First girlfriend

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Joined: 15 Nov 2015
Posts: 7
Location: Utah

16 Nov 2015, 12:20 pm

So I have my first girlfriend and she's amazing. I've dated before but this is the first time I have ever wanted to actually date a girl. And now my concern is how do ingest over physical touch barriers? Cause I know that's always hard for people like us where we want to give them a hug or hold a girls hand but it just feels so weird for us, so foreign. So I'm just wondering what's the best way to get over that. Appreciate it guys

accountinglad
Deinonychus

Joined: 4 Dec 2013
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 366

16 Nov 2015, 12:42 pm

Talk to her about physical touch and that you want to go about it in small steps

bluegill
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 27 Jun 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 53

16 Nov 2015, 1:04 pm

Speedy Alvin wrote:

It takes some time to establish barriers and a mutual understanding. It may take more than a year for your girlfriend to completely understand how to not touch you. My girlfriend still rubs me the wrong way occasionally after 7 months but she does not mean to. She now knows why I get irritated right away and does not get offended by it much anymore. The longer you are with her, the more comfortable you will be with her touching you.

Speedy Alvin
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 15 Nov 2015
Posts: 7
Location: Utah

16 Nov 2015, 4:38 pm

Thanks guys I did talk to her about it so she has kind of an idea, but I don't think she 100% understand and probably never will since she's considered an NT. I guess I'll wait it out and see what happens, any other advice?

frenchmanflats
Veteran
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Joined: 5 Oct 2015
Age: 50
Posts: 1,052
Location: California

17 Nov 2015, 2:30 am

Actually, I several "first" girlfriends. I dated my next door neighbor and ended being passed around her friends. I liked it being passed around like a party favor.

Cockroach96
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Joined: 28 Jun 2015
Age: 28
Posts: 3,162
Location: Romania

17 Nov 2015, 3:05 pm

Overcoming the touch barrier takes guts. You have to force yourself to do it.

_________________
I'm a Romanian aspie.

frenchmanflats
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Joined: 5 Oct 2015
Age: 50
Posts: 1,052
Location: California

18 Nov 2015, 3:16 am

Cockroach96 wrote:

Overcoming the touch barrier takes guts. You have to force yourself to do it.

I really do not have problem

Nocturnus
Deinonychus

Joined: 22 Jun 2015
Posts: 354
Location: England

18 Nov 2015, 3:44 am

frenchmanflats wrote:

Actually, I several "first" girlfriends. I dated my next door neighbor and ended being passed around her friends. I liked it being passed around like a party favor.

They were objectifying you and mocking you at the same time because of your weakness to be manipulated and used through your sex drive.

As long as you are consensually aware of that..

frenchmanflats
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Joined: 5 Oct 2015
Age: 50
Posts: 1,052
Location: California

18 Nov 2015, 3:49 am

Nocturnus wrote:

frenchmanflats wrote:

Actually, I several "first" girlfriends. I dated my next door neighbor and ended being passed around her friends. I liked it being passed around like a party favor.

They were objectifying you and mocking you at the same time because of your weakness to be manipulated and used through your sex drive.

As long as you are consensually aware of that..

They were far from mocking me. I was the love machine at neighbors school. I probably dated every single of her friends. I was dating more at her high school than my high school. At my prom I took her and her friend. At hers, I was her escort one of her friends. It was a very difficult choice to choose.

Last edited by frenchmanflats on 18 Nov 2015, 4:01 am, edited 1 time in total.

Nocturnus
Deinonychus

Joined: 22 Jun 2015
Posts: 354
Location: England

18 Nov 2015, 4:01 am

frenchmanflats wrote:

Nocturnus wrote:

frenchmanflats wrote:

Actually, I several "first" girlfriends. I dated my next door neighbor and ended being passed around her friends. I liked it being passed around like a party favor.

They were objectifying you and mocking you at the same time because of your weakness to be manipulated and used through your sex drive.

As long as you are consensually aware of that..

They were far from mocking me. I was the love machine at neighbors school. I probably dated every single of her friends. I was dating more at her high school than my high school.

Passing you around like a piece of meat to be objectified and used is hardly what I would equate to a respectful and loving relationship but at the age, we do not truly know ourselves.

I am surprised that your mentality has not matured and you feel the need to boast in a forum where many struggle with relationships and romance but each to their own.

frenchmanflats
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Joined: 5 Oct 2015
Age: 50
Posts: 1,052
Location: California

18 Nov 2015, 4:03 am

Nocturnus wrote:

frenchmanflats wrote:

Nocturnus wrote:

frenchmanflats wrote:

Actually, I several "first" girlfriends. I dated my next door neighbor and ended being passed around her friends. I liked it being passed around like a party favor.

They were objectifying you and mocking you at the same time because of your weakness to be manipulated and used through your sex drive.

As long as you are consensually aware of that..

They were far from mocking me. I was the love machine at neighbors school. I probably dated every single of her friends. I was dating more at her high school than my high school.

I have Aspergers but I do not let interfere in my love life and who I date. I have learned to overcome any fears.

Nocturnus
Deinonychus

Joined: 22 Jun 2015
Posts: 354
Location: England

18 Nov 2015, 4:10 am

frenchmanflats wrote:

Nocturnus wrote:

frenchmanflats wrote:

Nocturnus wrote:

frenchmanflats wrote:

Actually, I several "first" girlfriends. I dated my next door neighbor and ended being passed around her friends. I liked it being passed around like a party favor.

They were objectifying you and mocking you at the same time because of your weakness to be manipulated and used through your sex drive.

As long as you are consensually aware of that..

They were far from mocking me. I was the love machine at neighbors school. I probably dated every single of her friends. I was dating more at her high school than my high school.

I have Aspergers but I do not let interfere in my love life and who I date. I have learned to overcome any fears.

I am glad for you but try to be respectful that many do not have that choice or privilege..

For many, it effects the ability to engage or maintain relationships and it can effect the ability to be touched by others. For some people, getting one loving relationship or girlfriend for the first time is an achievement because everyone is at different levels. It isn't a competition..

I just don't understand how your original post was productive to Speedy Alvin. It seemed like a reflection of your own vanity and pride.

frenchmanflats
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Joined: 5 Oct 2015
Age: 50
Posts: 1,052
Location: California

18 Nov 2015, 4:13 am

Nocturnus wrote:

frenchmanflats wrote:

Nocturnus wrote:

frenchmanflats wrote:

Nocturnus wrote:

frenchmanflats wrote:

Actually, I several "first" girlfriends. I dated my next door neighbor and ended being passed around her friends. I liked it being passed around like a party favor.

They were objectifying you and mocking you at the same time because of your weakness to be manipulated and used through your sex drive.

As long as you are consensually aware of that..

They were far from mocking me. I was the love machine at neighbors school. I probably dated every single of her friends. I was dating more at her high school than my high school.

I have Aspergers but I do not let interfere in my love life and who I date. I have learned to overcome any fears.

It seemed like a reflection of your own vanity and pride.

Thanks for the compliment.

There was a time I was in my shell, but Aspies need to experience the richness of life. Hiding does not work. Last Month, I went to Carson City and I asked the band leader if I could join and play the keyboards/piano. If was afraid at first because that I had not played in front a large audience in a long time. But the aprehension went away as the hours progressed.

Nocturnus
Deinonychus

Joined: 22 Jun 2015
Posts: 354
Location: England

18 Nov 2015, 4:48 am

frenchmanflats wrote:

Nocturnus wrote:

frenchmanflats wrote:

Nocturnus wrote:

frenchmanflats wrote:

Nocturnus wrote:

frenchmanflats wrote:

Actually, I several "first" girlfriends. I dated my next door neighbor and ended being passed around her friends. I liked it being passed around like a party favor.

They were objectifying you and mocking you at the same time because of your weakness to be manipulated and used through your sex drive.

As long as you are consensually aware of that..

They were far from mocking me. I was the love machine at neighbors school. I probably dated every single of her friends. I was dating more at her high school than my high school.

I have Aspergers but I do not let interfere in my love life and who I date. I have learned to overcome any fears.

It seemed like a reflection of your own vanity and pride.

Thanks for the compliment.

That is commendable but what is simple for you isn't simple for everyone else.

Peacesells
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Joined: 20 Sep 2014
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,915
Location: Anzio, Italy

19 Nov 2015, 1:17 pm

darkphantomx1 wrote:

Let her have some cock for breakfast.

You should really stop addressing people like this. It's because of awful perverts like you that girls get jaded.

WantToHaveALife
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Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,197
Location: California, United States

25 Nov 2015, 1:31 pm

what is your age OP?

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