He keeps contacting me

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A year ago, my ex-fiance and I called it quits after 6 years. It all started when I postponed our wedding date when he still had issues with my son from my first marriage (he has AS). He had never been around children before and I gave him credit for that and I made accommodations for him when he became frustrated with my son. My son knew that it was expected of him to respect my fiance and I respected my fiance's input when it came to disciplinary actions - in other words, I wholeheartedly accepted that he would be a part of our family and have a say as a family member when it came to children. I have seen my brother be in a marriage where he could never defend himself in his household with his stepchildren and I would never want that to be the case for whoever shared our household. It's all about respect for everyone involved. It seemed to be ok many times, but it seemed like it got to the point where my son would try so hard to get my ex to like him or approve and to hear my ex yell at the top of his lungs at him for doing something like set the dishes in the wrong spot on the counter after dinner... it became too much. I tried to resolve this through counseling and he agreed to go only to tell the counselor that the only reason he was there was to "fix" my son and I so that his life could be easier. The counselor put him on the spot and asked him " So you don't think you need to improve anything on your part?". He answered with a "no". A little time went on and it became to the point where my son was nervous to walk anywhere in the house where my ex was. It was as if my ex was just watching my son waiting for him to do something wrong and he would yell. No one wants to live that way. My ex was miserable and more so, I didn't want to raise my son in that type of environment. I think my ex never forgave me that I felt that we needed to postpone the wedding. I still feel that it was the right thing to do because if there is any doubt, then it needs addressed before marriage. I went through a difficult first marriage because we were young (21 years) and my son was born a year later. I really try hard to look at both sides and I know that my ex-fiance and I both had faults as my first marriage there were faults on both sides.
When we went our separate ways last year, it was hard at first and there were tears, but in all, it was the biggest relief. My son became happier and I am certainly happier. Yes, I'm single and I have met a person who is very nice. I am taking my time in getting to know him. My son is very supportive and eager for me to be happy and tells me he wishes that I would find a nice man (I love that kid ). I am also preoccupied in advancing my education at the same time with certifications and work-related committees. In other words, I have gone on with my life. I only contacted him early on after we separated and asked him if we could see the pet we shared because my son missed seeing it and asked. He treated us cordially, yet distanced himself. I just told myself that it was obvious that it was hard to be friends especially when he was very short and treated us coldly. I decided I wouldn't contact him anymore (I would get my son his own pet). I hadn't contacted him at all in the past 6 months. He is odd. He will contact me at random times (3 times so far) and ask me weird things like if I sent him an email (can he not tell who the email was from by looking at the sender's address?). I tell him a short and simple no and don't indulge him in anymore conversation. He has asked that question twice, and then the other day he asked me if I called him using a different cell number (a short and simple no was my response...again). He has honestly treated us bad when I tried to do my part to be friends, yet here he is contacting me. I do not treat him mean, I just simply answer his question and go about my business. I have no feelings for him and I know that I would never want to be in a relationship with him ever again. I am not ever about disrespecting other people and I wish him the best. But I do not want to deal with this. No I would never send an email to him. No I would never contact him with a different cell phone. It's like he contacts me only to accuse me of doing something silly. No I have a life and I am happily living it without him and his drama. What could be his deal? What do you think would be the nicest way to tell him to please leave us alone if he cannot be nice? I hate to be mean or rude, but considering all that he has said and done, it can be a challenge. Thanks for reading.

Have you asked him why he thinks you are sending him e-mails/calling him? If he does it again, I would just bluntly ask why he thinks you're trying to contact him, say that you haven't, and that you don't plan to in the near future. It sounds like it may just be some sort of misunderstanding, since it's kind of weird to just ask if you tried to call/e-mail him. From an outside perspective, it doesn't sound like he has any ill intentions in mind.

I didn't really ask him why. I just felt a simple no would be in order because in the past he just says something rude and I just ignore him after. I want to also note that I was saying it was my son who has high functioning AS not my ex (not sure about him, not likely). I am highly likely high functioning AS in many small ways as well.
i want to chalk it up to a misunderstanding, but it's kind of annoying when he has contacted me 3 times. I did send a message that I have not ever left any message where I haven't identified myself and I don't plan to as you recommend. I also told him that he knows my email address and if it wasn't that address then it wasn't me. I wished him well and told him that I'm a very busy person and do not like to play games like that and he can be assured that I will not ever do that. He just answered back and said he thinks I am trying to keep in contact... No I assure you I am not. He is very delusional. I'm never going to respond to his messages again. Thanks for your insight I appreciate it

He might regret that he treated you bad.

But...still, it's over. And he must know that it's over.

He's trying to make an excuse to contact you, obviously.

Just continue to make it crystal clear that it's "over."

I honestly didn't look at it from this angle. I was ready to blame him for being mean. Yes, I can see where that could be a high possibility. I would feel better knowing he was regretful of his mistreatment, but I've already let it go and have moved on chalking it up to incompatibility. I truly wish him the best and I hope he finds a good person he can treat well and vice versa. If he is simply trying to just contact me and using that as an excuse, then yes, next time he contacts me I will kindly but assertively let him know there is no going back.

Yeah…there's nothing left to say here. No more conversation. No more discussion. No more explanation. If his contacting you is a problem, it's fade time.

Contacted me again, yes... it's fade time... fading... fading... gone... thanks for the insight

NP. There's been controversy here in this forum over "fading" or, as some call it, "ghosting." You're not doing a true, "classic" fade because you've already communicated you're not interested in speaking with him. That means you're a decent person who lets others know the score. At this point, your best option is to ignore him out of existence. And if he comes by your place banging on the door demanding to know why you stopped talking to him, you call the cops and tell them there's some creepy dude outside your door who won't go away and you're scared.

Yeah he isn't letting this go for some reason. Who knows why, who cares. Just keep working the end-game and don't re-engage for anything.

There probably weren't any emails or phone calls whatsoever.

^^^This, +1, and QFT.