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Shadowbound
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15 May 2007, 10:43 pm

calandale wrote:
Shadowbound wrote:
You ladies should try dating me :o :P with being Aspie my self I have a lot more empathy so nothing you would do would come across strange. We could both be strange together. lol So no worries. :D


Wow. Some strange new breed?

I have a great deal of empathy as well,
but I've learned to be cold.


When I say a lot more empathy I mean than non Aspies and I'm sure that's were the problem lies. Not being understood so fear of making a fool of ones self. I know I have the same fear.



calandale
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15 May 2007, 10:53 pm

My understanding was that aspies tend
to be LESS empathetic, in general.



Shadowbound
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15 May 2007, 10:58 pm

calandale wrote:
My understanding was that aspies tend
to be LESS empathetic, in general.


Aspie knows how it effects them so may understand the situation an other Aspie may be in or how they feel a bit better I would have thought. I'm Aspie and I do think I have some empathy. So has far as Aspies have zero empathy I don't believe that.



calandale
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15 May 2007, 11:04 pm

People seem to think it comes
across that way. I don't buy it
either, but I KNOW that I have a
certain disconnect where it comes
to those that I don't care about.

Especially the people who seem to
epitomize all that I see wrong in the
world - which happens to be the vast
majority of humanity.



geek
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15 May 2007, 11:19 pm

Being married to an aspie girl myself, I don't understand why it should seem impossible. Heck, I'd consider marrying another one if they allowed that sort of thing in western countries.



calandale
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16 May 2007, 1:30 am

geek wrote:
Being married to an aspie girl myself, I don't understand why it should seem impossible. Heck, I'd consider marrying another one if they allowed that sort of thing in western countries.


:shameonyou:

Leave a couple for me.



beautifulspam
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16 May 2007, 8:18 am

Quote:
But the same can be said of guys who want the super hotty even though they may not even be up to that league. However I have found out that usually the pretty girls have the most trouble landing a guy that they "want".


Nonsense. How often have you heard men complain that "all the good ones are taken?"



Ragtime
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16 May 2007, 8:58 am

OMGpenguin wrote:
Danielismyname wrote:
What about Auties who don’t talk, and only show their overt emotion like an "animal"? :?


Well, I'd bet money on such people managing to find someone who was very happy to have that. Wink There's a decent match for everyone.


A woman who doesn't talk? Hmmm, interesting....... :lol:

But seriously, I don't "disqualify" potential girlfriends easily, so if I met a really nice girl who happened to be a nonverbal autie, I might still give it a try. That is to say, I would give it a try, even though that try might end fairly quickly. But you never know...


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mizkathy
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16 May 2007, 9:55 am

Yes I have a boyfriend and I know another aspie girl in really life who has one.



xKilling_Lonelinessx
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16 May 2007, 10:26 am

I have to say yes, it's possible. It's very hard though. I just got my first boyfriend in four years yesterday.


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TechnoMonk
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16 May 2007, 11:01 am

calandale wrote:
My understanding was that aspies tend
to be LESS empathetic, in general.


That's simply because I don't empathise with people I don't understand. I don't understand most people.



Babtor24
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16 May 2007, 8:51 pm

beautifulspam wrote:
Quote:
But the same can be said of guys who want the super hotty even though they may not even be up to that league. However I have found out that usually the pretty girls have the most trouble landing a guy that they "want".


Nonsense. How often have you heard men complain that "all the good ones are taken?"


More times than I care to have listened to it. But often times these people, men, are trying to find the same ideal that women try to find in a man who is perfect.

Someone along the line these people are going to have to realize people are not perfect and to take them as they are and not everyone is going to find the perfect other.



Quirky_Girl72
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16 May 2007, 9:37 pm

It is very possible. Until the last year or so, I have been in relationship after relationship. However, I ended up realizing that my exs were screwed-up in one way or another as well. In addition, the ones who were NT, I ended up purposely pushing them away, since I figured something most be seriously wrong w/them for wanting to be w/ me. However, I had been on several internet dates w/ absolutely no luck. I felt that the guys I would have let taken me on a second date, could not take my quirks (i.e. blunt, too honest, klutzy, etc...). Anyway, I think I gave up too soon, if one goes on enough dates, one will find that person who gets them. Just keep persisting and putting yourself out there.


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LePetitPrince
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17 May 2007, 9:00 am

I have the same prob of yours hale bopp...can't get a gf.

But this just ONE of my many concerns and not on the top of the list.



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17 May 2007, 10:22 am

shadexiii wrote:
nothing at all is better than getting used.


I so agree with this. I've had both online and local relationships where I was either used (not in the sense of the other getting any, but other means) or they were just complete nutjobs.

Whoever said 'Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all' deserves a crack across the skull with an aluminum bat. <_<



blacktext
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17 May 2007, 8:18 pm

Women can afford to be picky because men aren't. If men were more picky than we could reach a dating equilibrium. But that is a fantasy that will never happen.

A woman that can't get a boyfriend is a rare situation. Most guys are so desperate for sexual opportunities they will generally overlook all kinds of personal faults if they find a woman even remotely attractive. However, some women do fall through the cracks. Nothing in life is 100%.

I would imagine that most women that cannot get a boyfriend will have a combination of things working against them - they'll have a tendency to reject potential mates; an extreme lack of social opportunities; most likely are physically unattractive; and their behavior will somehow turn men off.