If you're 27 and never had a girlfriend, is it too late?

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Regarding the text I highlighted in bold: Nothin' wrong with that! But if you work to get money to live, then what do you see your overarching purpose in life as being? Just to exist and have hobbies to pass the time? I'm not saying there's anything inherently *wrong* with that but since we both live in the USofA this kind of attitude is really looked down upon. But I say focus right now on getting a job and even getting educated if you aren't already(secondary post-HS education)so you have a means to support yourself and live independently. You actually sound very depressed....Are you? If the answer to that question is affirmative then you need to get treatment ASAP.

to have a family. though since that is impossible I just live to live. trying to find enjoyment where i can. all those people work their life away and die, and what do they leave behind nothing. nothing but a wasted life missed enjoyments all so they could have a bunch of money that then goes to the gov. other nations live life for life. wish we hadn't been sold out to the companies in the us.

I'm doing everything I can currently to get a job. still leaves a lot of free time.I did get a degree and two certs. I can't work in that field though so it just useless and gavel me 11k in debt. think we shouldnt' push kids to go to college for just going to college sake, just leaves a lot of people in my position with debt and a degree they can't use. again this supports the companies who want to make money. instead highschool should be spent helping kids find what they good at and can make a living out of. whether that's going to college for a degree or just getting another non degree job.
that said I think it took plenty of ambition to finish high school with regular diploma then attend 4 years of college. way more then any in the gov expected I'd do and more compared to others similar to me in this area. I also had ambition when I tried to join the military even though that didn't pan out. women want success not ambition. as you can have ambition and fail over and over again. yet I keep trying. I admit I may not be doing it as it meets some 50 year old tea parties old ideas. but for a aspie I think i'm trying my hardest I'm doing stuff that makes me scared and anxious. I went to the quite possibly worse job for me and tried.

idk I have happy times. except nights, but then I come here and see people saying people like me won't ever have love and it makes me depressed. so does dating sites. there's no help for me though just born too wrong. I'll never be fully happy alone. to people thats wrong. to others it makes perfect sense. I truely know that people are just different, those who can live happy alone hate those of us who can't cause we're different from them. want everyone to be like them. I can't change how I was born or who I am I desire and need companionship. doesn't mean its the source of all my happiness, just I won't be fully happy without it. which for some and I suspect you, is impossible to understand. just as I could never understand how people can be fully happy alone never seeing another person.

I honestly see no reason for anybody to go to college/university unless they plan to be a doctor or scientist or professional translator/interpreter (due to needing to learn correct grammar/spelling when translating technical-documents).

Anyway in other news related to girl-friends...

Me neither, and I'm not part of it even if I work. I work with my special interest and I enjoy it. I have no desire to "climb" in the hierarchy, and I have a good pay enough so I don't need to go elsewhere.



I'd never consider a woman like that. You cannot trust them so they are not relationship material.



I don't think this has anything to do with culture or how you are raised. It's much simpler than that: For NTs, it is males that are supposed to take all the initiatives, while for neurodiverse people it's less pronounced (I'd even say it's mixed). That's why only a small number of women will take these initiatives, and culture will not change this.

Yes there are girl gamers, I know several two young women in their twenties who like PC gaming yet they are also focussed on their careers. One has a job and the other is doing a nursing degree.You're not? Yet you choose who you want to be. No one is born ambitious or unambitious. Ambition is a choice. We are defined by our choices in life. We choose who we want to be. You can choose to be someone you'd admire and the girls will like you for it.

You don't have to be ambitious if you don't want to. But girls don't have to like unambitious guys if they don't want to.You exaggerate. The majority of the career-men don't work 20 hours per day. I've only known two people who did anything like that. One worked 20 hours per day because she had severe insomnia and one worked 19 hours per day because that sort of thing was expected of her when she was living in Malaysia.Yes and I've seen a guy who's 21, never had a job and is adored by his girlfriend of four years. What this proves is that you can't use other guys you know as evidence for what will happen in your life. You must forge your own path.That's fine, it doesn't have to be but you must ask yourself, what is your life, what are you living for? If you don't live for work then you should find something else to live for. Choose anything, even something selfish. Live for games if you want, it's better than having no purpose in your life.Well then, if you're the one to ask girls out that means you have more choice. You can ask out any girl you want instead of waiting to be asked out. And remember, if you think it's hard being the guy and asking the girl out, it's no less hard being the girl and asking the guy out. As I said before, girls get nervous too.

$20 per hour is all of $41k per year. That's not exactly Richy Richville!

Even so, $41k/year can still enable you to live comfortably(by that I mean provide all of your needs)in certain places. I personally wouldn't even CONSIDER dating a woman who had a minimum income requirement for a man! So long as he is able to support himself without assistance from his family or from the state that should be good enough. Golddiggers need not apply. Thank you and good night.



Um, no. If the you're the one asking girls out then it's the girls who have more choice because you're placing the ball in their court. Yeah, girls get nervous too but why should GUYS have to take all the risks? I'm not saying girls *should* ask guys out but should be more obvious and direct by letting know guys that they're interested when they are.

Nevertheless, if you're going to ask a girl out and expect to get a yes you need to learn to read the signals and social cues she's sending out to you. If there are no signals of interest on her part, then your chances aren't good. If they are, then make your move.

You wouldn't date a woman who has a minimum requirement or a woman who told you about it? At least the latter one is open about it. Obviously nobody wants to date a person like that, but it's not possible to avoid it unless the other person tells you.

In my case I'm totally unaware of their "requirements", as I don't give them a chance to verify them. That will scare the gold diggers away because they need to verify if their requirements are met before getting emotionally involved, and when I don't let them verify anything they'll lose any interest they might have had.

yes but for some guys it takes them longer than others to overcome shyness and social anxiety, having shyness, social-awkwardness is going to hurt guys more than girls since the status-quo still strongly dictates it is the guy who be the initiator.

Yet the vast majority of socially anxious, poor, underemployed/unemployed, average looking men have had a date/relationship and lost their virginity well before age 27.

Also if you're not asking girls out, they're not rejecting you. You haven't afforded them the opportunity to do so! Everybody feels like a loser/idiot when they ask out someone who says no. Almost everybody gets over it, as evidenced by the fact tat the human race still exists and few folks are dating, let alone reproducing with the person they invited to their 6th grade graduation dance dance.

What have you done differently? What's your strategy for trying to get a girlfriend? Besides your newfound magnanimous decision to date girls whose faces aren't wuite supermodel-like if their bodies are hot enough to meet your exacting standards?

Suggestions include:
- making IRL friends (evidence of social competence, plus they might introduce you to single girls who might be more likely to be okay w/your awkwardness since you come with a reference)
- becoming financially stable (it'd be good for your self-esteem, plus it's something you actually have some control over; it'd likely also also increase the number of girls willing to consider dating you -- not because they're evil gold diggers who want to financially exploit you but because they want to date men they believe aren't out to financially exploit *them*)
- honestly evaluating your looks/what you bring to a relationship and pursuing women who are more or less your "equal".
- do whatever is necessary to ensure you see Elliot Rodger's actions and resentment (at girls supposedly denying him sex, while giving to men he considered his "inferiors") at girls for what they are: seriously messed up and UNSUCCESSFUL!
- Consider seeing girls as PEOPLE -- not inanimate objects for you to acquire, f*ck and show off. Your resentment at guys who date the "super-hottie" late teens/early 20s girls you've never had the nerve to speak this palpable.

^ She's still in the nice mood and helpful mood for now, but then soon, ......gawd helps us.

Only if they are NTs.



That's a useful strategy. My favorite one even.



Don't follow you. What is the connection between easily getting over being rejected and that the human race still exists?



Useless advice. Friends aren't relationship material, and girls that require social competence aren't either.



Ever heard of a man financially exploiting a woman? Never happens, because women don't like men that are earning less than themselves (at least NT women don't).

So, yes, they tend to be evil gold diggers if they require a lot in the financial area. OTOH, not hard to select those out. Simply refuse to tell them your income or what you are working with.



Bring to a relationship? Isn't that the "gold digger" dimension? Previously you claimed there were no gold diggers, but now you are talking about what people bring.



No, I only consider them as material of obsessions (if I like them that is).

I'm 22 and have never been asked out. (Or if I have, I missed it. That's possible.) Not the same, I know, but in answer to your question...no. It is never too late.

Well, I do not deny that the current system sucks. I am quite tired of dating women who seem to expect me to do 90% of the work.

yes the vast majority of guys have before age 27, that's the cold harsh truth, but on forums everywhere, whenever I hear of a person being my age or older and still being a virgin, never having a relationship before, I hear guys make those posts more than girls do. Anyway, sounds like someone made a duplicate account.