Should I clearly disclose my height?

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Girls clearly don't check the details on dating profiles, I clearly show my height there (5'3) - this is happening.... again: A girl taller than me - clearly was not aware of my height ("I expected you taller") met me for real after online exchange, and started acting all awkwardly with very noticeable body behavior (ie. avoiding to walk side by side, looking left & right, they think I don't notice but I do it silently) - I sworn I don't want to try with a taller girl again but I did anyway and now I regret it.

I was aware she was taller, but since she visited my profile I assumed she's aware and Ok with it, turned out she's not.

So what to do to avoid this waste of time? Should I make sure that every girl who happens to be same-height or taller is aware of it before the meet up? Like for example "hey, in case you didn't notice, you're 10 cm taller, still wanna go?".

There are plenty of girls shorter than 5'3".

No, not really, at least not on okcupid - less than one hand count.

Most girls are taller than me, don't forget the heels.

I tend to have the same problem but its usually the fact I am taller than them (I'm 6 ft 6).
It clearly states so on my profile but yeah...

I don't even know how to write a decent profile or take a decent picture lol
and I rarely get messages anyway lol

IMHO, you have to disclose your true height.

I'm short myself....5 foot 4.75 or 165 cm.

Yes you should because that's something that is quite noticeable. I'm a 5 ft 2 man so I would know. Will it be a deal breaker to some women? Yes it will. It may be a deal breaker to quite a lot of women, but definitely not all women. That's why you want to disclose your height before you meet up to make sure the woman doesn't care.

You didn't read my post or are you accusing me of lying?

I said my true height is shown on the profile.

My question was that should I disclose it even more explicitly before the meet up?

Height shouldn't matter to the girl. You're probably subconsciously communicating the fact that you're worried about it and she picked up on that.

If it's causing issues when you meet people, then you should reiterate it. No sense wasting anyone's time, including your own. Just don't take a grumpy or apologetic tone - keep it upbeat.

says the 5 ft 8 dude. Yes that's in the low average range but it's not like you're unusually short. You're in the 30th percentile. The OP is in the 1th percentile.

Anything under 5 ft 5 is pretty short and noticeable. It will probably be a deal breaker for some women, especially if they're more than 2 inches taller. Although you're right that you shouldn't be worried about your height you would be naive to say that height won't matter at all for a guy who is way below average. It will matter to some women and for others they could care less.

Blaming the guy, always.

And always giving girls the credit of them having power to pick up on invisible vibes, always.

Was her telling me "I expected you taller" is also a part of me being subconsciously worried?
It's impossible for girls to find my height a dealbreaker? It's always my fault?

Alex, I assure don't do any behavior showing I am worried about it, I am not even anxious about it, I have no problem to stand near her in front of others, I never attempt to pull up my shoulders or anything like that.

She simply thought I was of normal height, she didn't check this info, and she got disappoint.

I was the one who picked up the signs of her being embarrassed: Her first question, her way of walking never matching my speed - while people normally subconsciously match their walking speed when walking together, her looking right and left every moment.

All are obvious signs - and man, her first question and her facial expression was enough, I was there, not you.

If I really had a problem I wouldn't even date her.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 17 Feb 2015, 4:07 pm, edited 2 times in total.

No. Your height's in your profile, the girls who are turned off by it won't reply to your messages anyways and re-stating it prior to a date would simply make you come off as neurotic.

Agreed. If the girl is that concerned about height, she's not going to go on a date with you. You may want to get defensive and blame the girl but I know for a fact that girls will date much shorter dudes. The fact that you're worrying so much about looks and so much about something that cannot be changed means your mentality is totally negative.

The fact that you're even worrying about this stuff is off-putting and shows you're insecure about dating. If you made a conscious decision that your height didn't matter, you'd probably attract way more girls of all heights, including above 6 feet.

Interpreting my advice as "blaming the guy" says to me that you're coming at this the wrong way. There's no blame. If a girl doesn't like you, why do you take it personally?

WP's general attitude, the OP is male? The OP got turned down? Then it's all his fault, it's impossible that the girl didn't like something physical in him.

Alex, you are being sooooooo extremely - unfair in this one, the girl did not know what's my height prior date, I told her it was there and she said she didn't check it, so you can't assume that she didn't have a problem with my height prior date because she wasn't aware of it.

For example, this is a snap from a chat I had with a girl I've encountered on okc (then to kik), the height subject was opened by her by chance:




You see? She assumed I am tall, clearly she didn't notice it on my profile either.




KayteeKay has a point that stating explicitly might sound wrong and paranoid, as they wouldn't have any idea why I am doing it.

Maybe the best way, is to open some subject that might lead her to ask me what's my height, the point of this thread is to find a way to make sure they know because they often don't read it on okc.

And I am not going to reply to posts of blaming and psychoanalysis and attempt of putting me in accusatory light, and that includes you Alex, thank you. You believe it's me? Fine, believe it, but keep it to yourself, I am 100% sure that I know myself better than how much you know me.

Note that I wasn't blaming the girl for her reactions, I was just talking how to avoid such situations later in the future.


I have 3 other contacts from okc (got their phone numbers) but I have no idea if they're aware of my height, nor I know what's their height (blank).

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 17 Feb 2015, 5:20 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Maybe it is more subconscious? They may have seen the height as a number (or maybe forgot to check) but when they meet someone in person who is shorter than they are, they may realise they are not that interested in a shorter person. Or maybe they think "I have another guy on OKcupid who is equally attractive except he is taller, let's try that one next".
Or maybe they've seen your picture and overestimate your height, on pictures you can't see people's height unless there are other people standing next to them.
Maybe post a picture standing next to a pretty woman who is slightly taller than you, then they see that you are short and maybe you will be seen as more desirable since you are standing next to a pretty woman. Oh, and take the picture next to an expensive car (doesn't have to be yours)

Yes, they often do, check previous post - and no, she wasn't the only one.




I don't include other people in pics because I wouldn't know if they mind to be seen on a dating site.



That's so stupid man. lol