Why is Asperger's unattractive?

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There is absolutely nothing physically unattractive about AS. What's unattractive is the self-loathing and despair that some embrace as an excuse for failure. Yes, we have handicaps when it comes to getting to know people and forging relationships, but as long as you're still breathing, handicaps can be overcome.

Tony Attwood's Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome describes several exercises designed to help autistic children learn to be more socially aware, develop their skills and make friends, but even if you're not a kid, they're good reminders of what not to do and how to be more responsive to others in social situations.

I disagree. (...and am slightly offended.) Being on the spectrum does not equate to retardation, which is a meaningless and outdated term that I'm surprised to see you use. However the larger flaw in your argument is your conclusion. Social norms are flexible and turnoffedness is up to the beholder. The idea of normal is a fantasy.

Aspergers is the reason why I don't wear Hello Kitty merch and don't listen to preschooler music. This "I wanna be a prom queen too!" crap that some girls with Aspergers pull is pitiful. Why don't they force themselves to be a prom queen instead of making a seven year old in a 17 year old's body out of themselves?

Self pity is super unattractive. If you wanted to be something that bad you would force yourself to be it.

There is also a Mexico in Missouri. I guess that is one good thing that I got with the Asperger's. I am a fountain of useless knowledge.

I wish it were that easy.

Well....many people don't actually find Aspergian types to be "unattractive."

What's most important is to be physically clean. Nobody, man or woman, likes somebody who is dirty.

I'm sure your wife finds you pretty attractive, Professor John.

All this crap about "nerdiness" started around the time of Adlai Stevenson (i.e., in the early 1950s). He was the reason the term "egghead" was invented.

Agree to disagree then I suppose. I didn't say retardation. I said "socially ret*d." Call it whatever you want: socially inept, social deficiency, socially inferior, under functioning social brain circuits... no matter which way you slice it, Aspies tend to be lacking in the social department and that's a major turnoff for most people, and IMO the core of the reason many Aspies are perceived as unattractive.

Sure, social norms are flexible.. but there's still a norm & most Aspies don't typically resemble people w/ normal social behaviour. Of course "turnoffedness" is up to the beholder.. but I'm talking about typical normal NT people. In general, people aren't attracted to the socially inept. The idea of normal is not a fantasy. It's very real. It's why we have social norms that you yourself just referenced.

I would like to think so. I sometimes worry that if I can't determine why I was so unattractive in the past, I won't be able to keep it from happening again.

I feel unattractive a lot, mostly because I was teased growing up for being awkward everyday. I didn't learn how to be feminine until my early 20's and was quite tomboyish up until then.

Today I am married and my husband finds me very attractive. I have done modeling and do not have trouble to attract others, even though I am quite eccentric and odd. I do have trouble with slouching, I have read this is a common autistic trait, when I slouch my face can change completely, it becomes less defined an what I believe to be very unattractive so it is something I constantly at battle with. I am not much of a chatty person and am often in my own world so my social skills are not very good but the type of people I like and that like me are not really into being ultra social as well so it works out pretty good.

I will be with my husband for the rest of my life (or his) so I am not concerned with being attractive to other people any longer, just him. That leaves me with more interesting things to focus on like my art and family, sex and all that comes along with it I don't think about very much.

It's mean to imply that all aspies who fail at friendships and relationships simply don't try hard enough.

Well, social fluidity is not everything. Many attractive people are quiet. So I guess we disagree.

I do think there is a difference between being quiet (introverted) and having poor social skills. I can be quiet and still exhibit odd behavior, or not give off the correct non-verbal cues, etc.

All people with ASD don't behave the same way. Not all are quiet, like you say, but there's no one autistic way of being. And social skills can be learned, so being challenged by them is not the end of the game.

I agree with the learning of social skills, I do much better today than I did growing up. I think it is very hard, though, to learn how to properly use non-verbal language, give off the correct cues, etc.

This is probably where I'm at my most "autistic"

The "giving off" of subtle hints. This is why I come across as being "blunt"--because, otherwise, nobody would have any idea what I'm trying to convey.

Supposedly, it's a "chic" desirable diagnosis to have at the moment.