Why is "Ghosting" Socially Acceptable?

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The reason WHY a girl abruptly cuts off contact / ghosts you is ultimately irrelevant - if she doesn't wanna talk to you, LET IT GO.

You can't make her talk to you. You can sulk about her ghosting you, rant that she's ghosted you, rave rhat her ghosting you is a deliberate act of cruelty as much as you like... which will make you miserable and, WILL NOT COMPEL HER TO TALK TO YOU.

You are NOT entitled to an explanation. You WANT an explanation.

Armed + DELUSIONALLY over-entitled = Elliott Rodger.

A truism is that folks do stuff they WANT to do. A girl not calling to give you an "explanation"? Is nevertheless communicating with you. The message is GO AWAY!

If the girl is in the hospital? She will call you when she gets out IF and ONLY IF she wants to talk to you!

I have not changed the topic. We're talking about cases like the following: you go on a date or two, then suddenly you don't hear from her. She doesn't answer texts, calls, whatever. You never receive a clear rejection. My anecdote was not an example of this, but it wasn't intended to be: I presented it to dispute your claim that "to say it's about sparing pain is self-serving false rationalization." We often do consider the rejected person's feelings, and I think this can be shown even in the sorts of examples we've been discussing. My argument for that goes as follows:
The given anecdote doesn't support your argument because it's a completely different scenario.

1) When we reject someone, we ought to minimize emotional pain.
2) Some rejections cause more pain than others. For example, "you're an awkward loser" causes more pain than "I don't think we suit each other."
3) Just as "I don't think we suit each other" causes less pain than "you're an awkward loser," no-contact seems to cause less pain than "I don't think we suit each other."
4) Therefore, to minimize pain, we ought to go no-contact.

Now, you will contend with 2) and argue that no-contact doesn't actually hurt less. I mostly agree with that statement, and have said elsewhere that I doubt 2) routinely obtains in the real world, which is to say that I don't think it ends up being the case that no-contact hurts less than "I don't think we suit each other" or a similar rejection (especially for someone with Asperger's/autism). Indeed, for many of us, it hurts more. But despite this, I still think it's fair for a person to think along these lines. The argument makes sense and considers the rejected party's feelings; I also imagine that 2) applies to some people, whether they know it or not.

Finally: for all I've said above, I do not actually think most people go no-contact to minimize pain. I think the real reasons consist in a fear of the man's reaction (as others have described), an avoidance of mutual awkwardness (because rejections are awkward for both parties), and the fact that many people regard no-contact as an acceptable form of rejection.

Sorry, but this is incorrect. I am entitled to closure, even just a simple text saying not interested is fine. I wouldn't consider 5-6 dates a few times, by then you show interest by that many dates. Generally by that many dates, you have had sex, so that to me is the unwritten exclusive thing. Once I have sex with a girl, it is implied that we are exclusive from that point on unless one of us breaks it off, and notifies the other. Don't leave someone hanging, is all anyone asks. I don't think that is so difficult.

I hate the term creepy, it is a bs feminist liberal cop out.

rainydaykid wrote:
I hate the term creepy, it is a bs feminist liberal cop out.

You been put in the creep zone?

I'm really good looking, intelligent, and funny

Not in my world. I would never trust a girl that didn't behave exclusively from the start, and that did this out of her own free will, without any negotiation. Because there would be nothing that stops such unreliable girl from just ending a relationship when she found somebody else or for whatever strange reason she might come up with. After all, girls are entitled to break up at any point, even when they have agreed to be exclusive, and even when they have been married for a while, so agreeing to be exclusive means nothing. The ultimate test is if they use this in an irresponsible manner or not. Thus, I would never trust a girl that behaves in the way you describe (break up without giving a good reason after 5-6 dates) or feels she is entitled to behave like that. Such girls are simply not relationship material, and should be blacklisted at dating sites.

That depends on how long you've known the person before you start dating.
If you go on a first date with someone who you've known a week, it's unreasonable for either of you to expect exclusivity at that stage; you simply don't know each other well enough to know if the other person is worth forsaking all others for.

it needs LOVE. so it can at least live up to the name of its subforum.

I agree with 2 but strongly disagree with second statement of 3. Suddenly going no contact with someone you've had several dates with and communicated with for a couple months or more is rude no matter how you split it.

It avoids temporary awkwardness but actually causes worse feelings because there's an element of disrespect in completely avoiding someone. Also, this isn't a man vs. woman issue. Women don't like it when men reject them this way. I've heard it plenty from both men and women.

Sorry if this is a stupid question, but can you clarify how someone might go about doing that?

For those who don't know what "ghosting" is, it's basically the act of rejecting someone by completely cutting off all contact with them, and acting like they don't exist. My main question is: why is this practice considered socially acceptable nowadays?

Does anyone have any thoughts?

You sound like such a supreme gentleman; why aren't women falling all over you? What's wrong with them?

Agreed, there's way too much anger in this thread right now!