Ever been in Limerence?

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Sounds like what I went through recently:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence

Based on the obsessive thoughts and the socially awkward behavior towards the Limerence object, it might be pretty common for Asperger's to have experienced this at least once.

On many occasions!

Starting when I was in junior high.

Sometimes, I still feel remnants of Limerance.

I really believe this is common amongst Humanity at large.

This is where we get love songs.

I felt that very strongly with my 1st two girlfriends who I also loved & a celebrity I had a mega huge crush on & also fell in love with. I didn't feel that with my current girlfriend thou & think some of it is because of the medication I'm taking for my OCD.

I can't remember if I felt this with my wife when I first met her. I think I probably did. I wish I could feel it again for her. I love her very much, but just don't seem to have the obsessive quality to it any more. Maybe we have become too familiar.

Kraftie-I would be surprised if there was something romance related that you hadn't experienced! Seems you have done it all!

Yes, I sure have. Seems like most everybody else has too.

I don't think that's a bad thing. Crushes or limerence thrives on an element of fantasy and the unknown.

Open ended relationships entail some blind flying so to speak but I think this only comes up enough to get in the way of daily life when the person I'm thinking about is worth the consideration anyway. A while ago when I saw threads like this it was basically everybody stigmatizing these situations brooding over what seemed "creepy". I don't see why this has to mean objectifying anybody either, it's just everyday stuff we all might be thinking about.

I'm glad to see nobody's pretending the worst thing to obsess over is caring about someone One person usually obsesses over another because they're worthwhile, not because of idealizing them as some ultimate prize. Ambitions don't just mean dealing in absolutes.

I think that is correct. Once you get to know the person and see some of the less desirable or less compatible qualities they have, the fantasy kind of goes away. It is cool to know that someone I love has also loved me (as best as I can tell) for 16 years now, and the compatibility has remained, for the most part.

This is just normal human stuff, really.

I think the problem for a lot of us is we can't get out of the limerance stage and turn things into a real relationships. The object of affection is always out of reach, always a fantasy, never reciprocating our interest/affection.

Limerance sucks

That is probably true, and might be what really leads to Limerence. If you did get into a relationship with the person, then the fantasy might go away because you would see what they are really like, and the negative sides of them. As I mentioned before, I can't recall if I went through this stage with my wife before we really got together. Things did go fast afterwards as we were engaged a little more than 3 months after our first date.

I am starting to fantasize about her more recently. That is a good thing!

For most of high school, although I think I actually wanted to be friends with him, and I chose to interpret it as a crush because I wanted to feel like I was having a normal experience. I only thought about hanging out and joking around with him like friends would, and playing music together, but I was very fixated on him and very upset that I couldn't figure out how to "make him" interested in me. He was a very funny, creative person, but I don't think we had enough in common to be good friends.