Why is it girls have an easier time getting dates than guys?

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You may be right. I'm not exactly normal, so I don't know how normal women feel. I definitely have no idea what men find attractive besides the obvious.

I will come back to this. It will involve more unpacking and nuance than I can muster right now.



(My bolding)

Not with me, and much as I enjoy being such a special little snowflake, I doubt I'm alone. I'll probably walk into town later. I'll encounter maybe 150 women, here defined as aged 18 and over (it's a saturday - a lot of people go off to bigger towns). Two or three may have something about them that I think 'oh, she's nice'.

Now, from one perspective, if I think that in just an hour or so, in a small, temporarily empty town, I saw three women I found attractive - that seems quite a bit. Certainly, if I were looking to try my luck with any of them, that already gives me something of a choice, a 'fallback'. That I overlook the many women that barely registered beyond their role in my drama (passerby, woman in front of me in shop queue, person serving me in shop, person whose car I wait to pass before I cross the road etc) provides a context and contrast to the confirmation bias I have about the women I thought attractive.

I think, where they are going out to get laid, some men may keep lowering their standards, however they conceive of them, until they do, the fear of a bruised ego and the internalised cultural pressure to be a 'stud' egging them on. I don't think this is the same as 'a woman is attractive by default'. I would not be surprised if women going out to get laid similarly lower their standards (again, however conceived) as the night wears on, though the internalised cultural pressure to not be a 'slut' and the knowledge that it is they who run the risk of pregnancy would act against the desperation rather than with.

Baldness isn't something men can control.

A lot of what you described physical is in line with most women. Even the women who don't keep care of themselves.

Also one doesn't have to assume anything. A lot of women make their pickyness quite clear in the modern dating world.

I know one person who mortgaged his house for hair transplant cost.

Hair transplant often does not produce the desired results. Because it redistributes existing hair. There is a new kind of treatment in the works that involves follicle cell cloning to actually regrow hair to the same thickness it was before.

I confess, I don't know practically anything about dermatology, but I heard somewhere that things like rogaine pretty much cure baldness, they just have some kind of method that have to be used.

Rogaine does NOT cure baldness(and I would know). Unfortunately ATM there is no miracle cure for male pattern baldness and even though there will be soon, it will be rather costly and not all men will be able to afford it.

But doesn't rogaine have some kind of hair rejuvenation properties? Again I don't have any balding issues myself but there was a lot talk about it being some kind of miracle formula etc.

A woman who is TOO picky likely won't get or accept any dates and will either 1) resign herself to being single or 2) lower her standards to get dates. Guys do this too. Everybody does.

If a girl is independent and financially stable, she (quite reasonably) wants a guy who is the same -- and is free to reject guys who aren't. The issue might not be that women are unreasonably picky... it could simply be that you do not meet their (utterly reasonable) standards.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mate_choice

I did read about about some creature, i cant remember what it was now, but the female has a penis and the male gets to be the choosy one because male semen comes packed with nutrients.

Otherwise, the reason guys chase girls, is because all mammalian males chase the female of the species. Theres a bias in favor of females, they get to choose and females are more valuble to society. I would say the world pretty much revolves around what males do to get female attention. All that crap with men trying to outdo each other, the gathering of money, status , its about sex. Our whole world, sexual competition drives it. Even the oldest story known to mankind is a story of what a man will do for sex, the old adam and eve thing and the stealing of the apple.

If we want to change things men would have to group together and withold sex until women come running. But obviously, males are dogs, theres no chance of that.

It goes without saying that true equality across the sexes is impossible as long as the bias exists.

[MODERATOR]

I've gotten rid of Katy the C__t (again).

I would advise that everyone just not engage with her bullsh_t.

[/MODERATOR]

The problem being that girls also chase guys. So that simple, observable fact somewhat complicates, if not refutes, the reductionist ideas here.

This may be of interest:

http://www.alternet.org/sex-amp-relatio ... h-more-men

Sex is a powerful force in human society and behaviour. It is not the only force, nor indeed the only force of significance.

ETA: It goes without saying - see, I can do that - that the story of the fall is one told by men. That is, that a woman made them do it, they couldn't help themselves. It is the woman who is wiley and disobediant, and led them into sin. And so on. This is a world-picture, a myth, that can be found under a lot of what is said in this sub-forum. Men who think they're being all scientific and going on about genes and sex selection and all that, and they're just rationalising the founding myth of western society. It would be hilarious if it wasn't so bleak.

And men are not dogs - the s**t a woman would get for saying something like that here! Men are humans, thank you, for good and/or ill. Humans engage in all sorts of sexual shenanigans, and get off in all sorts of ways, that have nothing to do with procreation. And when there is penis-in-vagina sex, people take all sorts of precautions to see that they don't procreate.

The crap people come out with when they confuse their reified, abstract understanding of a particular phenomenon within the world for the world at large.

Yes women do chase men. And yes women want sex as much as men. But this idea that men and women are innately identical and all behavioral differences are products of their environment is scientifically false. There is NO CULTURE on Earth where men and women have identical, interchangeable roles!

Human behavior is emergentist, not reductionist. It is non-linear but ultimately deterministic. Humans in groups have far more predictable behavior than individual humans. So this holistic approach to human behavior is nothing but flim-flam.

I have not argued that men and women are identical and all behavioural differences are due to the environment. I do not believe that. But then, one who stands against this must also stand against the idea that all men and all women inherit a biology that steers them in an identical way. That is what I was arguing against.

Because we have moved from biology to archetype, to notions of what men and women are and want and do. In my experience, most people are a muddle. I've met really masculine men and feminine women - the types supposed by the theorising indulged in by biological essentalists - and not only are they rare, but they seem like parodies, like they're taking the piss.

I believe that the human biological inheritance must allow for every example of human behaviour that has been exhibited. Unless one allows for a soul - and I do not - how could it be otherwise? To use the example here, this will include guys chasing girls. It will also include guys not chasing girls. It will include guys chasing guys. It will include girls chasing guys. And so on and so on.

I also believe that upbringing and environment and social customs etc play an important role in shaping and directing human behaviour.

As to group behavour being predictable - how do you mean?

My thinking is that it's hard to be human. Who knew, eh? There's a safety in being assigned a role, in being encouraged in certain behaviours and discouraged in others. There's a cover in assuming the identity given one, in putting one's behaviour on that identity. 'As an Aspie. I...'. 'As a man, I...'. 'As a Briton, I...'. Or sometimes, 'All Aspies/men/Britons want x' - a projection of one's desires, of one's behaviour, onto a group.

When I see or hear things like this, I see people not taking responsibility for who they are and what they want or believe.

So, it does not surprise me if group behaviour is more predictable than individual behaviour. We do seem to be social animals. We have norms, after all.

I'm a man. My XY chromosomes are as real as any other's. I'd pass any test of my biological maleness. I tire of being told how men are when I am not like that, and I doubt I'm the only one. I'm tired of being told how women are when I can see, every day, women constantly not being as they are supposed (in both an assumptive and prescriptive sense) to be.

ETA: Also, I'm not clear on what you mean by 'holistic' here, but do appreciate that you used the term 'flim-flam'.

Thanks, this link worked much better.

The article had a lot of information, so I only read the first part.
It was little too poignant for my tastes, but I suppose it was also interesting, in an "other side of the fence" sort of way.
When you're a man, and you've encountered a great deal of brutality and cruelty at the hands of women, it is often easy to overlook the fact that women are often enduring similar kinds of treatment at the hands of men. I am however painfully aware that for every man that is being oppressed by a woman, there is also a woman is being every bit as oppressed by a man.



As a man who has been assaulted many times by women, and even been raped by them, I sincerely disagree with your statement. I know many men, both casually and through support groups, that have been subjected to truly heinous acts of brutality and cruelty by women. I won't betray their confidence by sharing their stories, but I myself can speak of fighting extremely difficult uphill battles just to get the proper authorities to recognize such crimes even took place. Perhaps on paper, more women may be the victims of domestic violence, but that is only because of the extreme hurdles put in place that make it almost impossible for men to even be recognized as being victims of such crimes.

*sigh*

I don't want to go on an overly long tangent about this, largely because I've read many of your posts kraftiekortie, and I don't believe your the kind of person to have meant to cause genuine offense by your statement.



Did you ever get around to drafting that poll?
I was a little preoccupied over the holidays, so I might have missed it...



I imagine most virgins would disagree with that statement.

The first time I had sexual intercourse was at the age of 13, so in many ways I'd already lost my virginity before I even knew that I had it, let alone what it must have felt like.

In some ways I almost regret not waiting until I was a little older, and in others I wonder how it took me so long.
When one considers that the first time I tongue kissed a girl and copped a feel of her non-existent bosom, it was at the age of 4 years old.
It could be stated that I was stuck at first base (assuming that means what I think it does) for a good solid 9 years...
Oh... I just realized that there was more than one base before sexual intercourse, no idea what they are though, so maybe it wasn't precisely 9 years... Saying 6 years feels more accurate, at least before any actual fondling of sorts happened.



This is certainly true of the virgins that I have sexual relations with, to the point where I now make it a personal rule to ask them if they've ever had sex before. I've since grown to believe that losing your virginity is not so black and white, yes or no. The second, third, fourth, fifth, ect. times that I've had sex with someone who has given me there virginity, often feels exactly like the first, they're essentially still virgins in almost everything but name (and body if you want to get really technical).

Taking someones virginity almost feels like being University Professor, with said Students only officially losing their virginity upon successful completion of the course work. One of my Psychopathic friends suggested that I should host graduation ceremonies and handout diplomas. I was almost tempted to go through with it once, until a Sociopathic friend dissuaded me from it, on the grounds that it could be easily misinterpreted as making a mockery of what from their point of view would be considered a life changing event. Perhaps one of these days...



If they lie about it, then it makes me question what else they might be lying about.

If I'm about to have sexual relations with a virgin, then I would like to know about it beforehand. Especially if it's a one night stand scenario where I'm looking to cut loose and enjoy myself, and not play host to an after class special to accommodate a new Student of the craft. Otherwise, I wouldn't normally mind.



I disagree.

I believe that everyone should be entitled to sex, it is a natural fact of life and everyone should have a right to it. However, it is not a singular right that stands alone. I also believe people have the right to not be assaulted, the right to not be raped, the right to mutual respect. I believe that people are entitled to a great many freedoms and liberties, and that it is possible to achieve them all without them coming into conflict with one another.

If a woman pursues a man in the hopes of having sexual relations with him, only to find out that he isn't interested, then she has to respect that persons rights. Eventually she'll find a man with which she can have mutually agreeable sexual relations with. The same for men that find themselves in the same situation, or in same gender situations.



There's no need to get personal Peacesells...



You think she's trolling... Really?

You are aware of the nature of these Forums, yes?
It's a lifeline to people with Autism, a condition which all to often leaves people confined to their homes, and isolated from the world. No doubt many feel that these Forums are one of the very few resources that they have available to them.

That you would entertain the thought of telling someone that their crazy, and that they need to seek professional help, let alone actually posting it on a forum of this nature...

Considering that one member posted a suicide Thread not too long ago, and came very close to going through with it.

Peacesells, I am not a Moderator of these Forums, so I will not presume to preach what kind of behavior should be tolerated here. At the same time however, I must ask that you pay some thought to others on these Forums. You may say something that might seem innocent to you, but given the very nature of both Autism and online communication, such comments can very easily be misinterpreted. On a normal Forum, someone might just get upset (which by itself is quite bad), but here where people openly talk about being on the edge, and how hard it is to just live...

Hmm...



There's a significant amount of discussion about Feminism, supplemented by a lot of mudslinging. Also, I just became aware that Miss Kong was banned. It's sad that someone whose only crime was caring too passionately about their chosen subject of interest, something that I think everyone with Autism can relate to, was banned for it. Unless of course there was stuff said in the background, via personal messaging that we wouldn't otherwise be privy to.

Almost everything that all of you have said about Feminism is correct, but it seems as though you've all been operating on the believe that Feminism is singular static entity, when there are in fact four very separate feminist organizations. They all carry the same banner, but their ideologies differ quite drastically from one another.

If your hoping to find information on this then the "four waves of feminism" should point you in the right direction. Currently we're caught somewhere between the third and fourth wave of Feminism, even though the latter officially began sometime around 2008. While Feminism had always been a women first movement from a time when women were very literally treated like second class Citizens. It is important to understand that Feminism has in fact fought many times in defense and even promotion of men's right's. The real reason that Men's Rights Activist Groups exist is because they don't feel Feminism is doing enough for men's rights. Feminism still hasn't obtained real equality for women, and many Feminists still believe that they are living in a male dominated world, this often makes it quite hard to properly commit to the areas in society where men are clearly being oppressed by women.

Enter Equalism.
Most Equalist Movements are basically re-branded core Feminist Movements operating under a gender neutral name. They tend to made of the idealistically minded former members of second, third and fourth wave Feminism, you can even find former Men's Rights Activists among their ranks.

Part of the reasons Feminism is steadily declining in popularity is due in part due to the misandristic nature that is strongly prevalent among fourth wave Feminist groups. Most Feminists who actually care about core Feminist believes ironically find that they are not able to obtain it within the current Feminist group, instead defecting to Equilist Movements that are making visible progress towards equality, not just of the genders, but of society as a whole, something that Feminism has had firm roots in since the very beginning.

Anyway, I'm sure I've talked enough about Feminism to blow both your ears off, or the eye equivalent...



I find that "standard pickiness" is gender neutral, and is instead relative to the amount of sex an individual can realistically acquire for themselves. Take myself for example, I have almost impossibly high standards when it comes to choosing sexual partners, and in pursuit of one night stands I tend to enjoy the chase itself rather than the sexual conclusion itself. However this wasn't always the case, in the very beginning, a good 14 years ago now, my standards were almost nonexistent. It's only after numerous sexual conquests and relationships that I grew to have the kind standards I have today.

Of course you also get virgins that have high standards, which could be the reason that they're still virgins, on the other hand it may be debilitating ramifications involved in the day to day living that people with Autism must regularly deal with. As I might have mentioned earlier, I'm not at all familiar with the feeling of being virgin so I can't really empathize with their situation to know for sure.

Anyway, I'm going to stop here, as the fear of my Browser somehow restarting, even though such incidents are few and far between, is start to become increasingly prevalent with each new paragraph, and I do not wish to lose such progress... Again...

Misskong, aka katyk and other hundreds of names is a person who has a extreme hatred towards aspie men. She was renamed for her continued attack on us. I'd hope you could understand on a site meant for support for aspies that a person constantly putting them down and attacking them would be banned.

But if you still really like her rest assured she's probably already back again under another name for the 200th time. She was first banned over a year ago and has been just remaking new accounts and ips since. She's a person so filled with hatred and has no life.