may i be the most hopeless romantic

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thank you very much for the advice but i think what has happend with us is that we have just gotten through the
honeymoon part of our relationship...we had our first REAL fight from which i was actually mad as well and now she has calmed down and knows now that she can no longer walk over me....all my passiveness was overcome when i was presented with either taking it with a grain of salt or telling her what her problem is...to a point i think i may have just figued out a part of the NT game regading Nice guys.....when someone is too nice to you no matter how much you love them it can get kind of irratatiing and mundane...after thinking about it myself i could see the trail of hardships which we had as paths which she had tested me by pushing my emotions to make me feel as insecure as she felt...that sounds horrible typing this but because she was honest with me about it i feel much better about not trying so hard to please and being completely honest even if it hurts ...dare i say we may have just become comfotable with each other...i did warn her though if she were to ever play games with my heart i would leave her and not loose any sleep (not true, i wouldnt sleep for a week) but yeah i think were coming around...were taking it slow now but only time will tell....

Perhaps lying is not such a hot idea.
I'm thinking that if she takes those
words at face value, she's going
to think that you really don't give
a s**t. Hell, maybe that's ok, but
I know that my lovers always seemed
to like that I cared.

I was reading through some of the stuff written here and have to say I am mildly confused at what is going on.It started out with being too clingy,then went to anger,and then to despair.I was not there so I'm looking at a limited picture,but the overall message seemed to stand out.I don't see an ability to regulate your emotions.And rather than her hurting you,you hurt her.If you want to spend the rest of your life with someone,that's great.But practice moderation and restraint.I've been told that I wear my heart on my sleeve.It took some practice,but I'm better at keeping some emotions to myself.Remember,everyone has a different perception on what is what.You mentioned something about being angry and lashing out at her to let her know how angry you are?(I just read through the messages one time and I'm paraphrasing)She more than likely will not see it that way,although you do.Keep that in mind.I didn't notice,but do you see a counselor?It might be helpful for you and the co-dependant issues.I see a counselor,so don't take that or any of this as a personal attack.It also appears you might be reading into things that are not there or some missinterpretation is going on.Example: a blue ball roles down the street and pops,but you might see a green stick of dynamite that explodes.It can't all be her fault.She has her own feelings,thoughts,ideas,preferences,and desires.Remember that.The best advice from me would be stop the games.Be 100% honest with her and explain to her your thoughts and motives and LIMIT your emotions.Example: Don't make her have to"guess" why you are yelling at her.I doubt she see's it the same way that you do.Also,I would strongly advise against sexual relationship advice from your mom.Good luck-

yeah i think what happened was that i never showed anger towards her...or lost my cool until that day...not to make an excuse for it but it needed to come out...she even told me that i was starting to be too nice...im not saying that i dont have co dependant issues, or emotional ones on that note, but for once in my life i really want to truly be myself with someone and i feel weird when i am not...

i do know i can be overbearing sometimes and therefore i am trying to work through my emotions completely before i start blabbering along some self rightious slurs about what needs to be done in our relationship...i think our relationship has a long way to go before forever can be mentioned again....the honneymoon has ended and yet i still feel the same about her...