Dating Difficulties

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I am having a lot of problems attempting to date. I either am too honest (and expect the same in return which does not happen) and this honesty seems 'weird' to others, or I think I'm being flirtatious and am actually being interpreted as rude while doing so. It angers me to have to change my personality to make connections (which I do every day, all day at work) but I see date after potential date ruined before anyone gets a chance to know me by my behavior. Acting/behaving as they do, seems so fake to me that I find it incredibly hypocritical to do, and greatly admire anyone I meet who has the guts to say how they feel, etc. Online dating is especially hard because in chatting with someone online the tone of one's remarks is missing and the content can sound rude instead of witty. I never understand just what I've done until it's too late and I have found in the past that if I try to explain myself by explaining that I have asp, the fact that I have asp dyers potential daters as well. I am told to get to know someone before delving into too personal subjects or expecting true honesty from potential dates but I always make the same 'mistakes' over and over'. I am discouraged to the point of despair. No one seems willing (or perhaps able) to put up with my behavior long enough to get to know me and accept me. The few friends I have are very loyal to me and accept me for who I am but now that I'm no longer married and seeking to date, potential dates will simply not take the time to understand. I don't blame them, they don't have an emotional investment in me, but it hurts and i don't know what to do. Over and over again this happens. The only solution I know is to pretend to act like them and as I said, this seems very wrong to me. What should I do?

I was once told I was too honest for my own good. I still don't know what he meant by that.

Forget dating. You're better off living alone! Save yourself the heartache and listen to one with knowledge and experience. Don't go there! It's not worth it. (Of course that's easier for an asexual to say Poor hormonal bastards! LOL

Suffer it! Sorry but you all deserve each other! Rooters!

Two suggestions:
1. Have you looked into dating Asian women? I had a 30 year old (never dated before) colleague that met a women from china online (I think it took about two weeks from the time he joined the online site to when she booked a flight for her first visit). The language barrier was huge (she did not speak English well) but misunderstandings were chalked up to "lost in translation" rather than insensitivity, being rude, etc. I would assume the communicution/cultural barrier they had was at least if not greater than the one you have with NTs!?

By the way, they are now very happily married with two kids, but still struggle with communication (because of the language gaps/cultural differences). She is a real beauty and he is, well, in my humble opinion not the most attractive man, not very nice, has modest financial means, overweight, hot tempered ,balding, suffers from severe diabeties, and German (so am I, but I also recognize that it is in our culture to be VERY direct in our communication; kinda like some people on the spectrum).

2. A friend in high school used to try and date online. He was ok looking, extremely sweet, but struggled mightily with written language (grammar, spelling, expressing himself, etc.) and to a similar extent with spoken language (where he made the same mistakes, but also had a high pitched voice that was off-putting). He asked me to help him express himself online- kinda like a virtual Cyrano de Birgerac. So he would tell me what to say, and I would help him word it. After that he had no problems meeting women online.

Good luck

LOL...As long as you don't have Anne Boleyn-type plans, I'd date you (if I wasn't married already!)

I don't have "advanced dating rituals" on my resume.

Honestly... you just have to find the right person to date...

I speak from experience. I have a wife of 17 years, and a girlfriend (who is also my wife's girlfriend). We live together, and are very happy... and they find my autistic moments charming...

The thought of dating absolutely terrifies me. As awkward as I am at just being around people for any length of time without having Aspie moments, being in a situation where you have to try and impress the other person and he is judging everything you do seems like my idea of torture. I could probably fake being NT for a little while, but as soon as I'd get relaxed with him I'd scare the poor guy off. Also, my marriage that I was in for five years was a very painful experience, so I'm not looking forward to trying that any time soon. I figure if I meet a guy, great, and if not, great. Whatever the case, he's going to be a friend first and know what I'm actually like. He's going to see me in all my Aspie glory, lol.