Can an AS man connect emotionally with a woman he likes?

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I don't think she will either. Just making a point.

Where I live (Ottawa). There are lots of classes and nights for Latin dancing. My personal favorite so far is bachata.

I finally sent a message to my AS friend last week, after I avoided him in a dancing event he attended with two women (including a woman I already saw him with in another dancing event). I apologized for not saying hello to him and not dancing with him that nite because I was afraid of experiencing a similar negative experience I had in the past (a man who I opened up to and who was interested in me showed up in a party with a woman he was going out with- I didn?t write that in my letter). I explained that I can?t trust men I don?t know well, whether they are new friends or prospective boyfriends. I added that I was all the more confused and uncomfortable around him since I previoulsy told him I was interested in him. I asked him « Do you want to get to know me? » « If so, can we met sometimes outside the dancefloor? » I also explained that I needed to take time to let people approach me, especially men, and I am a slow mover. I don?t follow the regular dating rules and don?t play mind games either, because I can?s tand them. I also told him that I stay away from superficial people too. Finally, I told him I would respect any of his decisions and I would always be happy to dance with him in the future.

Why did I do this? I couldn?t stand the confusion any more, it killed me. Anytime he would see me now, he would smile, make every effort to dance with me and say « Time always flies too fast when we dance together » ? but I would never hear from him outside the milongas.

I had to write this letter so that I can feel better with myself and him. He hasn?t replied yet. I may not see him again or hear about him for a while, which is okay with me. It will give me time to get over this painful experience. I learned another valuable lesson.

@ Aspiemike : I like latin dancing; I prefer salsa because I can be creative and dance without a partner. I took different latin dancing classes in the past and never had a partner ... till today. I gave up on finding a dancing partner.

As I am a happy kid at heart, I take the best of any experience and I move on ? and keep on dancing

Thank you all for your insights.

Not all people with AS are like that. I think you're getting AS mixed up with men with alexithymic personalities.

Thank you Marshall for your input. I've just learned another interesting word today, thanks to you. I agree that not all people with AS are like that, because I know that not every AS or even NT is the same. Everybody is different, and a particular medical condition accounts only for a small part of someone's personality.

I don't know this man enough to say anything else than "I tried to understand him and get him to tell me who he is". He doesn't want me to know him, and I accept that. He may also not be an Aspie at all despite the many strong AS traits he shows. I've learned many interesting things through this forum and my mind opened up a bit more too. So it was worth it!

PS: I've just read that there's an overlap between Alexithymia and Asperger's syndrom.