What did my brother mean?

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When I was 16 a lot of girls found me cute and I was considered to be handsome and a really likable person by many.

Fast forward 10 years later and now aged 26 i just don't have the same appeal anymore, a lot of girls dislike me and I am walked all over by many people.


I talked to my brother about this and he said "sometimes what looks nice as a teenager will not look so nice as a man"


I don't really want to discuss with my brother but what do you think he meant in more depth by that?

Well, young girls like baby faces like Justin Bieber, older women like man faces. It's a thing that happens in life. I didn't have a baby face as a teen and as a result I didn't start really getting laid on the regular until my 20s.

Do you have a young face, or general 'youthful' demeanour?

Mrs Hopper has remarked that, when Titanic came out, her friends were swooning over Leonardo di Caprio but she didn't see any appeal. Then at some point in the 00s, he got himself a fine jawline, and she actually thinks him good-looking now.

Though your brother referred to physicality, there's also the matter of emotional maturity.

But not knowing the specifities of you, your brother, or your social/cultural circles then and now, it's hard to really point to anything, so this is just guesswork.

People say I look young for my age

The letting folks walk all over you is the issue, the looks not so much.

It's a polite way of saying you looked good as a teenager but now you look like crap.

On a side-note I'm surprised you'd talk to your brother about this sort of thing. No way in hell would I mention anything of the sort to members of my family.

How can I look good again?

Regretfully I can't offer any advice on how to look good since I am somewhat inexperienced in that area.

Unless your brother tells you what he meant, you may never know for certain.

Taken at face value, he seems to mean exactly what he said - that sometimes what looks nice as a teenager does not look nice as a man.

Digging a little deeper, it could mean one of many things ...

- In his opinion, you used to be "cute", and now you're not.

- The standards that women have for "cute" have changed from their teens to their twenties.

- He is trying to make you feel bad by preying on your insecurities.

- He can't stand the competition, so he's trying to discourage you from finding a girlfriend.

Again, you will never know for certain unless he truthfully tells you.

Take a shower every day.
Make sure your clothes are clean.
Make sure you are well-groomed.
You're okay in height and weight.

I think there's definitely an emotional/social maturity component to this as well (like Hopper said), although the others do have a point with the baby face/man face thing.

Autistic brains take longer to develop. Your brain may not be done developing until you're in your 30s, whereas most people's brains have all the cognitive capabilities that they'll have at around age 25. Right now, the gap in maturity between you and your peers is bigger than it ever has been and ever will be--they're done, and you've got possibly another 10-15 years to go before you'll be done. In some areas you might be more intelligent or mature than others, but it often takes us longer for our social and emotional capacities to catch up (judgment can also be behind).

I'm 21 and most of my friends are in their mid-20s so I'm going through the exact same thing. Although I look like an adult physically, I register as a child to them on an emotional level, which can often make them feel protective of me and takes me off the radar for most people in terms of romantic feeling (I get people saying they love me in a nonromantic way ALL the time). You may be having the same issue, especially if you still LOOK young for your age too. People probably see you as a kid, which is a huge turnoff to most people. In five or ten years this might get better.

When you were a teenager, the maturity discrepancy was a bit smaller, and often Autistic people don't do some of the same stupid things that Neurotypicals do at that age which might've made you more likeable.