It isn't all about personality

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When I was in high school, I had more female friends then male friends. Part of this was most of the parental attention coming from my mom and my dad being macho who always though I should "man up". I'm a sensitive Aspie by nature and the more my dad didn't want to accept that, the more sensitive and nerdy I became.

I was interested in relationships during much of high school, but I was both too shy to find one and had no advice from male friends. All my advice came from movies that I should wait for "her to come".

I made female friends very easily since I have that aura of sensitivity, that it led some kids to think I was gay (ya know I'm not )

Plus one thing that always characterized me was the lack of playfulness, which is critical to forming close friendships due to the fact that you can disagree with someone and later laugh it off to form a stronger bond.

If someone (guy A) wore a lousy shirt and asked "how do I look", I'd say "it's fine", as part of my yes-man attitude and fear of conflicts, I tried not to expose myself and my true ideas.
Another guy (guy B) would say "It looks gay". Then guys A and B would tussle a bit and later shrug it off and form a strong bond since they already experienced each others' true opinions and emotional responses.

So I was always that sweet guy with girls to hang around with, but none who wanted to date me.

Summary: It's a huge misunderstanding to think guys with no girlfriends are bitter misogynists. There are terrible people like Ted Bundy who managed to have relationships because those guys are very charming. It's just the narcissism that prevents the relationships from becoming long term.

Well, it seems you are at least comfortable around women, and I'd say that is certainly a step in the right direction.

There are so many married people with horrible personalities.

There are attractions which give instant click, chemistries. They can be looks, voice, charisma, smile and I found "being playful" can be one of them. Being playful can be very attractive. But there is no doubt that good personality builds firm attraction which is slower steadier and stronger. Without good personalities which you seem to have, an attraction is very short-lived.

People firstly match based on looks level. After that, of course personality matters, but looks come first when the sexes are mixing and matching.

Women strictly date the most dominant males, so being playful with them, or even getting along with them doesn't matter if you don't have dominant traits, being sensitive towards women sends you straight into the friend-zone, because back in the past, when we were swinging clubs in our loincloths, being a sensitive flower was a massive liability to the tribe and thus women will unconciously breed-out those qualities that threaten the group.

Someone whose good at poetry isn't going to be able to do much when a kodiak bear is charging at the family, but a warrior might be emboldened or dominant enough to scare the creature off, and thus the dominant male is selected.

Our bodies still think that the conditions of the past are still present.

This extends to sex, women like sex as much as guys do, they are only extremely selective about it because her body is conditioned to find the most dominant of male traits arousing, meaning it is trying to weed out sensitive traits while preserving itself in the harsh world that was present ages ago.

whatever!!

my woman-neighbour would, from time to time, utter that my kids weren't normal because they didn't have bf or gf or go out in the weekends
I have never re-inforced upon them that you should be in a relationship in order to be *worth*while
I was not raised that way - and rather shocked when raising mine, of parents making all sorts of boy-girl differences and talking about love when little children of different sex would get along

we're so in a hurry to perpetually make the same mistake
and validated by our children doing the same
ooooooooooo

now we're raising princesses, but no prince-s
princesses get arranged marriages, but who will do ??

The most difficult thing I've found, was trying to be ok with one self. When everyone constantly criticizes you. I think only something like therapy can help with confidence. Remind you that, you are ok who you are and allowed to stand up for what you believe in, even when someone else disagrees and be ok with that.