Need to get my stuff back... Help!

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AnotherConfusedNTGal
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24 Mar 2015, 3:11 am

I have a minor "situation"... if anyone cares to know the story, it's in another post:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=278224

It's a long post... but basically, I need to get my stuff back from this guy I was seeing and I am not sure how to do it because he has been ignoring my texts (but obviously reads them). I am not sure how to approach him and encourage him to respond - I even told him he can just have them shipped (assuming he doesn't want to meet in person). I am just making assumptions since I have absolutely no idea why he disappeared - it has been a month. I don't think it is typical for a person with Aspergers to disappear for one month, is it? I sure do hope it's nothing serious but there is no way for me to find that out...

Help!!



Vomelche
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26 Mar 2015, 8:24 am

I don't think that has anything to do with his autism, anyone could do that. Sounds like he might be a commitment phobe. Its unlikely that he will respond anytime soon, you can try coming by his house if you really want your things, hopefully they weren't expensive.



AnotherConfusedNTGal
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26 Mar 2015, 9:41 am

Vomelche wrote:
I don't think that has anything to do with his autism, anyone could do that. Sounds like he might be a commitment phobe. Its unlikely that he will respond anytime soon, you can try coming by his house if you really want your things, hopefully they weren't expensive.


Thanks Volmeche. I've taken the commitment-phobe thing into consideration already and said "I won't bother you again, just want my stuff back" - something like that but still didn't get a response. It's really frustrating (and it's taking a lot of effort from me trying to remain calm).



AnotherConfusedNTGal
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26 Mar 2015, 8:42 pm

I have seen this happen before with the disfunctional relationship I had with my ex where he would use my things as leverage because he wasn't sure whether he wants to end it or not. However, this guy and I are not officially together and I think one month of not hearing from him is enough for me to assume he is not interested anymore. But, considering Aspergers, is there any logical reason why he would not even talk to me about returning my belongings? (Are they as good as gone :( ) I do not want to resort to going to his house as much as possible. I've done that before and it was a traumatic experience for me.



cberg
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27 Mar 2015, 12:07 am

Well it's not cool to just keep your stuff without giving you any answers but I can tell you from experience that a month really isn't all that long for me to disappear. I've given up on social life for upwards of 6 months before, though I don't think I ever held onto anything of importance to a friend.

Unless this is about something you really need I'd recommend just giving it some time for the situation to become clear to you. People get spacey and crazy stuff happens to us.


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AnotherConfusedNTGal
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27 Mar 2015, 7:30 pm

cberg wrote:
Unless this is about something you really need I'd recommend just giving it some time for the situation to become clear to you. People get spacey and crazy stuff happens to us.


Thanks cberg... I have no idea how it's going to be clear to me since he doesn't say anything. But maybe I'll give it one more month. Have you shut someone you're dating out like this before? He has done it once (this is the second time) and said he "lost his phone".



SilverStar
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29 Mar 2015, 12:49 am

I would give it a little more time, if you still don't hear anything from him, maybe have someone else go to his place to pick your stuff up?