NT here (sorta :p) who met Aspie BF on POF. My two cents, there is no way she could have you banned for anything done or said off the POF site proper. Any messages or pics sent to a personal number would be disregarded, let alone something you allegedly said. Unless you sent her a nude pic on the site or where sexually inappropriate/verbally abusive then she could not report you for misconduct.
Sounds like your lack of access using that email is some kind of technical error. I would contact POF administrators and have it fixed 