Consent or Rape?
Mmm this is a gray area for if it is or not If she consented, then no.
_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
A woman's body has a way of conveying want. If she is not lubricated naturally, she's not ready for me. If her nether regions begin to grip me, then I KNOW she desires it.
kraftiekortie - HELL NO. No. That is not always the case. And
http://www.slate.com/articles/health_an ... ading.html
"pushing" your luck with a woman, instead of just asking if she wants to go further? Why? What's the appeal of possibly sexually assaulting a woman such a gross manner??
A woman's body has a way of conveying want. If she is not lubricated naturally, she's not ready for me. If her nether regions begin to grip me, then I KNOW she desires it.
kraftiekortie - HELL NO. No. That is not always the case. And
http://www.slate.com/articles/health_an ... ading.html
"pushing" your luck with a woman, instead of just asking if she wants to go further? Why? What's the appeal of possibly sexually assaulting a woman such a gross manner??
A woman's body has a way of conveying want. If she is not lubricated naturally, she's not ready for me. If her nether regions begin to grip me, then I KNOW she desires it.
kraftiekortie - HELL NO. No. That is not always the case. And
http://www.slate.com/articles/health_an ... ading.html
"pushing" your luck with a woman, instead of just asking if she wants to go further? Why? What's the appeal of possibly sexually assaulting a woman such a gross manner??
She has a point, actually.
A woman's body has a way of conveying want. If she is not lubricated naturally, she's not ready for me. If her nether regions begin to grip me, then I KNOW she desires it.
kraftiekortie - HELL NO. No. That is not always the case. And
http://www.slate.com/articles/health_an ... ading.html
"pushing" your luck with a woman, instead of just asking if she wants to go further? Why? What's the appeal of possibly sexually assaulting a woman such a gross manner??
My question was legit. Why on earth would a guy wanna push his luck in a manner that is likely to be a sexual assault?
Surely, it's more pleasant to have sex with a girl who is INTO having sex w/you??
A woman's body has a way of conveying want. If she is not lubricated naturally, she's not ready for me. If her nether regions begin to grip me, then I KNOW she desires it.
kraftiekortie - HELL NO. No. That is not always the case. And
http://www.slate.com/articles/health_an ... ading.html
"pushing" your luck with a woman, instead of just asking if she wants to go further? Why? What's the appeal of possibly sexually assaulting a woman such a gross manner??
My question was legit. Why on earth would a guy wanna push his luck in a manner that is likely to be a sexual assault?
Surely, it's more pleasant to have sex with a girl who is INTO having sex w/you??
Don't dish it out if ya can't take it back, princess.
A woman's body has a way of conveying want. If she is not lubricated naturally, she's not ready for me. If her nether regions begin to grip me, then I KNOW she desires it.
kraftiekortie - HELL NO. No. That is not always the case. And
http://www.slate.com/articles/health_an ... ading.html
"pushing" your luck with a woman, instead of just asking if she wants to go further? Why? What's the appeal of possibly sexually assaulting a woman such a gross manner??
My question was legit. Why on earth would a guy wanna push his luck in a manner that is likely to be a sexual assault?
Surely, it's more pleasant to have sex with a girl who is INTO having sex w/you??
Don't dish it out if ya can't take it back, princess.
You didn't answer my question, slimeball.
Ranting and raving about your inability to find a halfway decent job & all those mean, mean women dating gainfully employed mem must take up a LOT of your time.
They got banned? Seriously? excuse me while I celebrate!
Oh yeah as for the topic, I don't think its rape as long as the partner isn't totally intoxicated, alcohol does act as an uninhibitor. People who are buzzed and not totally drunk have consciousness of being able to say no. Although this move is kind of the douchebag move but it seems to work I guess.
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Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? https://kissanime.to/AnimeList
A woman's body has a way of conveying want. If she is not lubricated naturally, she's not ready for me. If her nether regions begin to grip me, then I KNOW she desires it.
kraftiekortie - HELL NO. No. That is not always the case. And
http://www.slate.com/articles/health_an ... ading.html
"pushing" your luck with a woman, instead of just asking if she wants to go further? Why? What's the appeal of possibly sexually assaulting a woman such a gross manner??
My question was legit. Why on earth would a guy wanna push his luck in a manner that is likely to be a sexual assault?
Surely, it's more pleasant to have sex with a girl who is INTO having sex w/you??
Because women like it.
Go read some romance novels or listen to the callers of Dr. Laura who are unhappy because their man wont drag them off like an as$hole and rape them.
They may be "into you" but they're never going to admit it until way too late.
I call it rape and it kinda pisses me off that so many women* want it from me like that but wont say so until months after the fact or until they're fall down drunk. I don't wanna rape.
Call me weird, but I don't like to damage what I like.
*This is NOT unusual, this is very very common, so don't you dare call these women damaged, psycho, or broken unless you're willing to call ALL women damaged, psycho or broken.
_________________
(14.01.b) cogito ergo sum confusus
Erm.. If unsure, you should ask. At certain times of the month you might get a 'no' for good reasons, but that leaves three consecutive weeks (plus change) of positive answers (if you play your proverbial cards right) even if you aren't promiscuous.
Oh honestly, unless you're trying to screw a teenager or a religious cult member, we also know how to say "I'm on my period." (A remarkable number of people don't care, just fetch towels.) So long as you don't react with "EWWWW" all should be well. (Flashing back to a guy who described the woman who relieved him of his virginity as "bleeding like a stuck pig." <- how not to phrase it)
I certainly would not want to have sex in that state, not only is the bloody stuff a bit gross but CRAMPS! somehow I don't think having sex would help that, if anything i feel like it would make it worse.
Actually orgasms relieve period cramps for many women and it can also help with PMS symptoms like headaches.
Also on a side note in regards to the other posts, it is not weird to ask if your partner is ready to have sex. I should know, I have been having sex for over 22 years.
Maybe you're having weird sex?
heh just kidding -couldn't resist... =)
I'm not so sure this thread is about how to handle previously established boundries/protocol of a long-term sexual partnership, but may be instead about trying to work things out with someone for the first time.
_________________
(14.01.b) cogito ergo sum confusus
Go read some romance novels or listen to the callers of Dr. Laura who are unhappy because their man wont drag them off like an as$hole and rape them.
They may be "into you" but they're never going to admit it until way too late.
I call it rape and it kinda pisses me off that so many women* want it from me like that but wont say so until months after the fact or until they're fall down drunk. I don't wanna rape.
Call me weird, but I don't like to damage what I like.
*This is NOT unusual, this is very very common, so don't you dare call these women damaged, psycho, or broken unless you're willing to call ALL women damaged, psycho or broken.
They want you to be able to tell when they want sex from their body language. Since we're people who don't read body language well, it's better for us to only communicate that verbally.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,032
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
That's a good advice:
If you reach a point that she objects to, up to and including being inside her, then you stop and take a step back to something she was ok with… and you are completely cool with this. I cannot emphasize this enough: you are always absolutely fine with pulling back or coming to a full halt. You can try again a little later. She will let you know through her words and actions when a little persistance is ok and when it isn’t… so assume that it isn’t unless otherwise stated.
If she wants to stop, you are absolutely ok with it. You don’t argue, whine, wheedle or ask why. Nobody has ever argued or debated their way into a woman’s pants, and trying to do so just makes you look pathetic. The only acceptable response is “I understand,” and you immediately move on to something non-sexual. Turn up the lights, pull up your pants and do something else… without removing intimacy. You aren’t trying to shame or pressure her into sex by freezing her out, you’re trying to make her more comfortable. Pulling away – refusing to talk to her or otherwise shunning her is a supreme dick move; it’s coercive, it’s manipulative and it’s an attempt to play upon her the social contract and her insecurities in order to get what you want. It should be completely clear that you aren’t frustrated; you want to keep spending time with her, you want to have sex with her, but more importantly, you want her to be comfortable with you. So you’re dialing things back so that she’s more comfortable. When she’s ready, either she will re-establish the mood, or she’ll indicate that she wants you to start again. When she does, then progress slowly to where she wanted you to stop before. If she wants you to stop again, you stop again.
Yes, it can be difficult, especially when it feels like the finish line1 is within reach. Yeah, blue-balls can hurt. If you’re so horny that you can’t think straight, slip off to the bathroom and rub one out so you can calm the hell down.
There is no reason to feel frustrated; if things have gotten to this point, then she will sleep with you eventually. You can only hurt yourself when you’re in a hurry.
I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating: leadership is sexy. You are going to be expected to be in charge – to the limits that she allows – so you need to be willing to take responsibility. When making out on the couch has reached the point that it’s time to take things to your bed, you don’t ask or verbalize; take her by the hand and lead her to your room. Once there, make yourself clear: you want to have sex… but only if you get an explicit and enthusiastic “yes” from her. If she’s less than enthusiastic, if she’s saying “…I guess” or is half-heartedly agreeing, then you’re not having sex.
Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 19 Jan 2015, 5:27 am, edited 1 time in total.
Go read some romance novels or listen to the callers of Dr. Laura who are unhappy because their man wont drag them off like an as$hole and rape them.
They may be "into you" but they're never going to admit it until way too late.
I call it rape and it kinda pisses me off that so many women* want it from me like that but wont say so until months after the fact or until they're fall down drunk. I don't wanna rape.
Call me weird, but I don't like to damage what I like.
*This is NOT unusual, this is very very common, so don't you dare call these women damaged, psycho, or broken unless you're willing to call ALL women damaged, psycho or broken.
They want you to be able to tell when they want sex from their body language. Since we're people who don't read body language well, it's better for us to only communicate that verbally.
I wish this were true, what women really seem to want is for you to do what will turn out that they will be happy about.*
Meaning it's not even reading their minds because they usually don't know what they want, they just want it to end up wonderful.
If you can talk a woman into believing that it turned out wonderful then you can do ANYTHING to her that you wish.
Anything.
After the first O, you can talk a woman into anything.
For a while...
Even into believing she doesn't want you to rape her.
*in any regard, not just sex. You need to be able to predict the future and be as infallible as God.
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(14.01.b) cogito ergo sum confusus
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,032
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
^They know very well what they want, it's just they are less likely to be direct or confront directly for cultural/physical reasons.
For a while...
Even into believing she doesn't want you to rape her.
I don't get that --- what the...?
If you reach a point that she objects to, up to and including being inside her, then you stop and take a step back to something she was ok with… and you are completely cool with this. I cannot emphasize this enough: you are always absolutely fine with pulling back or coming to a full halt. You can try again a little later. She will let you know through her words and actions when a little persistance is ok and when it isn’t… so assume that it isn’t unless otherwise stated.
If she wants to stop, you are absolutely ok with it. You don’t argue, whine, wheedle or ask why. Nobody has ever argued or debated their way into a woman’s pants, and trying to do so just makes you look pathetic. The only acceptable response is “I understand,” and you immediately move on to something non-sexual. Turn up the lights, pull up your pants and do something else… without removing intimacy. You aren’t trying to shame or pressure her into sex by freezing her out, you’re trying to make her more comfortable. Pulling away – refusing to talk to her or otherwise shunning her is a supreme dick move; it’s coercive, it’s manipulative and it’s an attempt to play upon her the social contract and her insecurities in order to get what you want. It should be completely clear that you aren’t frustrated; you want to keep spending time with her, you want to have sex with her, but more importantly, you want her to be comfortable with you. So you’re dialing things back so that she’s more comfortable. When she’s ready, either she will re-establish the mood, or she’ll indicate that she wants you to start again. When she does, then progress slowly to where she wanted you to stop before. If she wants you to stop again, you stop again.
Yes, it can be difficult, especially when it feels like the finish line1 is within reach. Yeah, blue-balls can hurt. If you’re so horny that you can’t think straight, slip off to the bathroom and rub one out so you can calm the hell down.
There is no reason to feel frustrated; if things have gotten to this point, then she will sleep with you eventually. You can only hurt yourself when you’re in a hurry.
I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating: leadership is sexy. You are going to be expected to be in charge – to the limits that she allows – so you need to be willing to take responsibility. When making out on the couch has reached the point that it’s time to take things to your bed, you don’t ask or verbalize; take her by the hand and lead her to your room. Once there, make yourself clear: you want to have sex… but only if you get an explicit and enthusiastic “yes” from her. If she’s less than enthusiastic, if she’s saying “…I guess” or is half-heartedly agreeing, then you’re not having sex.
That last line is an ideal advice - however some women here and MANY on other forums expressed that it's not normal for a guy to verbally ask- weird.
It sounds good, but like with most anything on this topic, this is too simplified to be instructive.
I think an Aspie's main problem is not misreading signals - women are clear when they mean No - I think the problem is not knowing how to modify the situation to get the outcome we want BEFORE the woman makes up her mind.
Perhaps what we really need to ask is - what exactly do I want with this woman right now?
_________________
(14.01.b) cogito ergo sum confusus