Top 10 Reasons You Can't Get A Girlfriend

Post Reply New Topic

Heres the real list of why men arent attracted to women

1. Great Anxiety - Seriously, people not just women run from this. They'll tolerate anger, but anxiety and they are running far and wide away.

2. Lack of confidence - alot of women dont want a guy always down on himself

3. Lack of social skills - Got this one right, its hard to be with someone you cant establish a solid communication path with

4. Creepy - If you act all creepy, alot of women will get turned off



I've found it really has not much to do with looks or money or anything. I've seen women pass me up for some of the most ugliest, stupidest, sleeziest NT men just because Im 'different' because I don't act normal or i had a bad day and wasnt confident.

I agree with phantom. Personally, I think it is BS when family and online resources tell you that ASD is a "gift". This thread touches off on one of the biggest reasons ASD can completely ruin someone's life who has ambitions and goals such as starting a family or something, especially when the individuals condition doesn't give them any applicable advantage over an NT. I'm not trying to sound negative, but it's true. It frustrates me knowing that people think that being different is going to get you far, maybe, but not in our screwed up society..

So are you saying that if I was a somewhat unattractive man (for the sake of argument), that if I approached an attractive woman she would get offended and reject me immediately, and thus feel bad about herself for being somewhat low-value? Or are you talking about extreme unattractiveness?

There's ugly mofos out there who can get a girlfriend, yes even an attractive girlfriend. They just have something that most guys don't have. A s**t load of confidence and kick-ass social skills around women. Sometimes simply not being afraid to talk to the girl you like and being the friendly charming guy you're pretending to be is enough to impress her.

It's no secret formula.


Phantom out

Definitely true, and something I always try to explain. The sad fact is you can be an attractive, intelligent and interesting aspie guy. Very eligible and you'll ALWAYS be at a disadvantage compared to NT guys even those extremely unattractive and stupid NTs solely because of the social skills problem.

When it comes down to it, that's pretty much all many woman look at.

No, see, that I don't buy. Attractive people will always have an advantage over unattractive. Like I've said before, the main problem of most guys here isn't that they have Aspergers, it's that they're physically unattractive. Aspergers just compounds that problem.

If I was given the choice between being a physically-attractive Aspie and an unattractive NT, I'd go for the former. In a heartbeat. Believe me when I say there's virtually no character flaw people won't overlook if you're attractive enough.

So I'm ugly too on top of this disability? I guess I really was cursed at birth. Thanks for making us feel better.

I don't know, are you? Look, I'll be honest, if were highly-attractive, you probably wouldn't be suffering all that much due to your Aspergers. I don't know if this makes you feel better, but ugly people will always suffer no matter what. Regardless of whether they're Aspies or NTs.

Apparently I guess, that is what you are saying isn't it? Do you have to look like Jared Leto or Brad Pitt to considered attractive on any level tho? I thought there was a lot in between being a male model and some unlovable Quasimodo.

It's true though that many of my fellow autistic brothers and
sisters would be considered physically unattractive. You are more likely to be ugly compared to the neurotypical population. Combine that with autistic symptoms, no wonder many of us fly through our 20s without any sort of relationship. Which is sad because many of us just wanna f**k!

That shod be a new hit sjngle
I just wanna f**k!

lol someone should make a song called "I just wanna f**k!"

That will be Justin Biebers new hit single.

^^This. While negativity can be very hard to avoid, especially when unlucky in love, consider the following.

Let us say that all men and all women are 'NT' and have appropriate social skills. The chance of initiation a relationship in a given period is 50% and the probability of continuing is 100%. These are CLEARLY over-estimations, but please bear with me.

Start at time 0. Half are in relationships, half are not
At time 1, 3/4 are in relationships. At time 2, 7/8.

There is nothing wrong with the other eighth in my scenario, they simply flipped unluckily several times in a row. If we drop the percentages to a more realistic level (say 30% initiation rate per year) then after eleven years 2% of perfectly eligible people haven't gotten a 'yes' exclusively because of chance. While it is worthwhile to consider how to improve yourself, don't neglect the fact that there is a possibility that you are fine and simply experiencing terrible luck.

Top 10 reasons why you can't get a girlfriend:
1. You're an aspie.
2. You're an aspie.
3. You're an aspie.
4. You're an aspie.
5. You're an aspie.
6. You're an aspie.
7. You're an aspie.
8. You're an aspie.
9. You're an aspie.
10. You're an aspie.

I propose an idea:
The only true reason that creates all these other reasons is that you don't have enough other-love and self-love and don't have anything to base your self-esteem in relation to others on so you value yourself as equal or less than others. It doesn't really matter what it is exactly, although it would help if other people could appreciate your "talent" too.

Example: You're very smart and love yourself and others enough
You're confident in your smarts, because this is your thing, your talent.
Other people can see this talent and are maybe impressed by it. But you also love them and try to change the subject when they want to put you in the spotlight for it.
You're not scared to speak to other people with confidence and independence because you know what it feels like from your talent, you have yourself and your life under control, nothing can shake that confidence, it's your personal truism. You take pride in how others see you so you take showers, wear clothes that fit you and spend some time in the bathroom before leaving the house because it's not appropriate for you to disrespect your cleanliness.

Basically all the good things are based on how much you respect yourself and others and if you have a good source of self-esteem, so that you can use it in areas where you aren't confident.
It seems to me that people who can get lots of dates can either emulate these things well enough to blind the other person for a while or actually have them.

Dunno, bullcrap? IMO confidence isn't conditional but having a talent still helps a lot.
I think it makes sense.

I think you have this around the wrong way. By your logic, Aspies are far more prone to being dealt ugly genetics than NTs. Percentage wise, I'd argue there are far more Aspie guys who reach higher ages without romantic success than there are NTs. Physical attractiveness isn't all about your body and facial features. The reason Aspies aren't successful in love is because of shortcomings in physicality, body language and social skills.

Sure, your genetic make-up will play its role, but the way you carry yourself and interact with others will always have a MASSIVE impact on your attractiveness, just as your style, hygiene and attitude will too.

The common denominator here between Aspies, is Asperger's Syndrome, so putting two and two together, it's easy to see that Asperger's Syndrome is more to blame for romantic shortcomings than physical features.

I partly agree, sir.

But what I also want to bring up is how some people can find a relationship even if they have what is generally considered by society to be less than attractive qualities. Physically and personality-wise.

We see some aspies here that are confident, social, outgoing, good social skills, hygiene, well-educated and decent looking, independent, etc. and yet they can't find relationships (case in point: Ecomatt).

I am considered by many others I know to be a very confident and social aspie with good social skills. I'm considered funny by my peers and always trying to meet people and make new friends. I'm not ugly at all, consider myself a 6.5 and gotten anywhere from 6 to 7.5 from others. 5ft9'' and I workout so my body looks decent.

But still definitely not satisfied with my social life. I still have too few friends and have a hard time getting a girlfriend and finding love.

Now, I am just a teenager, which relates to what my argument will be.

And that is I have found that maybe the majority of people in a society/culture also just have 'poor taste', in that they desire qualities that in any reasonable minded person's opinion shouldn't be considered attractive.

Now, everyone has different taste and it's very rude to judge others for their tastes, but I think you know what i mean.

This is especially true in high school, where naive teenagers might have 'immature' tastes in that they are shallow and only care about looks, and place things like popularity and perceived 'coolness' over traits that really 'should' be appreciated such as kindness, honesty, compassion, etc.

But I definitely think in my humble opinion this can carry on into adulthood.

It's just strange how many people who are rude, poorly behaved, smart-alecs, poorly hygiened, etc. can still find it effortless to make friends and relationships while those of us who might only be slightly awkward but still trying find it difficult.

I'm not trying to be one of those victimizing, 'it's all society's fault' types. I'd say our inability to get along with others is partly influenced by both.

Society's social rules, expectations and conformity which means those that might be different in a good way are still looked down on and shunned by the majority, and the certain behaviors that most of us can agree that even aspies should adapt to fit into their world and society.