Interested in a guy on the spectrum, advice?

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Hey guys, I am interested in a coworker who I am pretty sure is somewhere on the autism spectrum. Im an NT. I'm almost positive he likes me too, but I don't think he's going to be the one to ask me out, so I am wondering how I should do this. I've never initiated anything, and I would like some advice from the perspective of someone on the spectrum. I don't even have a real question about what I should be doing. Any advice you guys have, just throw it at me. Anything that is specific to someone with aspergers/autism? I am shy though, so keep that in mind. He tends to walk by me a lot but he avoids eye contact, so I'm not sure how I should get his attention.

Last edited by Unknowableme on 24 Sep 2015, 10:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Forget the typical NT mindset as best as you can. Be as direct as possible without innuendo or suggestion. There's not a signal you can send on Earth that'll make him initiate with you. Even if he notices, he'll likely confuse the gesture, and even if he doesn't, he'll likely second guess himself "no, that couldn't be a signal

Hi, would you like to go on a date with me? Straight forward and blunt. Just expect the same back. Like almost always. Maybe ask him to help you with something to get his one on one attention and in the course of whetever it is you need help with, just drop the straightforward question. If he runs away it doesn't mean no. More likely a yes but OMG she asked me out I gotta run and evaluate...

Thank you, I wasn't sure if I should be so direct, it's actually makes it easier for me.

Thread from a while back that deals with similar issue:

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=293986&view=next

Simple yet perfectly stated. This sounds like me in my teens and most of my 20s. Unless a girl flat out asked for a date (they never did) I simply had NO IDEA anyone was interested in me.

Neither did I. There are times when I made the plunge; other times, I shied away from it.

I, usually, could not tell if a person was interested in me. I used to, frequently, discern romantic intentions when only friendly intentions existed.

Yep...being direct is usually the best approach.

Just don't put him on the spot where others can see/hear, he might (will) assume you are joking.
'luring' him to a private area is a good idea (the pretense that you need help with something should be enough).

Normally i don't recommend little white lies against aspies, but this is an exeption.
try to get him alone naturally (shouldn't be too hard, aspies aren't known to always be surrounded by people), but the lure should be good if the first option is hard where you work

Or simply wait until there is something he could help you with that would present a window where you both are alone, and ask him then. White lie averted.

If an Aspie decided he wants to be alone because he considers no one could be in a relationship with him for long (even though I insisted I could!) and does not feel he could deal with another break-up, should I pursue him? Is there any way he could change his mind and is it a good idea insisting? (He does have feelings for me, though).

That's questionable. If you can do it without getting too involved in it, you might try it, but be prepared that it might fail.

Thank you. It is failing and I am too involved in it. I love him.