband should have...but presumably by the age of 40 you're past this sort of thing anyway. The extra-silly bit's that it doesn't admit the existence of any other kind of arrangement. I mean by the time people are middle-aged, they know how they like to live, and most of them have their own homes. It's not exciting anymore to set up house with someone else if it means you're leaving a place you're put a lot into and is, really, your home. Which is why people wind up gf/bf forever, living semi-separately, working out something that suits them, maybe moving in eventually when if/when it makes sense. The notion of marriage itself loses importance -- after all you're already together, likely you've been married before, you don't need a blender, there's no pressing reason legally to do it. And again, by that age it's not so exhilarating an idea. At this point if a fellow asked me seriously to marry him, the first thing I'd think was "oh god, I should run this past my lawyer."

If you're 36-40ish, and a woman, and you want to be a mum, I'd say the worst thing you can do is go out and ferociously husband-hunt. Just carry on, have a baby on your own if you can afford to and your family's strong, and otherwise understand that likely you'll adopt. And you've got a long time, so there's no panic. I mean for all you know you're already past it physically, and there's no need to go out acting like a crazy person. Not like there's some dearth of babies in the world.

tell that to the judge.

idk I am hoping the whole " instinct to survive" will die out and then I can end it. at least that is my plan . its some small prize to know my future though. i mean its sad, but so many other people have know ideal what their future holds. I do.

I lack confidence in dating. and a tad bit in some work fields. I know I am one hell of a cashier. I know I can field strip firearms and put them back together. these aren't considered super hard tasks by those ambitious people though.

not sure what you mean. how does my persistence cause people to be on my side?
I acutally don't have many friends. I have 4 sort of friends, but we never hang out. really just talk over the net. my can't give up personality would probably be better suited for combat or trapped somewhere situation. though I am also a complainer(it helps to get it out)

automotive technology. basically mechanic. but give them ase cert and now you call them a auto technician. or if they have all 8 they are master technician(higher pay) so I really I have a trade degree, but not from a trade school but general. so job related to it are mechanic, and parts store/service writer (neither require a degree)

probably going to end up in a job unrelated to the degree. which wouldn't be a problem if I didn't owe 11k for going to school just to end up in a job I could have started 8 years ago and maybe been moved up the ladder, if there is one.

what do you consider reasonable good looking?

so what if you found a decent, responsible, man who treats you with respect, but hes unemployed?

it does seem that men are more likely to accept a unemployed woman then women will accept a unemployeed man.

just finished reading a thread on another forum where some lady was wanting to leaver her bf of 7 years cause he been working full time as a retail for 3 years without quiting the job he has in hopes of finding another job and maybe leaving that one and so forth to find a job that has promotion in its future.

the general idea being that even if a guy made 10 an hour and was happy and it paid for all his needs and allowed money to be saved up. it woulnd't be good enough. apparently min wage is never good enough. not sure where $10 is min wage. federal is what $6 and some change. here its $9.10. I live off $5 an hour via ssi.

so what I either have to GF jump every few years o job jumpt to make a woman happy. all hypertheoric. I can't get a girl to begin with making min wage. even if they are making min wage.

really its just sicking. while they don't say it , they probably think I am a waste of space better off dead. well some will say it. most stick to how society says not to say such things. others probably see the people like me should be cared for but wouldn't date us.

i think if I was able to win the lottery I could probably get a girl. to them I would apear to have a great paying job, cars, a house, and I would still have my caring and funny personality. plus I could afford plastic surgey for my face and have my own gym to work out in. though such thing is very unlikely so 35 and death it is. mean in the past 35 could be considered a normal life span.

Only skimmed the article. The real reason we lose the dating game is that the men cheat by marking the backs of the cards and stealing all the useful pieces when our backs are turned.

Also, wanting children is not the only reason to want a partner.

To be fair, there's no way yet to tell if Neanderthals were really less intelligent. In fact, there are strong evidences that they were not less intelligent than us.

As about the brain and large muscle mass thing, well Gorillas have larger muscle mass yet their brain are smaller than humans'; so it's not always that.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 19 Aug 2014, 9:03 am, edited 1 time in total.

Yes!!

who gives a s**t about the dating struggles of upper-middle class women.

Rabbits.

You know, rabbits have Alice fetish...

Yes, their is a lot of re-evaluation going on with Neanderthals lately. The main problem being that data is scarce and so speculation must be greater.

And true there are not many hard and fast rules on brain size. Its not just quantity but also what the structure and complexity or 'quality' is.

But I am intrigued by this concept, that if you allow that muscle mass does require some management by the brain then what happens when Joe or Jane Average suddenly decides to become a muscle bound bodybuilder?

Where does the brain get the assets to manage all this new muscle ? Is there 'free space' available to use, or must resources be taken from other areas ? Has anyone done a before and after IQ type test of Mr & Mrs Universes ?



But as far as the actual topic goes Idk. Maybe up the dowry a few cows and goats?

Neanderthals were men who were, through natural selection, strongly adapted to cold climates.

When the climate became warmer, their specialization put them at a disadvantage.

it is speculated that they were the first men to adopt "religion." They were almost certainly one of the first men to be able to make fire, rather than just use it. It is also speculated by some that they created a flute found in a cave (some believe the "holes" where made by cave bears, though).

I believe they also began creating trade routes, and created quarries, for toolmaking materials like obsidian and flint.

In essence, it is quite possible that Neanderthals were more "different," in a horizontal sense, rather than "less intelligent" (i.e., in a vertical sense) than anatomically "modern" men.

There are some who even put Neanderthals in the same species as anatomically "modern" men--but in a different subspecies.

Women's brains are smaller but more efficient; using less brain cells to achieve the same task, it's due to more connections between them if I recall right. IQ averages are the same but the IQ bell curve is flatter for men, meaning more gifted males than females but also more mentally challenged; and all IQ studies show persisting results on the disparity in sub-scores between the genders: Spatial vs verbal...etc.

Yeah, besides mass there are structural and functional differences. It got me wondering if some of todays tendencies harken back to the habitual roles of eons ago. Like where men were hunters and women primarily gatherers. Is this expressed in the tendency for men to like guns and cars (lethality, movement, range) and women shopping? Or more to the point, do these activities somehow provide positive stimulation to differently developed parts of the brain? Are genetic researchers kicking around the idea of designing a one-size-fits-all-genders Unibrain? Can you pre-order? I suppose we are headed in that direction anyway, but natural Evo takes lots of time.

There are times I would absolutely swear that going to the gym a lot makes people dumber! Maybe that's why there are more mentally challenged men than women.