Consent or Rape?

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I just got back from a visit with my brother. He was bragging about his sexual exploits when I asked him whether going up to a girl and asking her if she wants to have sex is an appropriate thing to say. He told me that he usually just invites the girl back to his place and starts kissing and has sex as long as she doesn't protest. Is this correct behavior or is that borderline rape? Also, what's wrong with asking the girl directly?

I never "ask" a woman if she wants to make love. I just let her draw me into her.

A woman's body has a way of conveying want. If she is not lubricated naturally, she's not ready for me. If her nether regions begin to grip me, then I KNOW she desires it.

kraftiekortie - HELL NO. No. That is not always the case. And

http://www.slate.com/articles/health_an ... ading.html

"pushing" your luck with a woman, instead of just asking if she wants to go further? Why? What's the appeal of possibly sexually assaulting a woman such a gross manner??

My question was legit. Why on earth would a guy wanna push his luck in a manner that is likely to be a sexual assault?

Surely, it's more pleasant to have sex with a girl who is INTO having sex w/you??

Don't dish it out if ya can't take it back, princess.

My question was legit. Why on earth would a guy wanna push his luck in a manner that is likely to be a sexual assault?

Surely, it's more pleasant to have sex with a girl who is INTO having sex w/you??

Actually orgasms relieve period cramps for many women and it can also help with PMS symptoms like headaches.

Also on a side note in regards to the other posts, it is not weird to ask if your partner is ready to have sex. I should know, I have been having sex for over 22 years.

Because women like it.
Go read some romance novels or listen to the callers of Dr. Laura who are unhappy because their man wont drag them off like an as$hole and rape them.

They may be "into you" but they're never going to admit it until way too late.
I call it rape and it kinda pisses me off that so many women* want it from me like that but wont say so until months after the fact or until they're fall down drunk. I don't wanna rape.
Call me weird, but I don't like to damage what I like.

*This is NOT unusual, this is very very common, so don't you dare call these women damaged, psycho, or broken unless you're willing to call ALL women damaged, psycho or broken.

In the heat of the moment, it can be hard to want to tap the breaks, especially when you’re hearing “we should probably stop” rather than “let’s stop”. In fact, there was a point where to me, “We should probably stop” sounded an awful lot like “convince me I don’t want to stop”. And to be fair: sometimes that’s exactly what she was saying. However, there were more times when that “probably” meant “I want to stop but I don’t want to upset you by being direct”; women are often socialized to be indirect and less assertive than men and will at times frame a refusal or a request to stop or slow down as something other than a direct “no”… and you need to be willing to listen.

If you reach a point that she objects to, up to and including being inside her, then you stop and take a step back to something she was ok with… and you are completely cool with this. I cannot emphasize this enough: you are always absolutely fine with pulling back or coming to a full halt. You can try again a little later. She will let you know through her words and actions when a little persistance is ok and when it isn’t… so assume that it isn’t unless otherwise stated.

If she wants to stop, you are absolutely ok with it. You don’t argue, whine, wheedle or ask why. Nobody has ever argued or debated their way into a woman’s pants, and trying to do so just makes you look pathetic. The only acceptable response is “I understand,” and you immediately move on to something non-sexual. Turn up the lights, pull up your pants and do something else… without removing intimacy. You aren’t trying to shame or pressure her into sex by freezing her out, you’re trying to make her more comfortable. Pulling away – refusing to talk to her or otherwise shunning her is a supreme dick move; it’s coercive, it’s manipulative and it’s an attempt to play upon her the social contract and her insecurities in order to get what you want. It should be completely clear that you aren’t frustrated; you want to keep spending time with her, you want to have sex with her, but more importantly, you want her to be comfortable with you. So you’re dialing things back so that she’s more comfortable. When she’s ready, either she will re-establish the mood, or she’ll indicate that she wants you to start again. When she does, then progress slowly to where she wanted you to stop before. If she wants you to stop again, you stop again.

Yes, it can be difficult, especially when it feels like the finish line1 is within reach. Yeah, blue-balls can hurt. If you’re so horny that you can’t think straight, slip off to the bathroom and rub one out so you can calm the hell down.

There is no reason to feel frustrated; if things have gotten to this point, then she will sleep with you eventually. You can only hurt yourself when you’re in a hurry.

Take The Lead

I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating: leadership is sexy. You are going to be expected to be in charge – to the limits that she allows – so you need to be willing to take responsibility. When making out on the couch has reached the point that it’s time to take things to your bed, you don’t ask or verbalize; take her by the hand and lead her to your room. Once there, make yourself clear: you want to have sex… but only if you get an explicit and enthusiastic “yes” from her. If she’s less than enthusiastic, if she’s saying “…I guess” or is half-heartedly agreeing, then you’re not having sex.

They want you to be able to tell when they want sex from their body language. Since we're people who don't read body language well, it's better for us to only communicate that verbally.

After the first O, you can talk a woman into anything.
For a while...
Even into believing she doesn't want you to rape her.

That's a good advice:




http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2011/09/g ... bed/all/1/

That last line is an ideal advice - however some women here and MANY on other forums expressed that it's not normal for a guy to verbally ask- weird.