Unwittingly replying to girls like a rude as*hole.

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Yes, I'm probably overthinking it. It's not like I wanted to call her an obvious little girl to her face. I just used that term to refer to her on this thread. If I met her in real life I'd hide my annoyance and not say anything rude to her.

True that if someone prefers to eat alone, why not say it? Maybe because I'm worried I won't be believed. People may be incredulous about things outside of their frame of reference.

Maybe because I might feel like I'm lying. There have been times in my life when I was truly happy to eat alone (High School, I just wanted to read my novels), times in my life when I happily ate in groups and times when I wanted to be in a group but couldn't.

Like when I'm at a party or other social event with people I don't know. I want to join in one of the groups but it's hard to initiate conversation with complete strangers. I worry they might get mad at me for daring to speak to them yet I worry they might get mad at me for not speaking to them.

That's what scares me about social interaction, that I might say or do something the other person doesn't like and then they'll be mad at me. But they might get mad at me for not doing it.

Being alone in a crowded room is hardest of all. I can be alone in my apartment by myself and it feels very normal. Being alone in a crowded room is dreadful. Sometimes it's a room full of strangers, sometimes it's people I know but I don't have enough energy to interact with them.

Retrogamer has a point, seems you're doomed if you do and doomed if you don't.

So many people find it uncomfortable, awkward or outright creepy if you're silent because they don't understand. In group situations I am the silent type (out of choice, not shyness. If I'm actually interested in conversation people will soon realize I'm quite a normal, ordinary person) but it could make some people uncomfortable.

Just like when you do talk, it may be too awkward, weird or even if you have good social skills, the topics might be too 'out there' for them and they might know nothing on something obscure and unique. This is where special interests become a problem for us because it's rare to find those who share them and even those who do may not know too much detail about it (I am an electronic musician and rarely do I meet other electro, so most musicians I meet are just guitar players and all that stuff - almost impossible to relate. It's like apples and oranges, but in the same basket).

Summary: People do fail to understand us, and sometimes there's no point trying to justify our behavior to others. And since when are they entitled to our justifications?

But I still think a simple 'no thank you' will do the job. If people have follow up questions or comments, simply continue to re-state no thank you until they go away.

OP, I can be quite aggressive myself. If younger teen females or males were annoying me, I usually do politely ask them to leave me alone or say no thank you. But to those who don't get the message after several times, I revert to an aggressive 'F•ck øff!'.

There's no point being assertive with young teens, many of them don't even know what the word means. Most of them only understand passiveness, passive-aggressiveness (most common among teens), or aggression (second most common)

Maybe the 12 year old girl was trying to be nice and wanted to be your friend?

You should try to distinguish between people who are mean and deserve to be treated badly and those who are nice and deserve to be treated with kindness. You have to be careful.

That's why being approached by nice people sucks---there's no acceptable way to get them to leave you alone.

You can politely acknowledge them and say you're not interested in chatting.

I used to eat with the teachers and chat with them in the cafeteria. Then I got accused of not knowing how to make friends. I'm an extrovert and feel almost to social so making friends and being friendly towards people comes naturally with me. I won the most friendly award too.

I know how you feel about the cafeteria. I hated how immature the kids were in the cafeteria at times. Do you feel more mature than other kids?