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Feeling undatable

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slw1990
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17 Jan 2016, 4:22 am

It feels like most of the guys I like are more desirable and likable than I am.



sly279
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17 Jan 2016, 7:56 pm

I'd date you. Rest would depend on compatibility. I don't generally loose interest in people, usually it's people who loose interest in me. :(

Perhaps people like us are just super rare.



slw1990
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17 Jan 2016, 8:36 pm

Sorry, I was feeling stressed, but am a little better today.



AuroraBorealisGazer
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17 Jan 2016, 8:49 pm

I wish I had some better advice for you...a lot of this stuff I am still trying to decipher myself. Currently I am trying to learn how others perceive me (which admittedly, usually deteriorates into long periods of me making goofy faces at myself in the mirror). Maybe this could help you?



sly279
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17 Jan 2016, 9:36 pm

Hugs.



Spiderpig
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17 Jan 2016, 10:48 pm

What's the problem with being undateable? It helps you avoid dating, and there's a general consensus that those who can't get dates have absolutely no reason to think there's anything wrong with not dating, so there's no point in trying to change the situation.


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AuroraBorealisGazer
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17 Jan 2016, 10:52 pm

Spiderpig wrote:
What's the problem with being undateable? It helps you avoid dating, and there's a general consensus that those who can't get dates have absolutely no reason to think there's anything wrong with not dating, so there's no point in trying to change the situation.


Some people want someone a committed relationship, others do not.



slw1990
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18 Jan 2016, 12:43 am

AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
I wish I had some better advice for you...a lot of this stuff I am still trying to decipher myself. Currently I am trying to learn how others perceive me (which admittedly, usually deteriorates into long periods of me making goofy faces at myself in the mirror). Maybe this could help you?


It might help. When I'm off guard and I see myself in the mirror I feel like the expressions on my face might be unattractive.



AuroraBorealisGazer
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18 Jan 2016, 1:32 am

slw1990 wrote:
AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
I wish I had some better advice for you...a lot of this stuff I am still trying to decipher myself. Currently I am trying to learn how others perceive me (which admittedly, usually deteriorates into long periods of me making goofy faces at myself in the mirror). Maybe this could help you?


It might help. When I'm off guard and I see myself in the mirror I feel like the expressions on my face might be unattractive.


Usually it's brought to my attention when I spot myself in pictures people have taken that I am in. I'll see myself off to the side sitting in some super awkward position or making a weird (unintentional) face, and I'll think "holy crap! what the hell am I doing?" 8O



slw1990
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18 Jan 2016, 1:38 am

AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
Spiderpig wrote:
What's the problem with being undateable? It helps you avoid dating, and there's a general consensus that those who can't get dates have absolutely no reason to think there's anything wrong with not dating, so there's no point in trying to change the situation.


Some people want someone a committed relationship, others do not.


Yes. It's hard when you want to be in a relationship. Especially when it feels like most of the autistic guys that I felt attracted to don't seem to like girls like me.



Last edited by slw1990 on 18 Jan 2016, 2:01 am, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
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18 Jan 2016, 1:51 am

I think you're attractive enough.



slw1990
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18 Jan 2016, 2:43 am

I think there's just something about me that just pushes guys away. I think there's some quality other girls have that I just don't have.



kraftiekortie
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18 Jan 2016, 6:50 am

I think those very thoughts you express cause you to give off a non-confident expression.



EliteGirl
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18 Jan 2016, 8:18 am

slw1990 wrote:
It seems like a lot of people, especially guys, act very uncomfortable and serious around me. They avoid looking at me, give me strange looks and act indifferent towards me while acting very friendly towards other people. A lot of people seem to target me and feel sorry for me too and I'm not going to be able to relate to someone if they feel sorry for me. I know some people are jerks and I try to avoid them, but it seems like a lot of people that really are nice treat me differently too like they are creeped out by me or something. The few guys that seem interested in me seem like they might just want to use me and lose interest once another girl is around. I think part of what might creep people out is that I'm so soft spoken, but I don't always realize how quiet I really am. I usually have pretty good posture though and I smile if someone else is smiles back, but a lot of people still feel sorry for me. Any advice would be appreciated.


I feel like I'm undesirable too. I feel like because I'm plus sized, I'm fat and ugly therefore that means I'm unappealing to guys. I'm not sure I'll ever find the one. Someone nice, friendly, kind and sweet is what I'm looking for. I'm also looking for someone honest, trustworthy and loyal as well as faithful. And yes, caring too. It's hard for most autistic people to date. I understand the "dating is hard" part completely.



AuroraBorealisGazer
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18 Jan 2016, 2:15 pm

slw1990 wrote:
I think there's just something about me that just pushes guys away. I think there's some quality other girls have that I just don't have.


Yeah I've thought that before too...I can only conclude that there's something I am not seeing (that the other girls possess), either that or these guys want girls so opposite to themselves that they're unobtainable. ---Though I suppose I don't play 'hard-to-get' so maybe that's the problem (I never understood that game), but I don't think I act over eager either. The whole thing is like a giant brain teaser. :P
**If the above sounds like I'm lacking in confidence, then I assure you that I am not.



sly279
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18 Jan 2016, 4:09 pm

0.o I don't get it. I'd consider myself lucky to date either of you two. I can't be the only guy like that.