Yep I f****d up

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She did actually tell him she have no interest in him at all, at the same time she doesn't want him nor in a relationship. She is focusing on herself at the moment. Counseling, career and trying to make friends.

She doesn't hang with out guys, that what she told me. No initial romantic interest? That is called friendships. My psychologist told me starting from friends before into relationship definitely have no romance involved/interest. You can't tell right? How you get in romance with someone you rarely know? How you able to trust and be confidence with someone if there is romance involved?

My other friend, she just got a new boyfriend, of her friend for several years. They weren't romantic for whole time. They just recently started dating and now its romantic.

I think there are lot of people in reality doesn't understand the step process of relationships. If you want a long term partnership/marriage, you need to start off as friends. She will be your best friend for life, if romance involved with that it a brilliant luck. Love at first sight is like society crap. Love at first sight doesn't work because how you trust and be confident with a stranger?!

I am seeing lot of friends, family friends and that in my life jumping in and out of relationships many times. Rebounding, casual dating and flings. They are complaining about them all the time and still doing it. It seems no one have learned from this. This makes me feel so glad for not wasting nor investing time on short term craps. There is nothing be mindful of yourself when doing this. You are so far more likely to be unhappy kind of person in these situations.

My psychologist told me that if you are loving yourself and happy for everything, consistently, you are far more likely to find someone in a same shoes. The relationship/marriage will be very long term, because of understanding emotions.

Then why it always worked for everybody else except me?

Everybody I know already dated before 25. Already done everything that is part of human life on planet Earth. I am missing out. its their reflection of rejections basing on my unattractive traits thanks to my poor communication where it making them feel uncomfortable. I don't get it why women hates me so much basing on my disabilities that make them so scared?

I am VERY GOOD guy. I have career. I have money. I have an apartment and car. I have friends. I have families. I have networking groups that I hang out socially and that. I am involved in sports and meetup groups. I am always out every week, constantly being out is to be awesome person for myself being happy and excellent successful person for myself. That where I am hoping to meet someone. Because I was told it doesnt work by sitting at the computer screen or playing video games all day all night! I don't do that. I am always out and do things.

Now when I am being out. It always women and other people kept seeing me I have severe disabilities where communication is on massive bang bang scale that scares them off. I can't hear people speeches properly because they speak too fast, very unequal pace and poor speech articulation. I dont get to clubs nor bars because its so bloody loud and annoying. I dont like the smell of alcohol and that. it make me to throw up and feel death in hell.

I am so furious and curious of why I am in this situation when I have so many awesome things for myself. Why I am always seeing guys get women all the time who doesnt have lot of things like I do. I thought it better to be with someone who have more things, like attractive things. Gosh what kind of planet this is! I rather kill myself instead because nothing is working nor changed. It just making fecked up bogan feralism crap

Goodbye everyone and the world. it such a shame losing myself. People cant give me a chance to understand and provide opportunities. I thought I am better than this, but with return I get s**t bagged by superficial and cruel women one after another and repeat for 6 years. I liked some of them by their niceness and assertiveness. Then get rejected very easily.

Life is rejected.

Feck this planet.

This means that you haven't found the right one yet. The dating world is something that a lot of people have over complicated so don't feel bad. To be honest, this has seemed to really depress you. Maybe you should take a break from finding a woman and focus on yourself. Because relying on a partner to make you happy will not make you happy. It will only make you feel worst if everything goes to rot. Try to think of things you do for yourself that make you happy.