realising too late that your crush liked you too

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Have you ever found out that people you liked or had a crush on also had a crush on you back too but you didn't realize it until it was too late?

I don't think so. If they did like me back I was never aware of it.

Yup, usually I'm 1-2 years late on that one.

Ha! Yeah, and how! In high school I had friendships with some girls that I really liked, but I can't tell when someone is flirting with me, and back then I had even less of a clue. When yearbooks came out, some of them wrote their phone numbers in mine. I have an aversion to the telephone, so I didn't give it another thought.

Fast forward into my 20's, after studying psychology for eight to ten years I finally realized that some of these girls were just short of holding figurative neon signs in front of my face as far as signals go they they were interested in me beyond a casual acquaintance dynamic . What's the word people use nowadays.... facepalm?

Right now I am in somewhat the same boat, I kind of like this woman, we're friends, but I have no gauge on where she stands and I'm not really in a position to pursue anything anyway, so I just silently admire her and be as good a friend as I can be.

That's only happened to me once. There was this girl back in college who I admired because she was pretty. I never really considered her as anything more than a friend though because I didn't think she was into women. She complimented me once by saying that I looked like the love child of Freddie Mercury and David Bowie. I figured she was just being friendly. She invited me over to her mom's house where she still lived and we sat on her bed together and joked about things. One day she told me she was a model for Suicide Girls and I didn't know what that was so she e-mailed me two pictures of herself nude and it was confusing. I just figured she wanted an opinion on her modeling work. I didn't realize she was hitting on me. After not getting the response she wanted, she backed off. 2 years later, she admits that she had a crush on me. I was so taken aback that I tried to ask her out, but it was already too late and she moved onto somebody else. I didn't have my diagnosis back then.

Only once. More often than not, things just weren't mutual--so I believe, anyway. I'm not very appealing to the average person, nor are they very appealing to me.

This time around we know... but actually live quite far apart and don't know each other very well. We're both used to being alone at this point and approaching our 30's.

It's happened a couple of times. I can always console myself with the knowledge that with where I was mentally at that point in my life, it wouldn't have worked out well.

Usually with me it is more like I know that they like me too but somehow I do something to make them not like me.

No never

nope

This has happened in the past but I don't know how recently. Who knows, some girl may secretly have a slight crush on me right now and I don't even know it. Usually, you can tell if someone is interested in you or not but this isn't always the case especially if they're the type that likes to hide the fact they're really into someone. I mean think about it when we like someone and we're shy, our natural tendency is to try to hide it so we will avoid eye contact with our crush and will probably be pretty nervous around them. So you should watch for these signs in girls who are around you.


It's actually kind of funny if you think about it. What if two people are secretly obsessed with one another but they don't know the other is obsessed with them? And they both try to hide their true feelings so each thinks that the other is uninterested.


Hey if I found out my recent crush was secretly obsessed with me, it would make my heart melt. But i'd also be pretty regretful as well since she's leaving very soon and not coming back so I will probably never see her again.

Yes. Constantly. It was the bane of my existence in middle school. And high school. And college. In high school I had a huge, ridiculous, stupid crush on this one boy. I hated the fact that I had a crush on him. So I crushed on him in total secret for four years. When prom time came around, it turned out that he asked one of my friends if they thought I'd like to go to prom with him. My friend(who was a genuinely nice person) had no idea I liked him, and told my crush not to ask me to prom because she didn't think I'd say yes. It was the worst thing ever. Ever. I exaggerate not.

I agree. Like you sir, Ihave had alot of trouble talking to the opposite sex(ive seen your previous posts and youve seen a lot of mine).

I've actually had a lot of crushes where I was too shy to even say a single word tothem or even if I did failed to effectively express my feelings towards her.You never know really if someone else might do it back to you.

Just recently I had this one crush where Ispoke to her a little bit aboutinterests and listened well to her but never got beyond that.

These two other girls as well but they areboth unavailable they are friends with my friend and she said one ofthem likes a different guy already while the other "it is guaranteed" she doesn't want a relationship with anyone because a lot of guys have already liked her in the past few months and she's rejected every single one ofthem.

I've had a very small/slightcrush/mild feelings for this girl for 10 WEEKS (around 3 months now) but never truly showed it. Same with many, many others.

The advice to take from this is to talk to other people, look out for the signs (especially in the shy types).

If someone of the opposite sex shows some interest in you, even if she's justbeing friendly or an acquaintance saying good morning,talk tothemmore to try and figure out how they feel about you and what they want fromyou.

You could make some very good friends thisway as well, of course.

It's possible this one girl had a crush on me early in the year. She was in a younger grade so we rarely spoke or had the chance to and also pretty sure she was an aspie/autistic herself due to her lack of social skills and oddness for some reason whenever we would walk past eachothershe'd freak out in some way looking like she was panicking therewas this one awkward exchangewhere she literally just....i dont know really it all put me off at how strange itall was.

i recall she said 'hello' or 'hi' once in an awkward way but other than that it seems she was incapable of saying a single word to me.

She knows my friends so maybe i can ask about it to them.

And, to answer the question, yes, I have experienced this as well.

A few times.

But there was one time where I also KNEW she had feelings for me and i had feelings for her, but was simply too shy...

This was in the 8th grade. She was a very creepy and crazy girl, the stalker type. But I still liked her back, I LOVE the crazy types, but I was too shy.

Funny enough SHE pursued ME, and I found it her too intimidating to really respond with my feelings back. She sure was aggressive...

Everybody has had this happen. Literally everybody.

Nah