Discussion: Autism and Polyamory
"Unconventional relationships" are specfically mentioned on http://rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php
IME Wrong Planet isn't an especially friendly site for people who have or desire having relationships which would fall outside of social norms.
Cohabitation isn't a requirement of any relationship, either mono or poly.
Even if you were in a "V" you need not be the "hinge". (There are what are known as mono-poly relationships. Some mono people are fine with, even prefer, being in relationships with poly people. It can also be the case that some poly people prefer only other poly people though.)
It's more important to be "fair" to all your partners rather than "equal". Whilst they might appear to be the same thing, in practice they rarely are, since people are different. So relationships can be as unique as the people they involve. This applies just as much to sexual or romantic partners as it does to platonic ones.
If you did have two poly gfs then it's perfectly possible that they'd (both) have other bfs or gfs themselves.
Even if you were in a "V" you need not be the "hinge". (There are what are known as mono-poly relationships. Some mono people are fine with, even prefer, being in relationships with poly people. It can also be the case that some poly people prefer only other poly people though.)
It's more important to be "fair" to all your partners rather than "equal". Whilst they might appear to be the same thing, in practice they rarely are, since people are different. So relationships can be as unique as the people they involve. This applies just as much to sexual or romantic partners as it does to platonic ones.
If you did have two poly gfs then it's perfectly possible that they'd (both) have other bfs or gfs themselves.
_________________
Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? https://kissanime.to/AnimeList
_________________
Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? https://kissanime.to/AnimeList
I find the whole "one" concept incomprehensible.The idea of deliberatly seeking exclusivity seems crazy to me.
I can honestly tell you that I have met and/or been romantically linked to a handful of girls that, had they lived around my way, I would have proudly considered wifey. Girls from Arizona, Canada, New Jersey, Wisconsin, (I was into long distance dating at the time. Sue me.) They all were amazing women in their own way, and they all can instantly destroy this idea of there being only one woman or man for you. At least that happens after you truly get to know those girls or guys.
So, what do you do when you are faced with that dilemma? Some resort to polygamy. Sounds like a plan, I guess.
_________________
I'm not strange. I'm just drawn that way. That being said, work on your drawing skills already!
Even if you were in a "V" you need not be the "hinge". (There are what are known as mono-poly relationships. Some mono people are fine with, even prefer, being in relationships with poly people. It can also be the case that some poly people prefer only other poly people though.)
It's more important to be "fair" to all your partners rather than "equal". Whilst they might appear to be the same thing, in practice they rarely are, since people are different. So relationships can be as unique as the people they involve. This applies just as much to sexual or romantic partners as it does to platonic ones.
If you did have two poly gfs then it's perfectly possible that they'd (both) have other bfs or gfs themselves.
Even in a co-habiting group poly situation group sex is not the norm. At a rather more practical level it's rather important that everyone in a co-habiting situation has his or her own space. With some aspies requiring a great deal of personal space. Even if you did have partners sharing a house separate individual bedrooms with an "big bed" in a "playroom" could be a far more practical way to go about things.
Very unlikely to happen.
Even if you were in a "V" you need not be the "hinge". (There are what are known as mono-poly relationships. Some mono people are fine with, even prefer, being in relationships with poly people. It can also be the case that some poly people prefer only other poly people though.)
It's more important to be "fair" to all your partners rather than "equal". Whilst they might appear to be the same thing, in practice they rarely are, since people are different. So relationships can be as unique as the people they involve. This applies just as much to sexual or romantic partners as it does to platonic ones.
If you did have two poly gfs then it's perfectly possible that they'd (both) have other bfs or gfs themselves.
Even in a co-habiting group poly situation group sex is not the norm. At a rather more practical level it's rather important that everyone in a co-habiting situation has his or her own space. With some aspies requiring a great deal of personal space. Even if you did have partners sharing a house separate individual bedrooms with an "big bed" in a "playroom" could be a far more practical way to go about things.
Very unlikely to happen.
_________________
Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? https://kissanime.to/AnimeList
Even if you were in a "V" you need not be the "hinge". (There are what are known as mono-poly relationships. Some mono people are fine with, even prefer, being in relationships with poly people. It can also be the case that some poly people prefer only other poly people though.)
It's more important to be "fair" to all your partners rather than "equal". Whilst they might appear to be the same thing, in practice they rarely are, since people are different. So relationships can be as unique as the people they involve. This applies just as much to sexual or romantic partners as it does to platonic ones.
If you did have two poly gfs then it's perfectly possible that they'd (both) have other bfs or gfs themselves.
Even in a co-habiting group poly situation group sex is not the norm. At a rather more practical level it's rather important that everyone in a co-habiting situation has his or her own space. With some aspies requiring a great deal of personal space. Even if you did have partners sharing a house separate individual bedrooms with an "big bed" in a "playroom" could be a far more practical way to go about things.
Very unlikely to happen.
It does happen sometimes though. I have known of some very happy triads, where all 3 love each other mutually. Personally, I think a triad sounds like it could be very beneficial and I would be open to being in one, but wouldn't want to be part of a V (regardless of which part of it I was); however, I know some people are very happy in V's, too.
_________________
Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.
Even if you were in a "V" you need not be the "hinge". (There are what are known as mono-poly relationships. Some mono people are fine with, even prefer, being in relationships with poly people. It can also be the case that some poly people prefer only other poly people though.)
It's more important to be "fair" to all your partners rather than "equal". Whilst they might appear to be the same thing, in practice they rarely are, since people are different. So relationships can be as unique as the people they involve. This applies just as much to sexual or romantic partners as it does to platonic ones.
If you did have two poly gfs then it's perfectly possible that they'd (both) have other bfs or gfs themselves.
Even in a co-habiting group poly situation group sex is not the norm. At a rather more practical level it's rather important that everyone in a co-habiting situation has his or her own space. With some aspies requiring a great deal of personal space. Even if you did have partners sharing a house separate individual bedrooms with an "big bed" in a "playroom" could be a far more practical way to go about things.
Very unlikely to happen.
It does happen sometimes though. I have known of some very happy triads, where all 3 love each other mutually. Personally, I think a triad sounds like it could be very beneficial and I would be open to being in one, but wouldn't want to be part of a V (regardless of which part of it I was); however, I know some people are very happy in V's, too.
_________________
Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? https://kissanime.to/AnimeList
What are your experiences?
How did you make poly relationships work?
What went wrong?
Basically, discuss Polyamory here.
My views are that it is extremely self-indulgent and *not* a good thing. To each ones own I suppose, but I have no desire to participate in it nor be involved with those who do. I have no experience with it and that is intentional.
I'm monogamous but I met abusive manipulative Ex in 2010 and proceeded to make out with her for the first time in a 3 year (toxic) correspondence. Only the next day she confessed she has a girlfriend, she just neglected to tell me before she chose to put her mouth on me that she is already in a relationship and they're swingers who date/sleep with other couples. And this was the first red flag of thousands, but I failed to see it. I understand that you can love one person and another and another and everyone involved consents to it and has a good time, but not if you later are constantly kicking me out and are like, "There's someone else."
12 hours later "I lied. There isn't someone else."
5 minutes later. "We should be talking about this girl together. Testing the waters..."
So that experience was a whole tractor of WTF. Here's a blog for more ~WTF ex stories~:
http://www.minihulkhorror.blogspot.com
I would love to be a hinge of a V involving two women both bi loving eachother as well as me it would be awesome! I would snuggle with them and cuddle with them and they can snuggle and cuddle with each other it would be super awesome!
_________________
Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? https://kissanime.to/AnimeList
From what I've seen, in the polyamory world, a "V" means a relationship where 1 person is in a relationship with 2 others, but the 2 others aren't in a relationship with each other. What you've described is usually called a "triad" - think of a triangle, all 3 points are connected to each other - so you're in a relationship with both girls and both girls are in a relationship with each other (or 3 girls are in relationship with each other or 3 guys or 1 girl and 2 guys). If a polyamorous relationship is intended to be long-term and exclusive, it's sometimes called "polyfidelity" rather than "polyamory" to indicate that all involved members (3 in a triad) are faithful to each other and committed to a longer relationship, as opposed to "swingers" or others who have multiple short-term relationships.
A polyfidelity-based triad would, I think, be a very supportive and solid arrangement with the right 3 people. They're rare, because generally once 2 get together, any 3rd assumes they're "unavailable" and it's hard to make anything come about...but I'd love to be one of the exceptions. I am already part of a couple, so know that my chances of experiencing a triad are pretty slight (my partner would be happy to have a 2nd girl as well, but changing desire into reality is difficult), but if I ended up being one of the lucky ones, that'd be awesome. My partner got to know a triad and he's told me about their story, and I've read stories of a few others. How they get together is always interesting to hear about - usually, it seems, none of the involved parties had any clue polyamory even existed, but somehow they still ended up together.
Here's one blog that I really enjoyed reading through: http://itaintyourmamasthreesome.blogspot.com
_________________
Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.
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