Relationship Issues :(

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It seems so ironic that a lot of aspies are disagreeing here with the idea of online communication.

I understand why it would be very wrong and dangerous for a 19 year old to have an 'online relationship' with a 13 year old, but at the same time, it is at least just talking for now.

So long as it doesn't move into the 'sending nudes'/'sexual talk' territory, you technically aren't doing anything illegal.

Now, morals is another question, but again it's very subjective.

I was fine with talking to and befriending adults online aged 20-30 when I was just 13/14 years old.

I met a lot of genuinely good people on Yahoo Answers and was online friends with a few gay or bisexual adult men.

There was never an online relationship though. But it was never any uncomfortable or inappropriate talk and it was firmly established exactly it is what it is.

Seems a lot of aspie adults here I can't befriend as easily as i can't message them back and forth without them quickly losing interest.

It's not much different to talk to adults online through PM than it might be a teen conversing with adults in public/the real world.

Anyway, OP - you can't let this progress further for now. You've get to let everything stay the same.

Just talk for now, and have patience. Check the local laws for your country/state and his own, and once you could legally date him, you're in the clear.

Like I said my best friends been chatting to a younger female he is attracted to emotionally for a few years now. He's aware of the tabooness of the age difference, aware he's putting himself at risk if he were to try and meet her right now, etc.

You should also be aware of the risk you're taking, but that doesn't mean you should have to stop. We all take risks. We take risks every time we leave the house.

In response to Outrider.. (I'd use quotes but that triggers the Cloudflare captcha and never lets me proceed, it's odd, but whatever)

There's absolutely zero chance of any kind of 'nudes/sexual talk'. Neither of us are into that and we both know the law and don't want to break it. I just wish everyone else would understand that we're just having normal conversations. As I mentioned in a previous comment, it's just a regular conversation with an 'I love you' thrown in occasionally. We're both aware that any physical contact would be wrong and that's why we're waiting until he's older.

Things definitely won't be progressing until he's an appropriate age. I know the risks, which is why I made sure his parents were aware of what was happening and why I carefully checked what was/wasn't allowed while talking to younger people online. We just talk about computers, gaming, and what we've been up to recently and because we both have the same 'special interest' we never run out of things to talk about and we can talk for hours without getting bored of eachother. I've never had anything like that before.

I just want him to be safe and happy and that won't change. I'd never be able to live with myself if I did anything to hurt him because he's the most important person in my life.

Thanks very much for this response. While I value everyone else's opinions, it just seems like they're not fully understanding the situation.

I wouldn't want to be in your position OP.

Even if you talk about computers and stuff you are still in a romantic relationship with a 13 years old guy. Also you conveniently didn't answer my question about the parents.

This is in response to Peacesells' question about if the parents really know..
(Adding quotes triggers the Cloudflare captcha and I can't proceed)

Sorry about not replying earlier. I missed it in the wall of text.

I've spoken to his dad quite a lot and he's aware that me and his son are involved. He basically just told me to keep it legal and that he'd make sure I got into as much trouble as possible if I didn't. He also said that meeting up in person is strictly off-limits for now, and I'd have to ask for his permission before even considering it. Not sure if the mother is aware that we're involved or if she just thinks it's a friendship though.

His dad is a cool guy and we sometimes have group chats where we talk about programming stuff because his dad is actually a professional programmer and me and his son have a lot to learn. His dad is aware of the whole situation and is very understanding; he knows that I have no malicious intent (although he's probably just giving me the benefit of the doubt and just being cautious) and he knows his son is very mature and wouldn't do anything stupid.

Although it would be best for me to find someone my own age for many different reasons, I've been single for years and never found anyone. Then I met him and straight away just knew he was something special. I really wish he was a more appropriate age, but we're keeping everything legal and acceptable until he's an appropriate age (16 here and where he lives) and his dad is quite understanding of that.

Again, sorry for missing your question the first time.

I see, so he knows. That's weird. Idk man you still have a romantic relationship with a 13 years old, that's messed up. And I think that when you say that you can't stop it or he'd feel bad you are just saying it to find an excuse to keep it on. I understand your lonliness but that's not an excuse. What would you do if you were to find a guy of your age, would you stay with the 13 years old? Also if he were so mature he wouldn't be in a relationship with a 19 years old probably. This is what I think.

Peacesells,

Yeah, he knows. He's making sure everything stays appropriate because although he's allowing us to be involved he's making sure that we don't do anything stupid.

He honestly would feel bad if I ended it, his previous relationships ended quite badly and now he feels like he's unlovable. If I just suddenly ended the relationship, that would make him feel even more that way.

I love him and really want things to work out and I really want us to be together in a few years once he's an appropriate age. So, if I did meet someone older (which would be unlikely because I'm not looking for anyone else) I'd still stay with the 13 year old, yes. I don't want to lose him.

Maybe he's immature for being with me, or maybe he's so mature that people his own age seem childish to him.

Dude he is 13, don't talk like he is a 40 years old guy with a past of failed relationships. Come on be serious now!

Well I can't help you, nor I think you came here for help but for a validation. You will do what you like in the end without thinking about what's best, so whatever people say here doesn't matter.

Lol he is not. People are various, they are not all the same, some might be childish but some are not. Teens love to behave as if they are mature and all that stuff but the whole thing itself is immature. Besides I can't really imagine a level of maturity so high that it would make a relationship between a 13 and a 19 years old apt (because there's not such level of maturity), I only see immaturity here. You should stop saying that he's soooooo mature, he is basically still a kid. As I said I think you should leave him alone.

I think Peacesells is making way too big a deal out of this. As long as nothing sexual is going on between you, there's absolutely nothing wrong with being friends with him. Age is just a number; when it comes to non-sexual things, maturity is what counts, and if he's mature for his age, I don't think there's a problem with a friendship or a love interest, as long as you don't do anything that would be illegal due to his age.

I am not. And you guys are suggesting a 19 years old to stay 3 years without seeing anyone because of his romantic interest for a 13 years old kid.

Grammar Geek, Nothing illegal is/will be going on, we both have respect for the law and understand it's important to follow it. Also, his dad checks the chats fairly often so I'd end up in jail if I even tried to do anything inappropriate (I wouldn't want to anyway). I'm definitely going to stick to the law, and so is he.

Also, he's almost 14, so it's a 2.1 year wait. I'm happy to wait that long for a 'proper' relationship and so is he. I think his dad would also be OK with us having physical contact in 2 years because he would've known me for long enough to trust me.

Brother this is very wrong, I get that you are lonely but under no circumstances should a 13 year old child be in a relationship with a 19 year old man. I would advise to cut contact with him immediately. This will not end well for either of you.