Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Romantic/Sexual Partners

Page 7 of 13 [ 194 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 ... 13  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,037
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

19 Oct 2015, 2:33 am

Spiderpig wrote:
Batting their eyelashes is a good way for women to break my illusion that I'm dealing with equals. To me, it means, "Unlike you, I am attractive and desirable as a partner. Don't even dream of interacting with me any more closely than strictly whatever external circumstances force me to tolerate, and bear in mind I can easily summon someone more than capable of beating the s**t out of you, and more than willing to chivalrously rid me of the nuisance you are. Watch out!".



Image



macandpea
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 69
Location: Australia

19 Oct 2015, 3:37 am

My partner and I were set up by mutual friends on a sports team. He is also AS and I am his first girlfriend



InsomniaGrl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Aug 2015
Posts: 856
Location: UK

19 Oct 2015, 5:38 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Spiderpig wrote:
Batting their eyelashes is a good way for women to break my illusion that I'm dealing with equals. To me, it means, "Unlike you, I am attractive and desirable as a partner. Don't even dream of interacting with me any more closely than strictly whatever external circumstances force me to tolerate, and bear in mind I can easily summon someone more than capable of beating the s**t out of you, and more than willing to chivalrously rid me of the nuisance you are. Watch out!".



Image


I do hope that comic strip has a happy ending?? :lol:


_________________
Nothing lasts but nothing is lost


captain mills
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 19 Oct 2015
Posts: 55

19 Oct 2015, 5:54 am

I met my partner at a yoga class. We are both aspies (although neither officially diagnosed as far as I know).



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,037
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

19 Oct 2015, 5:54 am

^ "It" looks hungry.



Drawyer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 May 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,860
Location: Away

19 Oct 2015, 6:00 am

That thingy looks wearing a transformed Kaonashi costume.


_________________
"Embrace the glorious mess that you are."


Kuraudo777
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Sep 2015
Posts: 14,743
Location: Seventh Heaven

19 Oct 2015, 9:56 am

That's exactly how my own anxiety is!


_________________
Quote:
A memory is something that has to be consciously recalled, right? That's why sometimes it can be mistaken and a different thing. But it's different from a memory locked deep within your heart. Words aren't the only way to tell someone how you feel.” Tifa Lockheart, Final Fantasy VII


Neotenous Nordic
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 11 Oct 2015
Age: 1937
Posts: 275

19 Oct 2015, 10:56 am

I have two past relationships, and both lasted about a year.

The first girl, I met at work at that time. We just talked and hit it off really well so we started hanging out and things just happened from there I guess.

The second girl, I met through mutual friends/interests. She was more shy, but she was so cute and exactly my type of girl so I made my intentions pretty clear from the beginning and she liked me. This relationship was "hotter" than the previous one, so to speak. It ended in disaster though.

Since then I have been celibate, and it's been over half a decade now without me bothering to attract a woman because the last relationship messed me up and I guess I'm not the guy to just toss away someone after using them which seems like how things are nowadays. You get tired of a person and then it's no problem tossing them away like dirty socks. That's how I felt when the last relationship ended. Like some thing you just toss away after you had enough.

I don't do casual sex, because I see no point in that when there is no emotional connection. My experiences with women taken into account, I am too suspicious and paranoid to connect with one anyway so that means the casual sex would just be using her body to get off.
I can accomplish the same thing by jacking off so that leaves no incetive to go get laid.

So I don't bother with women, unless I find that exceptional one who is not cynical, a user, a psychopath etcetra... but for some reason I never cross paths with those women and I can't be bothered to make an effort to look for them either.

I guess I'm just apathetic to the whole thing. I have a whole bunch of interests that keep me entertained, so I'm good :)



QuantumChemist
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Oct 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,009
Location: Midwest

19 Oct 2015, 12:27 pm

I have no romantic/sexual partners, nor any from the past to deal with. That is a form of freedom that few enjoy at my age. I do socialize with people at certain events, just not very often (couple times a year at best). Most of my spare time is spent working on my research projects.



Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,856
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

19 Oct 2015, 12:46 pm

InsomniaGrl wrote:
Yeah i think it can be the tip of the iceberg. i have seen many girls get involved with guys who don't have much money though, and not just young girls. I guess it has a lot to do with the expectations and desires of the woman, not all woman want to settle down and have children, or live a wealthy lifestyle. Not that the wealthy lifestyle wouldn't be nice necessarily, but how a woman feels about a guy who doesn't have much money may be more important. Or she may be earning a decent wage and have something on her mind other than a trophy husband provider guy.
I'm still really not disagreeing about the role money often plays though, just saying.


Money plays a big role for a lot of people...but not everyone. I am in a relationship with a guy who doesn't make much money regardless of working full time and I am on SSI, he lives with a couple who certainly aren't 'well off' either and they are pretty cool. I think all of us would laugh at the prospect of a wealthy lifestyle....But of course I doubt wealthy people would want to date poor people. I woman with some high end job who is fairly wealthy probably isn't going to date a guy who's on SSI, Unemployed, or working but still struggling I won't say it would never happen but typically it won't.

And as far as I can tell most wealthier guys certainly aren't into impoverished metalhead girls, I'd honestly be a little suspicious of a very wealthy person wanting to date and 'provide for' someone like me...I would be afraid of being exploited/abused somehow also I would not fit in with that demographic at all even if their intentions really were sinceare.


_________________
We won't go back.


InsomniaGrl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Aug 2015
Posts: 856
Location: UK

19 Oct 2015, 1:00 pm

QuantumChemist wrote:
I have no romantic/sexual partners, nor any from the past to deal with. That is a form of freedom that few enjoy at my age. I do socialize with people at certain events, just not very often (couple times a year at best). Most of my spare time is spent working on my research projects.


Sounds like that could be bliss, if you have passionate interests.


_________________
Nothing lasts but nothing is lost


Kuraudo777
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Sep 2015
Posts: 14,743
Location: Seventh Heaven

19 Oct 2015, 1:03 pm

I have loads of passionate interests, but I've been wishing for a soulmate for a long time because of how lonely I am.
I am glad that I have so many new friends on this forum, which helps me a great deal every day.


_________________
Quote:
A memory is something that has to be consciously recalled, right? That's why sometimes it can be mistaken and a different thing. But it's different from a memory locked deep within your heart. Words aren't the only way to tell someone how you feel.” Tifa Lockheart, Final Fantasy VII


Phemto
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

Joined: 7 Sep 2015
Posts: 217
Location: Gaitherburg MD

19 Oct 2015, 1:14 pm

InsomniaGrl wrote:
QuantumChemist wrote:
I have no romantic/sexual partners, nor any from the past to deal with. That is a form of freedom that few enjoy at my age. I do socialize with people at certain events, just not very often (couple times a year at best). Most of my spare time is spent working on my research projects.


Sounds like that could be bliss, if you have passionate interests.


That does sound great if you can be happy with it. I think some of us are wired more or less strongly to the need to be paired is some way. I've always envied those who could just relax and enjoy their singular eigenstate.



QuantumChemist
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Oct 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,009
Location: Midwest

19 Oct 2015, 2:02 pm

Phemto wrote:
InsomniaGrl wrote:
QuantumChemist wrote:
I have no romantic/sexual partners, nor any from the past to deal with. That is a form of freedom that few enjoy at my age. I do socialize with people at certain events, just not very often (couple times a year at best). Most of my spare time is spent working on my research projects.


Sounds like that could be bliss, if you have passionate interests.


That does sound great if you can be happy with it. I think some of us are wired more or less strongly to the need to be paired is some way. I've always envied those who could just relax and enjoy their singular eigenstate.


Yes, it is quite peaceful at this eigenstate. Most people would not like it though. They cannot understand why it is good to be alone if they were constantly with another person. The few times I occasionally get lonely is during holidays that revolve around relationships (like Feb. 14). During those times, I try to preoccupy my mind as much as I can with my special interests so that I do not think about it.



MissMistopholes
Butterfly
Butterfly

Joined: 19 Oct 2015
Age: 43
Posts: 9

19 Oct 2015, 2:59 pm

Neotenous Nordic wrote:
I have two past relationships, and both lasted about a year.

The first girl, I met at work at that time. We just talked and hit it off really well so we started hanging out and things just happened from there I guess.

The second girl, I met through mutual friends/interests. She was more shy, but she was so cute and exactly my type of girl so I made my intentions pretty clear from the beginning and she liked me. This relationship was "hotter" than the previous one, so to speak. It ended in disaster though.

Since then I have been celibate, and it's been over half a decade now without me bothering to attract a woman because the last relationship messed me up and I guess I'm not the guy to just toss away someone after using them which seems like how things are nowadays. You get tired of a person and then it's no problem tossing them away like dirty socks. That's how I felt when the last relationship ended. Like some thing you just toss away after you had enough.

I don't do casual sex, because I see no point in that when there is no emotional connection. My experiences with women taken into account, I am too suspicious and paranoid to connect with one anyway so that means the casual sex would just be using her body to get off.
I can accomplish the same thing by jacking off so that leaves no incetive to go get laid.

So I don't bother with women, unless I find that exceptional one who is not cynical, a user, a psychopath etcetra... but for some reason I never cross paths with those women and I can't be bothered to make an effort to look for them either.

I guess I'm just apathetic to the whole thing. I have a whole bunch of interests that keep me entertained, so I'm good :)


Or you accept that dating is the process by which you find a mate, which necessarily involves the risk of getting broken up with. The alternative is remaining single forever.

Just because someone decides you weren't compatible long-term doesn't mean they tossed you away like worn out socks.



RubyTates
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: 10 Sep 2015
Age: 36
Posts: 183
Location: Los Angeles, Ca

19 Oct 2015, 4:09 pm

Kuraudo777 wrote:
I hope soulmates exist, because then maybe I won't be so lonely. I have low self-esteem and am rather insecure as well. Have you ever read any Clamp manga, RubyTates? A lot of their characters dream of finding their 'special someone'.


No, I have not read any Clamp Manga. I think the reason that I become insecure sometimes is that I don't know how to manipulate romantic situations to my advantage like NT girls can. I never realized this, but there is a lot of cat-and-mouse manipulation in a relationship at the beginning and I often don't know how to hold on to someone because I am being honest and kind. I am trying to figure out the "flirting" game still, but I don't want to be seen as a tart or just an object that guys see as a conquest. So, I am still trying to work it all out......