Bar vs. Library

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I have always thought that improving my chances at finding the woman I love would work out well by going to places like bars, where people are always talkative. This is turning out to be a big mistake. I'm finding that the girls there are "wild" and I would never be able to keep up with them. They have so much going on in their lives (have kids, exes, other broken road burdens, DRAMA), that I wouldn't work out with them.

I'm staring to think that I'm looking for love in the wrong places.

It has been suggested to me over my past posts on here that I look more toward "intellectual" places, such as libraries, museums, and professional settings. I don't talk much, don't do much, don't understand much - just drifting between my journalism job and my gas station job. I feel my specified interest level - of high school sports - is too narrow to use to my advantage (trust me, there is no one around me).

I've got a job in my career field.
I've got a roof over my head.
I've got a motor vehicle.
I've got money in the bank, and never have to worry about living paycheck-to-paycheck.
About the only thing missing in my life is that constant companion.

I know that I shouldn't let the one thing overshadow the rest of the accomplished things I have in my life, but the void of love is really killing me. My social skils are fading fast. I don't know what to do.

Bar

Social Circles

Random places

Maybe, a female sports journalist. Do you live in a big city?

I honestly don't think that libraries, coffee shops, or any of those types of places are good places to meet people. A library is specifically designed to discourage conversation, and most women there aren't going to be open to it if you try.

As much flak as it gets, I find online dating to be a really good way to meet people. It has its drawbacks, but it does serve its purpose.

why not both? http://www.buzzfeed.com/chelseypippin/l ... gt5VOprx4v

You should go to lectures or academic symposia (especially if they don't charge a fee).

If your primary interest is something in the sciences or applied sciences, you could go to lectures sponsored by universities/colleges

I don't know about you, but *I* go to the library to research stuff for work or to borrow books to read in me spare time -- so I tend not to be very chatty there.

In my experience, pretty much all the adults I know sometimes go to bars/clubs -- not just the "wild" people. Ruling out all women who happen to be in bars as "too wild" is something you're entitled to do, but I doesn't make much sense if you're looking for a partner.

The suggestion to try to meet girls that share your interests in places that girls who share your interests hang out in is, however, an excellent idea.

Have you considered:
1. Joining a book club - women who like books participate in them, plus, they usually meet regularly (like once a month), so you can get to know them gradually over time. Even if there are no single girls in the book club you join, the folks you meet will broaden your social circle.., and maybe someone has a sister/cousin/friend/granddaughter they can introduce you to.

2. More laid-back bar (not a club) -- a quieter bar that caters to a less partying crowd might work better for you. Weekly pub trivia nights (where folks get assigned to teams), pubs that do board game nights, etc. would be better bets for finding girls who share your interests.

3. If there's a museum/gallery/science center in your town and you're interested in dinos/art/meteorites, they of ten have guest lecturers in the evenings -- another good place to meet folks who share your interests.

(I used to live in Manhattan and the Natural History Museum had a near-weekly live jazz night with tapas. The music was broadcast on some NPR stTion and it was an excellent place to meet fellow space nerds).

4. Colleges/universities often have evening guest speakers -- cheap or free, another way to meet girls who share your interests.

I've always found it easier and way less intimidating approaching girls in the bars after a few drinks vs. girls in more uptight places doing things like studying in the library or something... all sober and serious. Maybe if I had some knowledge or interest in the museum's or art or anything like that, but I don't. I do know however that I like to drink and that's one hell of an easy icebreaker....I think it's the easiest place/way to break the ice with someone new, by far.

I go to the library as my daily routine to do my work and study, and sometimes I spot attractive guys there, and the reason why they look attractive is they immerse themselves completely in their own process with their mouths closed. Personally nerdy quiet loners look way more attractive than guys who try to talk in the library.