Some very basic dating tips
Sweetleaf
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I commented on your post, not on any other information. The attitude you have in your post, quite frankly, is unattractive. I know you're not gay, and you're not my type anyways, but from a potential partner perspective: I would not consider dating you. You're negative, blame others for your problems, whine about the realities of the world instead of rising to the challenge to be a better you and get what you want out of life & be happy.
Also, here's another bit of info: I couldn't care less how much or how little money a guy makes so long as he's at least working, sustaining himself, and either making forward and upward progress or at least working towards it. I'll make my own money. I don't need his. It'd be nice if he had some so I'm not obligated to be a provider, but I couldn't care less about trying to increase my wealth via connecting with a rich guy. It's more about the match in so MANY other ways besides money.. and in this day and age of women earning their own money, I bet it's pretty similar for a lot of females out there.
Fat ugly women may fantasize about some alpha cowboy, but they're highly unlikely to attract one & will likely date some joe-average guy. In fact, this happens every day. It's obvious by the fact that there aren't Billions of alpha cowboys out there to match up with every average/below average woman - yet many of these women are in relationships.. with regular guys.
Anyways, who cares what these hypothetical masses of women think they deserve. What is it about YOU that makes YOU deserve a woman in your life? Do the hard work required to become a more attractive guy (attitude, physical fitness, job, finances etc) and then you'll have earned the ability to attract someone. It really is that simple. All you have to do is never give up on yourself and just keep working hard & smart.
what you a gay man looks for and what a straight woman looks for isn't the same. men dont' usually care about their partners wealth, so wouldn't expect you to. I see just about every woman on dating sites do though.
gee golly good thing I'm not trying to pick up dates on this support forum. I am a bit negative maybe its because no matter how hard I try and no matter what I do I will never bee good enough. the world just constantly s**ts on me.
I don't blame others for all my problems just the ones they cause. most my dating problems stem from women's sky high requirements that are just ridiculous.
yep that's why there's a s**t ton of them single on dating sites asking for perfect guys, its because they are in relationships o.O. makes perfect sense

so all guys have to look like george clooney to get dates? all of men have to be thin twigs. f**k those guys with different body types.
so for the guys that never make over 20 an hour the guys who make 10-15 an hour? we just never earn the ability?
really love shouldn't be earned. it should be mutually given. its not something you can buy , earing sounds like buying. I earn money I earn experience. you don't earn love.
That's true, women likely don't look for the same thing in a partner as gay men do - not entirely, anyways. Even though many women work and earn their own money now, they're still biologically programmed to seek out a protector & provider of a mate due to evolution.
How you do anything is how you do everything. If you're negative and complaining here, even if you don't verbalize those things in real life.. your attitude and energy will convey your thoughts and pessimism. Then try something different/new. It's only your perspective that the whole world s**ts on you. It doesn't. The whole world is busy doing it's thing completely independently from you. The world doesn't have time or energy to spend on you. You do. Change your thoughts & perspective and the whole world will seem like a lot better place.
Your dating problems don't stem from women's "sky high requirements." Take some personal responsibility. Your problems stem from you and your thoughts/emotions/perspective/pessimism/attitude etc. You can't change others, but you can change yourself.
Of course women on dating sites are asking for their ideal mate. Why would they write a dating profile that sells themselves short by asking for a less than ideal mate?
Now you're just being ridiculous. Very few men look like George Clooney, yet literally BILLIONS of men get dates every week. I've also seen plenty of fat guys with girlfriends... ie your average American, for instance. It's not likely your body type that's most unappealing to women, but rather, your mindset & attitude. Sure, people have their types (I do) & might not date someone based on body type, but for those who are willing to accept an out of shape guy - or are even attracted to them - it's your attitude that will prevent you from getting a date, not your body.
You've been told repeatedly by more than just me that money isn't everything. It sure helps, though. If you feel earning $20/hour will make you feel attractive enough to others to get a date, then set a goal of increasing your economic worth to $20+/hour and do whatever it takes to get there. #'s are arbitrary and location relevant. $20/hr is OK money here where wages are low, but women seeking high status high income guys here where houses cost $1M+ aren't seeking an hourly wage earner at all.. more like $ix Figure$ (equivalent to at least $50/hr) bare minimum, which is fairly difficult to obtain.
The world is competitive - for sex and love, too. The whole "free love" hippie concept just isn't very popular. People earn others' affection & attention by making themselves worthy of it.. by being the bigger better faster stronger healthier wealthier alpha male. Sure, you may never become The Top Dog in your neck of the woods, but you CAN become better than you are by working hard on yourself, your body, your mind, your finances etc. People who have "better" bodies/minds/paying jobs/bank balances/cars etc have them because they've earned them bit by bit by working hard for them every single day. They weren't all just handed physical fitness, health, optimism, money etc. They obtain them via hard work - which is how they earn the attention of others and become attractive to them. It's really not overly complicated stuff here.
There are actually people that largely have a lot of things handed to them without working hard for it or earning it. I went to highschool with a bunch of spoiled kids who all had cars by the age of 16 that their parents where paying for or helping with...some of them had little part time jobs in town, which by the way was very cliquish if you weren't a popular kid you didn't have much chance of getting a nice after school part time job, I was lucky enough to get one for a little while...certainly no car though. Point is yes plenty of people born in upper middle class and higher economic classes often do have easier access to many things without having had to toil for it and work up a sweat doing honest hard work for. Many people may be attracted to status and being 'better' than the next person as far as how many possessions they have, what car they drive, how big their house is and all that stupid stuff....but that isn't all people, a great many people are much more down to earth.
I doubt the problems the poster you're responding to are all entirely and completely their fault all due to their attitude and simply changing it will magically turn their life around....its not uncommon to run into obstacles and situations that make life harder that really are not ones fault...or due to their way of looking at it or attitude. You're not unintelligent and even have some knowledge on ways to be more healthy...but you do have a problem of sitting atop a high horse and getting way to personal with your judgements of people. If someone complains about something on a forum it hardly means the are negative about everything else in their life so it appears you are reaching a little far...and for why just to rip on someone. Seems you could learn the meaning of live and let live....fine to offer your perspective but getting pushy and even mean about it isn't necessary.
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Sweetleaf
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Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 35
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I commented on your post, not on any other information. The attitude you have in your post, quite frankly, is unattractive. I know you're not gay, and you're not my type anyways, but from a potential partner perspective: I would not consider dating you. You're negative, blame others for your problems, whine about the realities of the world instead of rising to the challenge to be a better you and get what you want out of life & be happy.
Also, here's another bit of info: I couldn't care less how much or how little money a guy makes so long as he's at least working, sustaining himself, and either making forward and upward progress or at least working towards it. I'll make my own money. I don't need his. It'd be nice if he had some so I'm not obligated to be a provider, but I couldn't care less about trying to increase my wealth via connecting with a rich guy. It's more about the match in so MANY other ways besides money.. and in this day and age of women earning their own money, I bet it's pretty similar for a lot of females out there.
Fat ugly women may fantasize about some alpha cowboy, but they're highly unlikely to attract one & will likely date some joe-average guy. In fact, this happens every day. It's obvious by the fact that there aren't Billions of alpha cowboys out there to match up with every average/below average woman - yet many of these women are in relationships.. with regular guys.
Anyways, who cares what these hypothetical masses of women think they deserve. What is it about YOU that makes YOU deserve a woman in your life? Do the hard work required to become a more attractive guy (attitude, physical fitness, job, finances etc) and then you'll have earned the ability to attract someone. It really is that simple. All you have to do is never give up on yourself and just keep working hard & smart.
what you a gay man looks for and what a straight woman looks for isn't the same. men dont' usually care about their partners wealth, so wouldn't expect you to. I see just about every woman on dating sites do though.
gee golly good thing I'm not trying to pick up dates on this support forum. I am a bit negative maybe its because no matter how hard I try and no matter what I do I will never bee good enough. the world just constantly s**ts on me.
I don't blame others for all my problems just the ones they cause. most my dating problems stem from women's sky high requirements that are just ridiculous.
yep that's why there's a s**t ton of them single on dating sites asking for perfect guys, its because they are in relationships o.O. makes perfect sense

so all guys have to look like george clooney to get dates? all of men have to be thin twigs. f**k those guys with different body types.
so for the guys that never make over 20 an hour the guys who make 10-15 an hour? we just never earn the ability?
really love shouldn't be earned. it should be mutually given. its not something you can buy , earing sounds like buying. I earn money I earn experience. you don't earn love.
That's true, women likely don't look for the same thing in a partner as gay men do - not entirely, anyways. Even though many women work and earn their own money now, they're still biologically programmed to seek out a protector & provider of a mate due to evolution.
How you do anything is how you do everything. If you're negative and complaining here, even if you don't verbalize those things in real life.. your attitude and energy will convey your thoughts and pessimism. Then try something different/new. It's only your perspective that the whole world s**ts on you. It doesn't. The whole world is busy doing it's thing completely independently from you. The world doesn't have time or energy to spend on you. You do. Change your thoughts & perspective and the whole world will seem like a lot better place.
Your dating problems don't stem from women's "sky high requirements." Take some personal responsibility. Your problems stem from you and your thoughts/emotions/perspective/pessimism/attitude etc. You can't change others, but you can change yourself.
Of course women on dating sites are asking for their ideal mate. Why would they write a dating profile that sells themselves short by asking for a less than ideal mate?
Now you're just being ridiculous. Very few men look like George Clooney, yet literally BILLIONS of men get dates every week. I've also seen plenty of fat guys with girlfriends... ie your average American, for instance. It's not likely your body type that's most unappealing to women, but rather, your mindset & attitude. Sure, people have their types (I do) & might not date someone based on body type, but for those who are willing to accept an out of shape guy - or are even attracted to them - it's your attitude that will prevent you from getting a date, not your body.
You've been told repeatedly by more than just me that money isn't everything. It sure helps, though. If you feel earning $20/hour will make you feel attractive enough to others to get a date, then set a goal of increasing your economic worth to $20+/hour and do whatever it takes to get there. #'s are arbitrary and location relevant. $20/hr is OK money here where wages are low, but women seeking high status high income guys here where houses cost $1M+ aren't seeking an hourly wage earner at all.. more like $ix Figure$ (equivalent to at least $50/hr) bare minimum, which is fairly difficult to obtain.
The world is competitive - for sex and love, too. The whole "free love" hippie concept just isn't very popular. People earn others' affection & attention by making themselves worthy of it.. by being the bigger better faster stronger healthier wealthier alpha male. Sure, you may never become The Top Dog in your neck of the woods, but you CAN become better than you are by working hard on yourself, your body, your mind, your finances etc. People who have "better" bodies/minds/paying jobs/bank balances/cars etc have them because they've earned them bit by bit by working hard for them every single day. They weren't all just handed physical fitness, health, optimism, money etc. They obtain them via hard work - which is how they earn the attention of others and become attractive to them. It's really not overly complicated stuff here.
There are actually people that largely have a lot of things handed to them without working hard for it or earning it. I went to highschool with a bunch of spoiled kids who all had cars by the age of 16 that their parents where paying for or helping with...some of them had little part time jobs in town, which by the way was very cliquish if you weren't a popular kid you didn't have much chance of getting a nice after school part time job, I was lucky enough to get one for a little while...certainly no car though. Point is yes plenty of people born in upper middle class and higher economic classes often do have easier access to many things without having had to toil for it and work up a sweat doing honest hard work for. Many people may be attracted to status and being 'better' than the next person as far as how many possessions they have, what car they drive, how big their house is and all that stupid stuff....but that isn't all people, a great many people are much more down to earth.
I doubt the problems the poster you're responding to are all entirely and completely their fault all due to their attitude and simply changing it will magically turn their life around....its not uncommon to run into obstacles and situations that make life harder that really are not ones fault...or due to their way of looking at it or attitude. You're not unintelligent and even have some knowledge on ways to be more healthy...but you do have a problem of sitting atop a high horse and getting way to personal with your judgements of people. If someone complains about something on a forum it hardly means the are negative about everything else in their life so it appears you are reaching a little far...and for why just to rip on someone. Seems you could learn the meaning of live and let live....fine to offer your perspective but getting pushy and even mean about it isn't necessary.
Modern society is competitive, too competitive in my opinion....and one does not have to be the best 'alpha male' to get affection...free. Not everyone cares about being the top dog and winning the pissing contest, the 'free love' hippie concept is likely more popular than you think....maybe just not within your socio-economic class. I hear lots of stories of friends acquaintances having sex and/or more long term relationships and a large majority of them are anything but 'well off' financially though there are a few who associate with the circle I do who are more well off....but the down to earth, not flaunt it in your face types. If I lived in a more snobby area I doubt I'd be saying the same things about the people I'd be exposed to....location can be a major factor in dating. If one is in an area where they stick out like a sore thumb/don't fit in that can effect dating chances even if they did develop a positive/optimistic attitude which would not be entirely their fault. Not everyone is living somewhere they want to....or has the option to just uproot and move somewhere better.
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Sweetleaf
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What do you think needs to change about it?
As for your last thought.. I mean, there are cultures that do arranged marriages and such - but even that is a competitive process where people are assessed by all the same metrics as dating.. appearance, social status, occupation, financial position, friends/family/association, education etc etc etc. I really don't think it's realistic to expect dating/mating to deviate from the natural norm of competition & the survival of the fittest. Ever.
women are in charge, women demand higher and higher goals. fewer men can meet those goes.
idk women could love and see men for men and not how much they make or what car they drive. you know treat each other as human beings instead of cattle. but that'd be crazy.
but yet even in those places poor people still get arranged with other poor people. because they still want the poor to reproduce and keep the family line going. so its likely i'd been married off if just for the sake of caring on family lines and reproduction the labor force. the west has shipped its labor overseas so the rich don't care about reproducing the labor force here anymore. in fact they'd rather they all just die off.
whatever though atleast I can see tons of women remain single. helps knowing that when I die and set myself free they'll remain and suffer under their own making.
funny how its ok to say that about men who only want to date models, that they made their own s**t, yet women who only want highly paid men somewhere are entitled to them just for being born with a vagina. I find this double standard anoying and truly sexist. women deserve love and whatever they want, guys don't and should die or man up. really would a mass extinction be so bad? the human race is so worthless as a total. I wish for a nuclear war to end it all.
Women are in charge? Yes and no. Sure, they can withhold sex.. but if you're a Man, you can obtain sex from another female by attracting them and having them compete for you. Women are in charge if you're unable to attract them.
All animal species' females are attracted to the alpha male/best mate/biggest/strongest/fastest/best looking etc etc why would you expect humans to be any different? Money & material possessions (and physical appearance/strength etc) have evolved in human society to be the indicators of the Alpha to women. Become that man, obtain those things, get what you want. Work for it. Earn it. Or, do as you've always done and get as you've always got.
Women do treat men as human beings.. and notice which ones are more attractive than the other vs. treating them like cattle which are pretty much all treated the same... well, with the exception of breeding bulls - even farmers know to breed their biggest, best, & strongest livestock. Humans/cattle/other animals.. we're all selective about breeding and for sound biological reasoning of wanting to carry on the best possible bloodlines. Hell, we do the same thing with plants we breed, too.
So go reproduce with a poor person if that's your objective. No one's stopping you but you.
Who cares what other people are doing? If they're single, partnered, happy or unhappy with their relationship status etc. Really, who cares? None of those people matter one bit towards your own happiness and life situation. Do as you want for yourself and be happy. None of those other people are influencing your thoughts, emotions, actions, relationship status etc - you are 100% in control of all of those factors, including how attractive you are to others. You acknowledge that people with better physical fitness have an easier time with getting dates, and people with more money/material wealth etc yet you say you're uninterested in doing any of those things or changing/improving yourself to obtain what you want.. do you see the cycle of ridiculousness here? Do what you want to with your time, but don't complain about the results you're getting if you're unwilling to do anything differently in order to get something more and better out of life.
Women aren't entitled to high status males just for being born with a vagina. Not by a long shot. There's a HUGE range of quality of women just like there are men. The women getting high status guys are typically considered beautiful/attractive first and foremost - that's Not all women. Second they probably have a lot more going for them, too, like intelligence, personality, health, fitness.. and maybe they work damned hard on their goals/dreams/careers/passions etc too. Just because someone is born female doesn't guarantee them the high life on some high status male's dime. Not by a long shot. Only the cream of the crop are chosen to live the good life.. the rest are just average people like everyone else.
Women don't automatically deserve love. They've got to be loveable. Crazy b*****s can remain single crazy cat ladies or something. Kind affectionate women find love in return for what they put out there into the universe.
You are right though, men really do need to man up or die. (die as in not reproduce their family blood line, not die as in suicide.) It's the way of the world. Survival of the fittest. Always has been and always will be that way. The sooner you accept & embrace it, and man up, the better time you're going to have enjoying the fruits of your labour vs. being bitter and angry that you don't have a girlfriend because you're not willing to improve your own health/wealth/status and so on. In the competitive reality of the world we live in, what makes you think you deserve to have a woman of your choosing without having to do the hard work required to make yourself attractive to women?
Lol what you are referring to is psuedo-survival of the fittest having a bunch of money...and a clean cut appearance doesn't make one the 'fittest'. Survival of the fittest is in nature...and has to do with whatever beings have the most durable genetics to keep on reproducing that is all....having more money and high social status has no bearing on what genetics are strong enough to survive and keep being passed on. Also more often than not currently speaking...people don't exactly choose their amount of wealth, its not so easy to just up and improve your wealth to be more attractive....as is people can work harder and harder and still not see their wealth improve. Of course its possible to let opportunities pass by...but there is no guarantee one will even run into such opportunies. I mean consider people in third world countries who go into the city in hopes of making a better lives for themselves that still end up dying on the streets due to malnutrition, starvation, over-exuastion and/or any diseases, sicknesses they might get no matter how hard they work to make a living. That is a rather extreme example for this thread but the point is...people who struggle financially or aren't exactly well off aren't all there because they simply choose not to 'better' them-self.
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goldfish21
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It's not a modern society thing. Society has always been competitive. No, one doesn't have to be the best "alpha male" but being the best one you can be doesn't hurt your chances of winning any.
Sure, there are "free love" hippie types out there. That's why I suggested socializing with them. And just what socio-economic class is it that you think I belong to? Newsflash: I'm working class poor. Including tips and side job income, I earn approximately an average income for my locale. Maybe a bit below average. I wear $2 thrift store t-shirts and drive a beat up 1990 Honda Civic with 472,500 kms on the clock. I don't waste money so have accumulated a bit of savings and am not paycheque to paycheque and don't have any debts - but that's all post-bankruptcy ~1.5 years ago. I rent a room from family in the suburbs. I'm not flat broke, but I'm certainly no well off.. yet - I'm working on that part.
You aren't a tree. If you don't like where you live, move. If it's someone's goal to relocate, especially in Canada/America, they can achieve that goal even if it takes them a while to save up enough money to pay for moving costs. I don't recall anyone in this thread saying they didn't like where they lived, though, so I'm not sure why it's relevant.
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goldfish21
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That's exactly what I'm referring to - survival of the fittest. I disagree. It's been my experience and observation that the healthiest, biggest, best, fastest, strongest etc = wealthiest, highest status etc.
People can improve themselves and in turn their earnings capacity. Especially here in Canada/America. We're not living in the third world with limited resources and opportunities. We're living in very wealthy countries with resources and opportunities in abundance.
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goldfish21
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That's exactly what I'm referring to - survival of the fittest. I disagree. It's been my experience and observation that the healthiest, biggest, best, fastest, strongest etc = wealthiest, highest status etc.
People can improve themselves and in turn their earnings capacity. Especially here in Canada/America. We're not living in the third world with limited resources and opportunities. We're living in very wealthy countries with resources and opportunities in abundance.
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Sweetleaf
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It's not a modern society thing. Society has always been competitive. No, one doesn't have to be the best "alpha male" but being the best one you can be doesn't hurt your chances of winning any.
Sure, there are "free love" hippie types out there. That's why I suggested socializing with them. And just what socio-economic class is it that you think I belong to? Newsflash: I'm working class poor. Including tips and side job income, I earn approximately an average income for my locale. Maybe a bit below average. I wear $2 thrift store t-shirts and drive a beat up 1990 Honda Civic with 472,500 kms on the clock. I don't waste money so have accumulated a bit of savings and am not paycheque to paycheque and don't have any debts - but that's all post-bankruptcy ~1.5 years ago. I rent a room from family in the suburbs. I'm not flat broke, but I'm certainly no well off.. yet - I'm working on that part.
You aren't a tree. If you don't like where you live, move. If it's someone's goal to relocate, especially in Canada/America, they can achieve that goal even if it takes them a while to save up enough money to pay for moving costs. I don't recall anyone in this thread saying they didn't like where they lived, though, so I'm not sure why it's relevant.
Society isn't just a singular thing...there have been multiple societies throughout history, societies change....then of course you always have the people that don't quite fit in with the norms who form things like sub-cultures which are also more or less societies of their own. Many societies have been and are highly competitive, not all societies value it as much as a lot of americans seem to. Sure competition is nothing new...but its probably not a good thing regular life like getting a job or having anything in life is compared to swimming in a shark tank and not getting eaten...because someone better will come along to oust you from your job or station in life. Cooperation isn't all bad you know...and perhaps society would be better off if that was valued a bit more...of course competition isn't all bad either but when the goal of simply being better than everyone else and having more than someone else regardless of who you might step on or how unethical certain things you may have to do are its a problem.
I am not much into the society can never change/improve mindset...to conservative for me, I think it is good to complain about problems in society it shows one is thinking about it, then the next step can be changing things or attempting to influence change. Of course it is good for people to work on themselves and improve themselves in healthy ways....but it doesn't mean people should always just change themselves if things aren't going well, sometimes it's the society or environment that really needs changing.
Also I suppose I mean the socio-economic class you seem to try kinda hard to emulate the attitude of...which seems to be the snobbish upper middle class, at least that is what you sound like whenever you post a tangent on dating and why you think someone isn't able to find a girlfriend...or rip someone a new one for complaining about their financial situation and or lack of job or being unable to find one. There are people who do that in my family and it can be bothersome...they aren't bloody rich high class snobs but sometimes take on that attitude at least my moms side. Also there is a good chance no matter how much you might work on becoming well off you'll never get there...that is a reality for many people, not to say its impossible but with current statistical odds there is a good chance it wont happen.
And I never suggested we're trees, but obviously moving costs money....for one and there are plenty of other barriers one could face as well. Or for people unable to move out of their parents house yet, that can be limiting. I mean even I would like to move...not far since I like the general area but my options are room with a family member or other room-mate or find subsidized housing I qualify for with my SSI which most of that has waiting lists either way it seems its going to be a while. If I wanted to move say out of state though I'd be screwed, there is no way I could swing that...my entire support network what little of one I have is here in this state, some states are a lot worse about disability payments, EBT and such like so wouldn't want to risk too much changes for that. Moving is typically much, much harder done than talked about. And what was more relevent was the area someone is in can effect dating chances depending on the main sorts of people....not sure anyone explicitly said they didn't like their area, but that could be a factor.
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goldfish21
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I'm not snobbish, nor upper middle class. I clean tables for the upper middle class ffs. However, I do intend to make myself wealthier over time - but that's called having goals/ambition etc & certainly not something I'm going to apologize for.
When I comment about why someone isn't able to find a girlfriend it's simply my thoughts on it. I'm not an authority figure on why someone is single and don't pretend to be - but I call things like I see them, and sometimes others don't agree with me. That's fine. Doesn't change my opinions any.
I used to be broker than broke - way in debt - and living in my friend's construction site for a year and a half. But I couldn't accept that temporary situation as my permanent situation and have busted my ass working hard to change it. Due to my own experiences in life, I encourage others to work hard to achieve their goals vs. waste time complaining about their situation.. which ironically worsens one's situation vs. improves it as they so desire.
I used to be unemployed & virtually unemployable. Now I turn down job offers I don't want. People can change themselves and their situation with the sheer will and determination to do so. I know first hand because I've done it & practice what I preach.
Maybe that's just your perception of your mother's relatives and they truly do mean well with their commentary. For instance, you're ripping on me for suggesting others work hard, improve themselves, their health/wealth/fitness etc in order to have a better quality of life for themselves because you perceive me as being "snobbish" or "arrogant" which brings me to an interesting point: This is why he upper middle class often don't like to talk about money at all with anyone over lower status than themselves. Envy. And it's due to that envy that the lower class doesn't gain the knowledge that the wealthy have in the socio-economic divide continues to expand exponentially. Myself, I'm dirt poor compared to some of the people I'm around every day - but I appreciate being in their presence to learn from them in order to better myself and my own position in life vs. hate on them for being multi multi multi millionaires that drive Ferraris and all that. I park my 472,500km 1990 Honda Civic next to their Ferraris/Porsches, shut my mouth & do my job around them - absorbing everything I can about who they are and what makes them tick.
F statistical odds. Don't be a statistic. Be yourself. Bust your ass. Earn what you Want by doing what you Need to. Or don't, do as you've always done and get as you've always got. It's your life to live. Me? I choose to be happy and healthy and pursue increased wealth and abundance because life is just better that way.
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They most certainly can. In fact, women do most of the "playing", but they don't "play" for sex.
So, is it "survival of the fittest" or can any guy really find a girlfriend so long as he really tries hard. I mean, I know calling out feminists for inconsistency is like calling out dogs for licking their own balls, but still, make up your mind already.

I'd just like to comment on this, if you don't mind; those "free love" communities he's talking about are pretty much BS. I know personal anecdotes don't count for much, and I certainly never accept them in plce of actual arguments or evidence, so take this with a grain of salt but I actually know a guy who sought out one of these communities exactly for this very same reason: he couldn't find a willing sex partner in regular society and hoped these people would help him "break out of his shell".
What he very quickly found out once he got there was that, for all their talk about "free love", things there weren't really any different from the way they are here; a few top/Alpha males got pretty much all the women and all the sex, and the rest of them were essentially just a servant caste. He even met a guy who'd been there for a half a year and still hadn't gotten any, the poor bastard...
So, yeah, it's a total con. There's no such thing as "free love". Love is a commodity, just like sex. And like sex, it's a commodity sold primarily by women, and bought primarily by men.
Goldfish, you are a good testament and success story to how circumstances can change depending on your mindset and level of persistence. The past doesn't define us but the future and how we choose to respond to these obstacles we face.
Good to see you have succeeded against the odds and obstacles.
I browse this forum from time to time and your posts are very uplifting. Some people will try to keep you down by placing chains on your wrists but to hell with doubt, keep it up.
However, the fact of the matter is that a lot of men are being excluded from the mating process altogether simply because they can't "measure up". Now, truth to be told, this is not exactly a new thing, it's been happening for a long time now. But ever since the female emancipation, the number of men finding themselves in this situation has been rising non-stop. Simply put, the bar for men has been set too high, and they keep raising it higher and higher every day.
This is a problem because, as I mentioned in the other thread, happiness for most men comes from women and sex. When most men realize that these two things just aren't accessible to them, they become depressed and lethargic, essentially a burden on society. And some will even lash out violently. Don't think that a large group of sexually frustrated men doesn't have the power to destroy a civilization. In fact, it's what destroyed most civilizations throughout History.
But surely happiness comes from a number of sources regardless of one's gender. Obviously I would like to be with a woman, but there are many things I enjoy such as reading, friendship, my interests... I actually find clichés that we are only interested in sexual intercourse quite annoying. And how would it be mature of me to use my feeling frustrated about being single as an excuse for violence? You may be right to be concerned though. I worry about some of the values that seem to be poisoning some people's minds; some young men would appear to have quite dangerously misogynistic attitudes to women.
_________________
You are like children playing in the market-place saying, "We piped for you and you would not dance, we wailed a dirge for you and you would not weep."
Imaging if gays, blacks, women, the founding fathers, etc had all followd that advice.
dating can be more fair and not trying to change it will make sure it stays unfair.
ranting on dating sites wont' do it though and I suppose its more in women's hands to change it then mens. still I think it needs to change is it is just a a super slow pace. I think kids 100 years from now will have a more balanced dating. or they'll be assigned partners based on the government's analysis of efficiency. either way it'll be easier.
Good point; if we resign ourselves to things being the way they are, nothing will ever change.
_________________
You are like children playing in the market-place saying, "We piped for you and you would not dance, we wailed a dirge for you and you would not weep."
goldfish21
Veteran

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
They most certainly can. In fact, women do most of the "playing", but they don't "play" for sex.
So, is it "survival of the fittest" or can any guy really find a girlfriend so long as he really tries hard. I mean, I know calling out feminists for inconsistency is like calling out dogs for licking their own balls, but still, make up your mind already.

1.) Yes, some women play guys for sex. Again, just because you're not being pursued for sex doesn't mean women aren't pursuing other guys to get laid.
2.) How are these things different or mutually exclusive? Consistently persistently trying hard = becoming fitter in every way = becoming more attractive to potential mates. It's not rocket surgery stuff we're dealing with here.. I'm not sure why you seem to be having a difficult time grasping the concept.
_________________
No

goldfish21
Veteran

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Goldfish, you are a good testament and success story to how circumstances can change depending on your mindset and level of persistence. The past doesn't define us but the future and how we choose to respond to these obstacles we face.
Good to see you have succeeded against the odds and obstacles.
I browse this forum from time to time and your posts are very uplifting. Some people will try to keep you down by placing chains on your wrists but to hell with doubt, keep it up.
Thank you!

I'm going nowhere but up/forward/onward to bigger better things all the time.

The thing is, I don't have any secrets to my successes to date. I've shared everything here very transparently and continue to offer to do so to anyone who'd like to know. Long story short, I've figured out what causes AS & how to successfully treat it via natural medicinal means and I'm living a second, much better, life for it. Anyone else is welcome to try what I've done for myself and profoundly change their life for the better. All they have to do is decide to.
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No

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