What percentage of aspies end up marrying or in LTRs?

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What is your age, sex and relationship status?
I'm male, < 40 and single 51%  51%  [ 37 ]
I'm male, => 40 and single 8%  8%  [ 6 ]
I'm male, < less 40 and in an LTR 8%  8%  [ 6 ]
I'm male, => 40 and in an LTR 7%  7%  [ 5 ]
I'm female, < 40 and single 8%  8%  [ 6 ]
I'm female, => 40 and single 4%  4%  [ 3 ]
I'm female, < less 40 and in an LTR 11%  11%  [ 8 ]
I'm female, => 40 and in an LTR 3%  3%  [ 2 ]
Total votes : 73

sorrowfairiewhisper
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03 Sep 2015, 7:53 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
:jester:
sorrowfairiewhisper wrote:
I'm 25 yrs old, female , single and never met the right guy
older I get, less likely marriage is going to happen.

Never been in a long term relationship and tbh gone past caring

Dedicating my life to my hobbies and interests and spirituality and just making the most of my remaining life.
Thank you for sharing. I just want to point out to the guys on L&D who say guys have it harder and girls can get a boyfriend any time they want, this is further evidence that this is not the case. Finding a partner is challenging for both sexes.


Thank you and agree, both sexes find the whole dating game differcult



Ecomatt91
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03 Sep 2015, 10:06 pm

I am 25 year old aspie male. I have lot of NT friends, especially females. They are in between 19 and 29 year old. They mostly friends at my university and as well in wider community. Though, most of them are single and it is influence of 'finding the right person' kind of situation. So aspie males are not alone in this case. I never had a relationship before, despite my friends do but they do not want one now because they are focusing on their own life (uni, career development, young age etc etc). But they don't go do silly things like both sexes do in alcoholic environments. Of course they drink, but they are strong hearts.

Over past two weeks I learned so much about my friends. I realised that being an aspie male doesn't have own problems. i am not alone on having problems. My friends, who are NT they do have their own problems too. Anxiety, depression, obsessions, trust and that etc. Its a common sense thing. I have this male NT friend. He get drunk but doesn't get women. He love women, but he doesn't want to take advantage of them.

So it seems after all every friends shared with me is that relationship and sex is not overly important at this stage of life. Unlike in reality mainstream world where media portrays it, it is not true. So I have trust and belief in my friends because they developed understanding with me.



trayder
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03 Sep 2015, 10:21 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
:jester:
sorrowfairiewhisper wrote:
I'm 25 yrs old, female , single and never met the right guy
older I get, less likely marriage is going to happen.

Never been in a long term relationship and tbh gone past caring

Dedicating my life to my hobbies and interests and spirituality and just making the most of my remaining life.
Thank you for sharing. I just want to point out to the guys on L&D who say guys have it harder and girls can get a boyfriend any time they want, this is further evidence that this is not the case. Finding a partner is challenging for both sexes.


Finding a partner has never been an issue for me. Its the bs that goes with relationships. No planning...just hoofing it till problems hit. And if you dont kowtow, the dramas get dramatic. Seems kinda suckie that all we seem to be here to do is pair, mate and have kids...then die.



314pe
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04 Sep 2015, 1:19 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Thank you for sharing. I just want to point out to the guys on L&D who say guys have it harder and girls can get a boyfriend any time they want, this is further evidence that this is not the case. Finding a partner is challenging for both sexes.

Yeah, but does that mean that fractions of married/in LTR vs single aspies for both genders are roughly the same?



sorrowfairiewhisper
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04 Sep 2015, 9:20 am

Even though we aspies find it differ cult to interact with people. It does goes to show that whether or not your female or male. NT or aspie, some people have a hard time either finding a potential mate or we're not destined to meet the "one" and although I only have a few people in my life, I've realised on here that many people have had or are in a successful long term relationship so it has shown me that people with Asperger's don't necessary have that struggle not always anyway. I agree with he statements above, a lot of NT have struggles with forming relationships or meeting people too.



Jacoby
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04 Sep 2015, 9:38 am

Single, probably will stay single. Like at this point it's hard to imagine getting into any sort of relationship, guess its hard when you don't like yourself because if you don't probably no one will. I can't imagine any normal person would ever want to deal with my issues, who wants to carry that baggage and its not like I'm some engineer or anything. I'm nothing, I'm 24 going to community college having panic attacks. What do people do that is suppose to be interesting? I feel boring, I feel bored, its honestly pretty unbearable just sitting doing nothing sometimes but what am I suppose to do? I dunno, it's just feels hopeless sometimes. I'm jealous of people who can lose themselves completely in these special interests, I don't even really like mine.



RetroGamer87
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04 Sep 2015, 9:58 am

314pe wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Thank you for sharing. I just want to point out to the guys on L&D who say guys have it harder and girls can get a boyfriend any time they want, this is further evidence that this is not the case. Finding a partner is challenging for both sexes.
Yeah, but does that mean that fractions of married/in LTR vs single aspies for both genders are roughly the same?
I don't see why it should.


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ProfessorJohn
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04 Sep 2015, 11:16 am

Ecomatt91 wrote:
So it seems after all every friends shared with me is that relationship and sex is not overly important at this stage of life. Unlike in reality mainstream world where media portrays it, it is not true. So I have trust and belief in my friends because they developed understanding with me.


It doesn't seem that way for much of the world. That is the prime time people do date, get into relationships, have sex, get married. If it wasn't that important at that stage, most people wouldn't be doing it then.



adoylelb90815
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04 Sep 2015, 1:02 pm

I'm going to be 40 in a couple of months, and I'm in a LTR, and we've been discussing marriage at this point. I'm also a divorcee which he doesn't mind at all. I'm diagnosed, but I think my S/O has traits of Asperger's, but he's never been diagnosed.



Ecomatt91
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04 Sep 2015, 5:19 pm

ProfessorJohn wrote:
Ecomatt91 wrote:
So it seems after all every friends shared with me is that relationship and sex is not overly important at this stage of life. Unlike in reality mainstream world where media portrays it, it is not true. So I have trust and belief in my friends because they developed understanding with me.


It doesn't seem that way for much of the world. That is the prime time people do date, get into relationships, have sex, get married. If it wasn't that important at that stage, most people wouldn't be doing it then.


I do understand it seems like that way, but to be honest the world is getting later these days. We aspies think we are taking longer time of finding someone. Well, the NTs does as well. Majority of my friends are single and don't have sex. I don't know what they are doing for their lives, but it who they are. They have struggles like us aspies too.

Please don't make aspies appears to be a bigger problem. There is no big problems in reality. It just people that have alcohol and drugs issues do have big problems. It not that single vs. in relationship kind of people. We are all on same boat. My sister, she is married and have a kid. She is 27. Her friends that I knew for long time, they are mostly single too. Lot of older postgrads in one of my classes who are like late 20s or early 30s, they are unmarried and doesn't have someone.

I do know I want to have a relationship and that kind of experiences. BUT this is exactly same feeling for NTs too! My friends told me that they don't worry about 'awww I can't find a special guy' and that etc. They are being positive of themselves to know it will happen. They kept saying a same for my case too. My friends also told me that they are sensitive to relationships and sex. They don't talk about it.

So do aspies get married and being in LTR in a same way for NTs? I am going to say this, YES. Everyone in the world, no matter who you are is in same situation. I met aspies who shag women at young age, compared to me I never had sex and also being an aspie. I met a NT friend who doesn't have sex, compared to her friend do have sex.

My point here is that, a human being of all same capabilities experiences same issues. Anxiety, depression, shyness, relationship issues and so on. Whether aspies or NT. It is all a same. Though I do feel that I am extremely challenged by my lack of skills, but I am confident because recently my friends has developed confidence in me by understanding who I am. They are looking PAST my disabilities (also hearing impaired). So, everything will be fine. Don't make the world go by numbers, or what you see over the internet. The numbers are not true because it does not survey the entire 7billion people of the world.



yellowtamarin
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05 Sep 2015, 7:51 pm

By "single" do you mean anything other than a LTR? There would be aspies in short-term relationships, new relationships, or other types of relationships that I can't think of right now.

I don't fit into any of the categories you gave, but I'd be hesitant to state I'm in a LTR for your poll anyway, because that still wouldn't mean I have "ended up" that way. A relationship can last 20 years then end. Even a marriage doesn't necessarily mean forever. I think perhaps what you meant to ask was how many aspies are with the partner they believe (or hope) they will spend the rest of their lives with?



CoffinCrawler
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06 Sep 2015, 2:55 pm

Whoops. I voted for the wrong option on your poll. I meant to vote "Female < less 40 and single".



Jbert95
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06 Sep 2015, 3:13 pm

I'm afraid of relationships I think. It just scares me. I don't want to be single, but women are hard to understand. Its almost like a cruel game and I don't know the rules. When one does get interested in me, I stop wanting to date them. I don't understand it.



RetroGamer87
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06 Sep 2015, 4:31 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
I think perhaps what you meant to ask was how many aspies are with the partner they believe (or hope) they will spend the rest of their lives with?
Yeah, that's what I meant. I didn't want to add too many categories. In my way of thinking, if I've been dating a girl for a week, I'm going to continue dating her so it's the first week of an LTR. It may be ending soon but I never see it coming. At any given time I'm usually planing it to be an LTR, therefor, I think I'm in the early stage of an LTR.

In practice it may end soon and I realize that not everyone thinks the same way I do. They may not count their chickens 'till they've hatched or they may not want it to last more than a short time.


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sorrowfairiewhisper
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22 Nov 2015, 5:27 pm

I do understand it seems like that way, but to be honest the world is getting later these days. We aspies think we are taking longer time of finding someone. Well, the NTs does as well. Majority of my friends are single and don't have sex. I don't know what they are doing for their lives, but it who they are. They have struggles like us aspies too.

Please don't make aspies appears to be a bigger problem. There is no big problems in reality. It just people that have alcohol and drugs issues do have big problems. It not that single vs. in relationship kind of people. We are all on same boat. My sister, she is married and have a kid. She is 27. Her friends that I knew for long time, they are mostly single too. Lot of older postgrads in one of my classes who are like late 20s or early 30s, they are unmarried and doesn't have someone.

I do know I want to have a relationship and that kind of experiences. BUT this is exactly same feeling for NTs too! My friends told me that they don't worry about 'awww I can't find a special guy' and that etc. They are being positive of themselves to know it will happen. They kept saying a same for my case too. My friends also told me that they are sensitive to relationships and sex. They don't talk about it.

So do aspies get married and being in LTR in a same way for NTs? I am going to say this, YES. Everyone in the world, no matter who you are is in same situation. I met aspies who shag women at young age, compared to me I never had sex and also being an aspie. I met a NT friend who doesn't have sex, compared to her friend do have sex.

My point here is that, a human being of all same capabilities experiences same issues. Anxiety, depression, shyness, relationship issues and so on. Whether aspies or NT. It is all a same. Though I do feel that I am extremely challenged by my lack of skills, but I am confident because recently my friends has developed confidence in me by understanding who I am. They are looking PAST my disabilities (also hearing impaired). So, everything will be fine. Don't make the world go by numbers, or what you see over the internet. The numbers are not true because it does not survey the entire 7billion people of the world.[/quote]

well said!
i'd guess people with aspergers seem to think that we are the only ones with problems trying to form relationships because of our issues with communication and expressing ourselves but you're right! many struggles that we have, a lot of NT have as well. Theirs nothing wrong with meeting people later in life I'd guess, at least people can firstly focus on their educations and careers. Also delaying motherhood isn't always a bad thing, their can be risks but many women have healthy babies in their 30's and 40's and I think one of the main reasons, people used to rush into relationships at a younger age, was because they wanted to start a family whilst they can.



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23 Nov 2015, 1:47 pm

I'm a 37 year old male and have never dated anyone.