Why do girls go after a guy when he's only after one...?

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The_Face_of_Boo
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02 Apr 2015, 1:04 am

Subjekt_9 wrote:
Wow......I guess I was expecting to get a lot of smart ass comments but this has actually been quite educational....

"1 The mate choice copying effect with attractiveness scores grouped into low, medium, and high
categories for men and women. Being paired with a woman from a higher attractiveness group tended to
increase men’s attractiveness ratings, and being pictured with a woman from a lower group decreased
men’s ratings"

Makes sense. The girl I'm with is the most attractive female at work *shrugs* Well.....of course it sounds like I'm being biased, but I think for the most part its true. Other girls at work are just "meh".

So why is it then that more men aren't going for the one I'm with? I'm just glad they aren't, actually....though I am known for being a bit on the "brutish" side and can go into a pretty aggressive attitude at times, so maybe that has something to do with it....I was recently compared to a Pit Bull in relation to how territorial I am over my area at work *shrugs* I like things to be a certain way and can be a jerk when someone messes things up :lol:



I dunno but men's interest usually drops to zero when they see the girl with a guy and especially if it's confirmed he's her partner.



The_Face_of_Boo
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02 Apr 2015, 1:28 am

Subjekt_9 wrote:
Wow......I guess I was expecting to get a lot of smart ass comments but this has actually been quite educational....

"1 The mate choice copying effect with attractiveness scores grouped into low, medium, and high
categories for men and women. Being paired with a woman from a higher attractiveness group tended to
increase men’s attractiveness ratings, and being pictured with a woman from a lower group decreased
men’s ratings"

Makes sense. The girl I'm with is the most attractive female at work *shrugs* Well.....of course it sounds like I'm being biased, but I think for the most part its true. Other girls at work are just "meh".

So why is it then that more men aren't going for the one I'm with? I'm just glad they aren't, actually....though I am known for being a bit on the "brutish" side and can go into a pretty aggressive attitude at times, so maybe that has something to do with it....I was recently compared to a Pit Bull in relation to how territorial I am over my area at work *shrugs* I like things to be a certain way and can be a jerk when someone messes things up :lol:



I've always been told about that being with attractive women vs being non-attractive women; I didn't believe it but now I see a great evidence for it

I think this how it subconsciously goes in their heads: We as humans, subconsciously aware that attractive people are usually more picky, that's because attractive people can afford to be more picky, so women know that beautiful women are in average pickier than the general population - therefore when they see you with one, they associate you with her and think that you have good traits in order to be picked by the (picky) beautiful woman.

That goes in reverse if you are with an unattractive woman, especially if she is "below" your level of attractiveness, because they would assume that you are desperate and would accept anything, and not picked by a picky woman anyway.

Have you ever heard a bunch of ladies gossiping negatively about a guy and his lady in case she's consensually seen physically unattractive by this group? I've witnessed this a lot, from female friends to female coworkers to family members; and they unmercifully tear her apart with their negative gossip - this happens so commonly in large gatherings and weddings.

While it is the opposite if she's attractive, sometimes, they would go "what the...." if they see a beautiful woman with a much uglier guy, and might comment negatively about the guys' looks - but waaaay less harsher compared to the opposite scenario, and if he's successful financially wise they would continue with something like "...but he's (doctor/lawyer/engineer/rich)", something which you never hear about the beautiful woman in the above scenario even if she's one those professions.

I never heard men engaging in this kind of talk and evaluation, they may say something like "she's so ugly" and stop at that.



The_Face_of_Boo
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02 Apr 2015, 1:44 am

genesis529 wrote:


Here it's showing that it exists in both genders:

http://beheco.oxfordjournals.org/content/23/1/112.full
.

Studies like this make me wonder if I'm even human...


While they aren't bible, studies like those make me understand more the human nature, and I observe humans around me to assess how true the study is, for these 2 specific studies...they turn out to be very true.



rdos
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02 Apr 2015, 2:47 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
genesis529 wrote:


Here it's showing that it exists in both genders:

http://beheco.oxfordjournals.org/content/23/1/112.full
.

Studies like this make me wonder if I'm even human...


While they aren't bible, studies like those make me understand more the human nature, and I observe humans around me to assess how true the study is, for these 2 specific studies...they turn out to be very true.


They probably have little relevance for neurodiversity. Studies like this one should require replication in the neurodiverse population before assuming it is an "human universal". About the only relevance I think this has for neurodiverse people is that it probably is safe to assume that women that do this are mostly NTs, and as such are not compatible, and thus are only nuisances.



The_Face_of_Boo
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02 Apr 2015, 8:01 am

rdos wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
genesis529 wrote:


Here it's showing that it exists in both genders:

http://beheco.oxfordjournals.org/content/23/1/112.full
.

Studies like this make me wonder if I'm even human...


While they aren't bible, studies like those make me understand more the human nature, and I observe humans around me to assess how true the study is, for these 2 specific studies...they turn out to be very true.


They probably have little relevance for neurodiversity. Studies like this one should require replication in the neurodiverse population before assuming it is an "human universal". About the only relevance I think this has for neurodiverse people is that it probably is safe to assume that women that do this are mostly NTs, and as such are not compatible, and thus are only nuisances.



I don't think what you call neurodiverse are statistically significant in the total population.

NT behaviour reflects more of the human universal behaviour.



Thanatos86
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02 Apr 2015, 3:27 pm

Because owmen want to take what another woman has. They are competitive and hateful towards one another



rdos
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03 Apr 2015, 3:24 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I don't think what you call neurodiverse are statistically significant in the total population.


Doesn't matter. Neurodiversity is common enough to be counted as a significant minority group with a prevalence around 10-15%.

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
NT behaviour reflects more of the human universal behaviour.


Sure, but in the partner area you can decide you don't want to have anything to do with NTs.



Subjekt_9
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03 Apr 2015, 5:37 pm

Oh. My. GOD see what I mean? I just got this on Facebook from a girl I used to work with 3 years ago and I thought she was REALLY cute but pretty much unavailable. So I show up to my old job to see a couple friends since I haven't seen them in those three years, she was there, we didn't even say anything to each other and then......

"Trust me before you know it you will be forty. But I would of never said this before. But I have always had an interest in you. But I would of never told you that. So just letting you know. "

Before that she said something like "if I had your number..." and then "Maybe if you want we can hang out later" and I totally didn't pick up on it at the time, but then she says that and...yeah

Seriously, this does not happen often or atleast I haven't picked up on these things until the last few months but jesus.....Its good to know all the science involved but its still hard to believe. I hope this girl I'm going for isn't just stringing me along because I'm missing out on some good opportunities :(



Nambo
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03 Apr 2015, 6:23 pm

Subjekt_9 wrote:
I hope this girl I'm going for isn't just stringing me along because I'm missing out on some good opportunities :(


Yeah and its just so frustrating the way these opportunities arrive when you are unavailable, then the minute you are free and single, nothing, nobody seems interested in you.



Subjekt_9
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03 Apr 2015, 7:50 pm

Nambo wrote:
Subjekt_9 wrote:
I hope this girl I'm going for isn't just stringing me along because I'm missing out on some good opportunities :(


Yeah and its just so frustrating the way these opportunities arrive when you are unavailable, then the minute you are free and single, nothing, nobody seems interested in you.


EXACTLY! Its been that way for the last several years. I've basically kept to myself, became a recluse, etc. Now its like one girl after the other keeps showing interest and they don't let up even when I don't show interest in return. Its just kind of overwhelming......I'm used to being in the shadows, not the lime light :oops: Not trying to boast either.....its just I'm not used to all of this.



ocelots
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04 Apr 2015, 9:16 am

Sometimes it's unintentional and innocent. You're happier and more confident in a relationship, maybe this sense of confidence increases your attractiveness. For some women, just knowing that you're in a relationship will boost your appeal to them because it means that there's at least one person who finds you relationship material, so you must be doing something right.

Sometimes it's not innocent though. Sometimes women make some weird game out of it. It's really annoying when someone doesn't talk to you for months when you're single, then once you start dating someone, they're texting you every day for no good reason. I'm talking about women who try to get in your head with the texts about how much they miss you, calling you babe, saying sexual things. I had one girl do this to me when she found out about my current relationship and once I realized it, I was really pissed off. I'd been answering her out of politeness at first but then once I saw what she was doing I stopped responding to her at all. Sucks because we'd been friends for about 4-5 years prior. But she shouldn't have done that to me, she shouldn't have tried to get me to "choose". Because when it comes down to having to choose between people... I am always gonna choose my current relationship, the girl I plan on marrying. Honestly if someone messaged me on FB that she always had a crush on me after she saw I was with someone I'd be really skeptical of her motives. That isn't something you can just casually say to someone, it's obviously going to have an effect on how both of you see the friendship from here on out, and for her to wait to tell me this until now just seems questionable and shady.

But, I guess your reaction to it really depends a lot on how you feel about your current relationship. If you're serious about it, then you'll probably have no problem telling the new girls to kick rocks. And if you find yourself liking the attention, or feeling more tempted than annoyed by them, maybe this relationship isn't right for you anyway.