The friendzone is an absurd concept
18 Oct 2015, 9:32 am
Neotenous Nordic wrote:
Being friends with women is not necessarily a bad thing.
The problem is when the man becomes an "orbiter" who the woman keeps stringing along where he hopes that he will some day get with her, and tries to court her in a wussy way by buying her stuff, showering her with compliments and acting all "nice" to her, and she sees that by reacting in certain ways, she can keep him doing favors for her without her having to get romantic with him. I.e she can dangle the carrot before his eyes and keep him walking on a treadmill without him ever getting to it.
Many women who do this will also complain about the men they're actually sleeping with, how those men are all a-holes, and how the person they are stringing along is such a nice man who will make a woman very happy one day to subtly motivate him to keep acting like a naive dunce and buy her stuff.
If you want to get in a relationship, you need to make your intentions clear from the get go, or you will get categorized. Once that has happened, it is difficult to move from that category to romance.
It's social dynamics like this which just makes me not get into trying to establish a relationship with women because I simply don't want to involve myself in this way of thinking.
I don't want to play a stupid game or be the one who is the most cynical emotional manipulator. If that is the price of getting in a relationship, then that relationship is abusive and fake. We all know what happens when you're being "nice" too so it's best just not to bother with it at all IMO.
I think it's f*****g funny though, now that I approach my 30s, to see women my age who have become single mothers or whose biological clock is ticking suddenly show interest in me.
You've seen the memes they post on facebook too, about how they used to be a party girl, but now they want a nice man. All of a sudden as they reach their mid to late 20s, they do a 180 turn. Strange.
The problem is when the man becomes an "orbiter" who the woman keeps stringing along where he hopes that he will some day get with her, and tries to court her in a wussy way by buying her stuff, showering her with compliments and acting all "nice" to her, and she sees that by reacting in certain ways, she can keep him doing favors for her without her having to get romantic with him. I.e she can dangle the carrot before his eyes and keep him walking on a treadmill without him ever getting to it.
Many women who do this will also complain about the men they're actually sleeping with, how those men are all a-holes, and how the person they are stringing along is such a nice man who will make a woman very happy one day to subtly motivate him to keep acting like a naive dunce and buy her stuff.
If you want to get in a relationship, you need to make your intentions clear from the get go, or you will get categorized. Once that has happened, it is difficult to move from that category to romance.
It's social dynamics like this which just makes me not get into trying to establish a relationship with women because I simply don't want to involve myself in this way of thinking.
I don't want to play a stupid game or be the one who is the most cynical emotional manipulator. If that is the price of getting in a relationship, then that relationship is abusive and fake. We all know what happens when you're being "nice" too so it's best just not to bother with it at all IMO.
I think it's f*****g funny though, now that I approach my 30s, to see women my age who have become single mothers or whose biological clock is ticking suddenly show interest in me.
You've seen the memes they post on facebook too, about how they used to be a party girl, but now they want a nice man. All of a sudden as they reach their mid to late 20s, they do a 180 turn. Strange.
If a girl you're friends with is taking advantage of you, tell her to stop and stop being friends with her if she doesn't. Duh.
You don't have to chase a perpetually dangling carrot if you don't want to. Free will and all.
And what's so wrong with being a bit of a party girl in your teens and early 20s? I was in college and grad school, I liked going out, it was a blast. Deciding you're ready to settle down or that a really hot guy (with no other redeeming attributes) is fun for maybe 3 months and you're ready for something else after the 10th one is hardly criminal either.
And good luck getting the fun, accomplished girl with social skills, a degree, a terrific job and somewhat party girl past as a late life virgin with no social life. Seriously good luck.
18 Oct 2015, 10:04 am
KoalaAardvark wrote:
Neotenous Nordic wrote:
Being friends with women is not necessarily a bad thing.
The problem is when the man becomes an "orbiter" who the woman keeps stringing along where he hopes that he will some day get with her, and tries to court her in a wussy way by buying her stuff, showering her with compliments and acting all "nice" to her, and she sees that by reacting in certain ways, she can keep him doing favors for her without her having to get romantic with him. I.e she can dangle the carrot before his eyes and keep him walking on a treadmill without him ever getting to it.
Many women who do this will also complain about the men they're actually sleeping with, how those men are all a-holes, and how the person they are stringing along is such a nice man who will make a woman very happy one day to subtly motivate him to keep acting like a naive dunce and buy her stuff.
If you want to get in a relationship, you need to make your intentions clear from the get go, or you will get categorized. Once that has happened, it is difficult to move from that category to romance.
It's social dynamics like this which just makes me not get into trying to establish a relationship with women because I simply don't want to involve myself in this way of thinking.
I don't want to play a stupid game or be the one who is the most cynical emotional manipulator. If that is the price of getting in a relationship, then that relationship is abusive and fake. We all know what happens when you're being "nice" too so it's best just not to bother with it at all IMO.
I think it's f*****g funny though, now that I approach my 30s, to see women my age who have become single mothers or whose biological clock is ticking suddenly show interest in me.
You've seen the memes they post on facebook too, about how they used to be a party girl, but now they want a nice man. All of a sudden as they reach their mid to late 20s, they do a 180 turn. Strange.
The problem is when the man becomes an "orbiter" who the woman keeps stringing along where he hopes that he will some day get with her, and tries to court her in a wussy way by buying her stuff, showering her with compliments and acting all "nice" to her, and she sees that by reacting in certain ways, she can keep him doing favors for her without her having to get romantic with him. I.e she can dangle the carrot before his eyes and keep him walking on a treadmill without him ever getting to it.
Many women who do this will also complain about the men they're actually sleeping with, how those men are all a-holes, and how the person they are stringing along is such a nice man who will make a woman very happy one day to subtly motivate him to keep acting like a naive dunce and buy her stuff.
If you want to get in a relationship, you need to make your intentions clear from the get go, or you will get categorized. Once that has happened, it is difficult to move from that category to romance.
It's social dynamics like this which just makes me not get into trying to establish a relationship with women because I simply don't want to involve myself in this way of thinking.
I don't want to play a stupid game or be the one who is the most cynical emotional manipulator. If that is the price of getting in a relationship, then that relationship is abusive and fake. We all know what happens when you're being "nice" too so it's best just not to bother with it at all IMO.
I think it's f*****g funny though, now that I approach my 30s, to see women my age who have become single mothers or whose biological clock is ticking suddenly show interest in me.
You've seen the memes they post on facebook too, about how they used to be a party girl, but now they want a nice man. All of a sudden as they reach their mid to late 20s, they do a 180 turn. Strange.
If a girl you're friends with is taking advantage of you, tell her to stop and stop being friends with her if she doesn't. Duh.
You don't have to chase a perpetually dangling carrot if you don't want to. Free will and all.
And what's so wrong with being a bit of a party girl in your teens and early 20s? I was in college and grad school, I liked going out, it was a blast. Deciding you're ready to settle down or that a really hot guy (with no other redeeming attributes) is fun for maybe 3 months and you're ready for something else after the 10th one is hardly criminal either.
And good luck getting the fun, accomplished girl with social skills, a degree, a terrific job and somewhat party girl past as a late life virgin with no social life. Seriously good luck.
Wow, you apparently have some issues. He didn't say there was anything wrong with partying, if you read his whole message and not cherry pick. The problem comes when females purposely don't make their intension clears and string guys along. These guys will work towards trying to get with these girls. They'll go out of their way for them and the girls will be going to parties having sex with random guys. If you want to do that fine, but don't purposely lead guys on. That's what he's talking about. I see this all the time. I have an acquaintance on facebook and he keeps posting memes about his girlfriend and making statuses such as "I guess what they said about you was true." I have met this girl and I know people whom she has slept with while she was in a relationship and her boyfriend at the time didn't know about it. Now she has a new boyfriend and she's doing the same thing. Now, I expect you to reply somethign alogn the lines of "That's her choice and it's his fault. He should have known how she was before he got with her." Please don't reply something like that, that's just asinine.
18 Oct 2015, 10:07 am
KoalaAardvark wrote:
Neotenous Nordic wrote:
Being friends with women is not necessarily a bad thing.
The problem is when the man becomes an "orbiter" who the woman keeps stringing along where he hopes that he will some day get with her, and tries to court her in a wussy way by buying her stuff, showering her with compliments and acting all "nice" to her, and she sees that by reacting in certain ways, she can keep him doing favors for her without her having to get romantic with him. I.e she can dangle the carrot before his eyes and keep him walking on a treadmill without him ever getting to it.
Many women who do this will also complain about the men they're actually sleeping with, how those men are all a-holes, and how the person they are stringing along is such a nice man who will make a woman very happy one day to subtly motivate him to keep acting like a naive dunce and buy her stuff.
If you want to get in a relationship, you need to make your intentions clear from the get go, or you will get categorized. Once that has happened, it is difficult to move from that category to romance.
It's social dynamics like this which just makes me not get into trying to establish a relationship with women because I simply don't want to involve myself in this way of thinking.
I don't want to play a stupid game or be the one who is the most cynical emotional manipulator. If that is the price of getting in a relationship, then that relationship is abusive and fake. We all know what happens when you're being "nice" too so it's best just not to bother with it at all IMO.
I think it's f*****g funny though, now that I approach my 30s, to see women my age who have become single mothers or whose biological clock is ticking suddenly show interest in me.
You've seen the memes they post on facebook too, about how they used to be a party girl, but now they want a nice man. All of a sudden as they reach their mid to late 20s, they do a 180 turn. Strange.
The problem is when the man becomes an "orbiter" who the woman keeps stringing along where he hopes that he will some day get with her, and tries to court her in a wussy way by buying her stuff, showering her with compliments and acting all "nice" to her, and she sees that by reacting in certain ways, she can keep him doing favors for her without her having to get romantic with him. I.e she can dangle the carrot before his eyes and keep him walking on a treadmill without him ever getting to it.
Many women who do this will also complain about the men they're actually sleeping with, how those men are all a-holes, and how the person they are stringing along is such a nice man who will make a woman very happy one day to subtly motivate him to keep acting like a naive dunce and buy her stuff.
If you want to get in a relationship, you need to make your intentions clear from the get go, or you will get categorized. Once that has happened, it is difficult to move from that category to romance.
It's social dynamics like this which just makes me not get into trying to establish a relationship with women because I simply don't want to involve myself in this way of thinking.
I don't want to play a stupid game or be the one who is the most cynical emotional manipulator. If that is the price of getting in a relationship, then that relationship is abusive and fake. We all know what happens when you're being "nice" too so it's best just not to bother with it at all IMO.
I think it's f*****g funny though, now that I approach my 30s, to see women my age who have become single mothers or whose biological clock is ticking suddenly show interest in me.
You've seen the memes they post on facebook too, about how they used to be a party girl, but now they want a nice man. All of a sudden as they reach their mid to late 20s, they do a 180 turn. Strange.
If a girl you're friends with is taking advantage of you, tell her to stop and stop being friends with her if she doesn't. Duh.
You don't have to chase a perpetually dangling carrot if you don't want to. Free will and all.
And what's so wrong with being a bit of a party girl in your teens and early 20s? I was in college and grad school, I liked going out, it was a blast. Deciding you're ready to settle down or that a really hot guy (with no other redeeming attributes) is fun for maybe 3 months and you're ready for something else after the 10th one is hardly criminal either.
And good luck getting the fun, accomplished girl with social skills, a degree, a terrific job and somewhat party girl past as a late life virgin with no social life. Seriously good luck.
Joined: 15 Oct 2015, 9:52 am
Last visited: Yesterday, 5:32 pm
I have a feeling you're the same girl that replied in another thread. You hate men, we get it. You hate them so much that you have to make multiple accounts.
18 Oct 2015, 1:36 pm
KoalaAardvark wrote:
And what's so wrong with being a bit of a party girl in your teens and early 20s? I was in college and grad school, I liked going out, it was a blast. Deciding you're ready to settle down or that a really hot guy (with no other redeeming attributes) is fun for maybe 3 months and you're ready for something else after the 10th one is hardly criminal either.
It's not wrong. It's just that I have the free will to deem those women as not suitable for me. And I am going to take advantage of the fact that I can choose.
Statistically, single mothers and reformed party girls don't really have a problem finding a boyfriend anyway, so why should my lack of desire for such girls be problematic? I am entitled to having whatever preferences I want to.
Being in a position where I am vulnerable to being exploited and taken advantage of, I reserve my right to have preferences and standards.
18 Oct 2015, 3:39 pm
Neotenous Nordic wrote:
If you want to get in a relationship, you need to make your intentions clear from the get go, or you will get categorized. Once that has happened, it is difficult to move from that category to romance.
Exactly. That's why you don't ask a girl to be your friend if you are romantically interested in her.
19 Oct 2015, 5:23 am
rdos wrote:
Ecomatt91 wrote:
I have lot of female friends, they are all friends. I am interested in some, but they rejected me. In that point, being friends first is best way to develop relationship.
No, it is not. Especially not if you have a crush.
Having a crush is a little inappropriate. More of schooling years 'cooties' virus rumouring around.
You have to think strategically if you want a person or not. I used to have crush on someone, they mostly find them inappropriate. So I stopped appearing desperate, as what crushes are like.
19 Oct 2015, 6:27 am
Ecomatt91 wrote:
rdos wrote:
Ecomatt91 wrote:
I have lot of female friends, they are all friends. I am interested in some, but they rejected me. In that point, being friends first is best way to develop relationship.
No, it is not. Especially not if you have a crush.
Having a crush is a little inappropriate. More of schooling years 'cooties' virus rumouring around.
You have to think strategically if you want a person or not. I used to have crush on someone, they mostly find them inappropriate. So I stopped appearing desperate, as what crushes are like.
You are of course free to seek relationships using whatever means you prefer. I wouldn't even consider a relationship with a girl I never had a crush on. For me that cannot be a real relationship, but will always be some sort of friendship.
And crushes aren't desperate. It's a biological process we are supposed to go through. Strategy is something you can use on the job market, possibly even friends and allies "market", but definitely not for relationships.
19 Oct 2015, 7:58 am
I think the problem with his phrase is how the PUA types use it. To them anyone who doesn't sleep with them has put them in the "friend zone."
I always just saw it as unrequited love between friends. I never saw it as an exclusively male thing either. A woman can be put in the "friend zone" too.
I don't really use the phrase, but I don't have a problem with it. And no it hasn't happened to me.
19 Oct 2015, 11:41 am
CommanderKeen wrote:
KoalaAardvark wrote:
Neotenous Nordic wrote:
Being friends with women is not necessarily a bad thing.
The problem is when the man becomes an "orbiter" who the woman keeps stringing along where he hopes that he will some day get with her, and tries to court her in a wussy way by buying her stuff, showering her with compliments and acting all "nice" to her, and she sees that by reacting in certain ways, she can keep him doing favors for her without her having to get romantic with him. I.e she can dangle the carrot before his eyes and keep him walking on a treadmill without him ever getting to it.
Many women who do this will also complain about the men they're actually sleeping with, how those men are all a-holes, and how the person they are stringing along is such a nice man who will make a woman very happy one day to subtly motivate him to keep acting like a naive dunce and buy her stuff.
If you want to get in a relationship, you need to make your intentions clear from the get go, or you will get categorized. Once that has happened, it is difficult to move from that category to romance.
It's social dynamics like this which just makes me not get into trying to establish a relationship with women because I simply don't want to involve myself in this way of thinking.
I don't want to play a stupid game or be the one who is the most cynical emotional manipulator. If that is the price of getting in a relationship, then that relationship is abusive and fake. We all know what happens when you're being "nice" too so it's best just not to bother with it at all IMO.
I think it's f*****g funny though, now that I approach my 30s, to see women my age who have become single mothers or whose biological clock is ticking suddenly show interest in me.
You've seen the memes they post on facebook too, about how they used to be a party girl, but now they want a nice man. All of a sudden as they reach their mid to late 20s, they do a 180 turn. Strange.
The problem is when the man becomes an "orbiter" who the woman keeps stringing along where he hopes that he will some day get with her, and tries to court her in a wussy way by buying her stuff, showering her with compliments and acting all "nice" to her, and she sees that by reacting in certain ways, she can keep him doing favors for her without her having to get romantic with him. I.e she can dangle the carrot before his eyes and keep him walking on a treadmill without him ever getting to it.
Many women who do this will also complain about the men they're actually sleeping with, how those men are all a-holes, and how the person they are stringing along is such a nice man who will make a woman very happy one day to subtly motivate him to keep acting like a naive dunce and buy her stuff.
If you want to get in a relationship, you need to make your intentions clear from the get go, or you will get categorized. Once that has happened, it is difficult to move from that category to romance.
It's social dynamics like this which just makes me not get into trying to establish a relationship with women because I simply don't want to involve myself in this way of thinking.
I don't want to play a stupid game or be the one who is the most cynical emotional manipulator. If that is the price of getting in a relationship, then that relationship is abusive and fake. We all know what happens when you're being "nice" too so it's best just not to bother with it at all IMO.
I think it's f*****g funny though, now that I approach my 30s, to see women my age who have become single mothers or whose biological clock is ticking suddenly show interest in me.
You've seen the memes they post on facebook too, about how they used to be a party girl, but now they want a nice man. All of a sudden as they reach their mid to late 20s, they do a 180 turn. Strange.
If a girl you're friends with is taking advantage of you, tell her to stop and stop being friends with her if she doesn't. Duh.
You don't have to chase a perpetually dangling carrot if you don't want to. Free will and all.
And what's so wrong with being a bit of a party girl in your teens and early 20s? I was in college and grad school, I liked going out, it was a blast. Deciding you're ready to settle down or that a really hot guy (with no other redeeming attributes) is fun for maybe 3 months and you're ready for something else after the 10th one is hardly criminal either.
And good luck getting the fun, accomplished girl with social skills, a degree, a terrific job and somewhat party girl past as a late life virgin with no social life. Seriously good luck.
Joined: 15 Oct 2015, 9:52 am
Last visited: Yesterday, 5:32 pm
I have a feeling you're the same girl that replied in another thread. You hate men, we get it. You hate them so much that you have to make multiple accounts.
That seems to be a lifelong mission for her. To berate Aspie or Autistic men for being themselves and trying to learn social stuff. No wonder why men get pissed off.
Going back to the first poster that quoted in the first of this line of threads. I myself have read some of the posts on a blog called "The Rational Male" Of course, a lot of people will say it is misogynist, sexist and just treats women badly. The guy that writes the blog states that he is calling women out on all their BS. Based on what I have seen in life and what he writes, I actually agree that the type of women I want to date exclusively better give me their all and their best.
The women who like to party around in their 20s mature by the time they are between the ages of 28-32 and suddenly decide they want children. The ones that are single mothers struggle to find men because most men are smart enough to know that they may be left on the hook to pay the child support for a child that isn't theirs (and in the event things go badly between the two). And what man thinks that is fair?
The ones I have dated, I did notice the following:
-they were clinging on to something, like the one that got away (sex may leave something to be desired as a result), or their sexuality because they crave the attention. i did notice that these were dating scenarios in which I was never going to win and may even find myself hearing the complaints of "Why can't you be like this?"
-Women were very sexual anyway. if you sounded judgmental, they would likely choose to date someone else anyway, which you can't fault them for that.
-During one breakup argument and in the lady's way of saying 'smarten up', she made the mistake of saying "I have options." I told her to go explore them. She then told me to go f**k myself and to go to hell.
-if you were younger, she craved the control over you because you were naive and she knew how to manipulate you.
-had no problem with having sex without a condom (even on first date).
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Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 88 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
19 Oct 2015, 11:59 am
As a woman, I agree with the point made several times above: if you're interested in someone romantically, make your interest very clear! That way you can get the information you need and move forward. There's nothing wrong with agreeing to be friends if that's what your crush is interested in, but be honest with yourself about your intentions. Sometimes feelings do change, but it would be a bad idea to expect that to happen.
Sweetleaf
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Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,856
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
19 Oct 2015, 1:09 pm
rdos wrote:
Ecomatt91 wrote:
rdos wrote:
Ecomatt91 wrote:
I have lot of female friends, they are all friends. I am interested in some, but they rejected me. In that point, being friends first is best way to develop relationship.
No, it is not. Especially not if you have a crush.
Having a crush is a little inappropriate. More of schooling years 'cooties' virus rumouring around.
You have to think strategically if you want a person or not. I used to have crush on someone, they mostly find them inappropriate. So I stopped appearing desperate, as what crushes are like.
You are of course free to seek relationships using whatever means you prefer. I wouldn't even consider a relationship with a girl I never had a crush on. For me that cannot be a real relationship, but will always be some sort of friendship.
And crushes aren't desperate. It's a biological process we are supposed to go through. Strategy is something you can use on the job market, possibly even friends and allies "market", but definitely not for relationships.
They do seem a little juvenile though, which to each their own but I stopped having 'crushes' on guys in early high school...Like with my current boyfriend it seemed we had a lot in common talking online and I thought he was fairly attractive(now he just seems even more attractive because his awesome personality) so it was worth an initial date and seeing how things went and turned out well.
If I was still single a guy just having a crush on me but not really directly approaching me or telling me they're interested(provided I have mutual interest) just would make me feel awkward and frustrated(maybe even worried they're trying to make fun of me somehow) at which point I'd probably forget about them and move on. Though I also am never really in situations where I am around people to get crushes on me in the first place.
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The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,037
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
19 Oct 2015, 1:13 pm
ChristyA, In my observation, guys can fall for a woman after some long spent time, sometimes even after months or even couple of years, even if they weren't originally interested in her - I see often guys fall for long-time friends way more than women falling for long-time friend - a guy might befriend a woman unaware that one day she'll become his crush.
I am not sure if this is equally true for women (as frequent) - but in my experience and observation, I have the impression that a woman either likes the man from the very beginning or it's never ever - I never heard a woman saying something like "I think I am falling for my old best friend!" but I might be wrong.
19 Oct 2015, 5:58 pm
CommanderKeen wrote:
KoalaAardvark wrote:
Neotenous Nordic wrote:
Being friends with women is not necessarily a bad thing.
The problem is when the man becomes an "orbiter" who the woman keeps stringing along where he hopes that he will some day get with her, and tries to court her in a wussy way by buying her stuff, showering her with compliments and acting all "nice" to her, and she sees that by reacting in certain ways, she can keep him doing favors for her without her having to get romantic with him. I.e she can dangle the carrot before his eyes and keep him walking on a treadmill without him ever getting to it.
Many women who do this will also complain about the men they're actually sleeping with, how those men are all a-holes, and how the person they are stringing along is such a nice man who will make a woman very happy one day to subtly motivate him to keep acting like a naive dunce and buy her stuff.
If you want to get in a relationship, you need to make your intentions clear from the get go, or you will get categorized. Once that has happened, it is difficult to move from that category to romance.
It's social dynamics like this which just makes me not get into trying to establish a relationship with women because I simply don't want to involve myself in this way of thinking.
I don't want to play a stupid game or be the one who is the most cynical emotional manipulator. If that is the price of getting in a relationship, then that relationship is abusive and fake. We all know what happens when you're being "nice" too so it's best just not to bother with it at all IMO.
I think it's f*****g funny though, now that I approach my 30s, to see women my age who have become single mothers or whose biological clock is ticking suddenly show interest in me.
You've seen the memes they post on facebook too, about how they used to be a party girl, but now they want a nice man. All of a sudden as they reach their mid to late 20s, they do a 180 turn. Strange.
The problem is when the man becomes an "orbiter" who the woman keeps stringing along where he hopes that he will some day get with her, and tries to court her in a wussy way by buying her stuff, showering her with compliments and acting all "nice" to her, and she sees that by reacting in certain ways, she can keep him doing favors for her without her having to get romantic with him. I.e she can dangle the carrot before his eyes and keep him walking on a treadmill without him ever getting to it.
Many women who do this will also complain about the men they're actually sleeping with, how those men are all a-holes, and how the person they are stringing along is such a nice man who will make a woman very happy one day to subtly motivate him to keep acting like a naive dunce and buy her stuff.
If you want to get in a relationship, you need to make your intentions clear from the get go, or you will get categorized. Once that has happened, it is difficult to move from that category to romance.
It's social dynamics like this which just makes me not get into trying to establish a relationship with women because I simply don't want to involve myself in this way of thinking.
I don't want to play a stupid game or be the one who is the most cynical emotional manipulator. If that is the price of getting in a relationship, then that relationship is abusive and fake. We all know what happens when you're being "nice" too so it's best just not to bother with it at all IMO.
I think it's f*****g funny though, now that I approach my 30s, to see women my age who have become single mothers or whose biological clock is ticking suddenly show interest in me.
You've seen the memes they post on facebook too, about how they used to be a party girl, but now they want a nice man. All of a sudden as they reach their mid to late 20s, they do a 180 turn. Strange.
If a girl you're friends with is taking advantage of you, tell her to stop and stop being friends with her if she doesn't. Duh.
You don't have to chase a perpetually dangling carrot if you don't want to. Free will and all.
And what's so wrong with being a bit of a party girl in your teens and early 20s? I was in college and grad school, I liked going out, it was a blast. Deciding you're ready to settle down or that a really hot guy (with no other redeeming attributes) is fun for maybe 3 months and you're ready for something else after the 10th one is hardly criminal either.
And good luck getting the fun, accomplished girl with social skills, a degree, a terrific job and somewhat party girl past as a late life virgin with no social life. Seriously good luck.
Wow, you apparently have some issues. He didn't say there was anything wrong with partying, if you read his whole message and not cherry pick. The problem comes when females purposely don't make their intension clears and string guys along. These guys will work towards trying to get with these girls. They'll go out of their way for them and the girls will be going to parties having sex with random guys. If you want to do that fine, but don't purposely lead guys on. That's what he's talking about. I see this all the time. I have an acquaintance on facebook and he keeps posting memes about his girlfriend and making statuses such as "I guess what they said about you was true." I have met this girl and I know people whom she has slept with while she was in a relationship and her boyfriend at the time didn't know about it. Now she has a new boyfriend and she's doing the same thing. Now, I expect you to reply somethign alogn the lines of "That's her choice and it's his fault. He should have known how she was before he got with her." Please don't reply something like that, that's just asinine.
If the guy CHOOSES to continue to go out of his way for a girl who (1) hasn't agreed to a date with him or (2) hasn't agreed to date him exclusively, yes, it's his own damn fault.
If she hasn't agreed to date him exclusively, she can sleep with anyone she damn well pleases and he's a moron for being mad that she's strung him along.
Because there's no stringing, FFS! A girl can't string along a guy who hasn't so much as asked her out or simply casually dated!
When you meet a new love interest, you do the best you can with the information you have at the time. That's all anybody can do.
If one has mutually agreed to date a girl exclusively and one finds out "his" girlfriend slept with some other dude, one gets to decide if he's willing to stay with the cheating girl or dump her.
If a guy meets a girl he knows or has been heard has cheated on a previous boyfriend (whether true or a false rumor or a flat-out lie), it's a piece of information to consider when deciding whether to want to continue to casually date or to pursue an exclusive relationship.
While the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, to me, there's a huge honking difference between hearing that "he cheated on his HS gf of 3 weeks" and is now 38 and "his wife walked in on him doing his SIL at 45".
20 Oct 2015, 2:10 am
MissMistopholes wrote:
If the guy CHOOSES to continue to go out of his way for a girl who (1) hasn't agreed to a date with him or (2) hasn't agreed to date him exclusively, yes, it's his own damn fault.
If she hasn't agreed to date him exclusively, she can sleep with anyone she damn well pleases and he's a moron for being mad that she's strung him along.
If she hasn't agreed to date him exclusively, she can sleep with anyone she damn well pleases and he's a moron for being mad that she's strung him along.
He is a moron for picking an unreliable girl, but that's it. The rules of dating only apply to people that subscribe to them, and not to people that won't. I set up my own rules, and then pick girls that are likely to follow them. A good way to make a girl understand we are not using the rules of dating is to never initiate the dating procedure.
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