Hitler: "I suggest you to do war but never love!"

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I am not implying one should take advice from Hitler. But in this case, I think he is right, and it bothers me.

It bothers me because I would like to find love. But in the end I see that, since I have Aspergers Syndrome, I do not feel properly alive in a love-context.

Because of AS I only feel truly alive when it is in some sense af "live or die" scenario. But in love, it is not about living or dying, it is ultimately a dominance/submission power game.

This could be succesful had I been a girl with the same personality, seeing that guys can accept "bitchiness" because women have the sexual power. But girls do not accept "bitchiness" in a guy, since she demands having the sexual power. In the end, if a woman cannot properly control when she has sex with a male, she is not interested in being together. This is not true for men. This is a simple consequence of the fact that females make greater parental investment than males do.


So, for these reasons, I wonder how one can find love if you are male with Aspergers Syndrome? You are basically a male ready to take on the female role in a relationship, but no woman would ever allow that because she demands the sexual power.

I see how it is possible for girls with AS to find love in this dating game, because girls are supposed to be girls in a relationship, but not for guys with AS, who cannot take on the male role because of the AS.

I would really like advice on this.

Hope to hear from you.

Yes, by not believing this misogynistic claptrap and treating other people like equals.

I hope someone has an answer to this problem.

What do you mean by "bitchiness"? It was the notion that women are bitchy that I objected to, but I've read your other thread and I understand your question a bit better now.

I just think it's a shame that anyone should be labelled as having a male type of thinking or a female type of thinking. I believe our personalities are more fluid than the old fashioned stereotypes and anyone can be anything. I used to say that I have more of a male brain, but then I met other women like me and I realised that I wasn't alone in the way I thought, so that made me realise there is a varied specturm of personalities and most people don't actually fit into pigeon holes of cliched gender roles once you get to know them.

Hitler believed two plus two made four.

I hope you don’t agree with Hitler!

At the same time, finding somebody who doesn't believe in gender roles is like finding a very specific jellyfish in the ocean. It's so rare that it's almost futile

2 + 2 = 4 ?

2 + 2 = 5, so says IngSoc.

It isn't always a game of power, there isn't always one dominant and one submissive - and not in the BDSM context, but in the way of one having control or power over certain situations. A lot of people seek an equal relationship where two people don't try to assume superiority or inferiority over their partner, and they communicate openly and honestly. What you posted about isn't a relationship, it's manipulating someone to get what you want from them, while posing as "being in a relationship." I think if you abandon superiority and inferiority complexes when you engage in social interactions you might have a much easier time finding a partner.

On that note, hitler's quote translated to me really means "It is easier to hate than to love" and maybe he's right, but his hate led him to his own demise.