Sad i don't have a sweetheart

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Happy with yourself is 100% within your control.

Thanks for the replys. I sadly don't have the courage to approach someone. I would be too scared and nervous. I have Aspergers which is to blame for that. It's just recently i started being more social. What i want in partner is love and happiness. I also want give love and happiness to someone. To be with someone. Have a friend i talk to about anything. I don't want to be alone anymore. I need some company. I don't have any friends. I haven't had a friend since about 2003.

Relationships are a big chunk of most people's happiness.

Twist it whichever way you like, the bottom line will always be that money buys happiness.

Though I probably shouldn't say this, I find your attempts to cloud and complicate the issue to be somewhat mildly amusing, though not nearly as amusing as your reluctance to admit outright that money pays for your happiness. May I ask, why?

I'm just trying to collect the facts so I see where he's coming from. Obviously it's granted that he's looking for a human (he's given us no reason to believe otherwise), but he gave no perimeters in terms of age and appearance. All he said was he wanted a girl to love who will love him back. That really didn't answer my question. Perhaps I should rephrase it.

OP, what are you looking for in a girl in terms of physical appearance, character traits, moral values and employment/economic status? And what can you offer a girl in terms of physical appearance, character traits, moral values and employment/economic status?

And yes, I understand AS affects people in different ways. I used to be incredibly shy too, until I adopted the belief that shyness was an excellent excuse to assign blame to exterior factors for my shortcomings, so I realised that there is risk involved with talking to people, but not talking to people is an even greater failure.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not the king of social interactions by any means, but I have developed strategies and thought processes to combat the anxiety I face when considering talking to people.

Perhaps my initial advice about being happy with yourself doesn't correctly capture the message I'm trying to convey. Let me try putting it this way.

Correct me if I'm wrong here OP, but I would assert that you probably feel like girls can't be interested in you for some reason or another. Now if that's how you feel now, don't you think if you felt like it was very possible that girls could be interested in you, you would not be sad, or at least not to the degree you are now?

When I say being happy with yourself, what I'm really trying to say is doing your best to get yourself to the point where you feel like a worthwhile romantic partner. Where you honestly wouldn't be able to understand why girls would choose other guys over you if things happened that way.

As for meeting people from online, granted it js a little bit easier than meeting a stranger, but the difference is marginal unless you've video or voice called them beforehand, at least in my experience.

And about my inquisitory tone... I'm really not sure what else you'd expect from someone whose username is The Grand Inquisitor.

Happy with yourself is 100% within your control.

A sweetheart? Not so much.

Sort of. It doesn't mean that all depressed people are intentionally unhappy.


Could you approach someone from your group? Have you tried looking for any local meetups? Aspergers or otherwise?

I think you will find that the majority of happy people in this world are those who acquire money, and subsequently use it to buy things that either directly or indirectly grant them happiness.You are aware that you just confessed that money buys/maintains your happiness, right?
Okay, just checking.

@ Everyone Else.

As Outrider painfully pointed out above, money is literally needed to both live and sustain a happy, healthy life, even if you manage to live a happy life entirely off the charity of others, you're health and happiness would still have been bought with money, their money.

The best thing about money is that you don't have to have a lot of it to buy some happiness, in some cases, even just the act of earning/having/spending it can give you good feels.

Sure, you do have the option of forsaking civilization with all of it's technology and tools, and going back to nature to live off of the land. Genuinely though, how happy would you be in the wild, in a world where money doesn't exist? Anytime something broke you'd have to fix it yourself, assuming you had the foresight to buy the things you needed to survive in the wild, oh wait, there was that word buy again.

Though I guess if you were to completely give up on money, then you'd have to go into the wild naked and unarmed. Since money would have been used to purchase your clothes, and/or even the materials if you made your own. Depending on the climate, a person could reasonably survive in the wild with nothing more than their wits, but just how happy would they be, I reckon that they'd eventually break down until there was no longer a person, just the twisted shell of one.

Are you sure these are your only standards?

So if an 84 year-old morbidly obese woman wanted a relationship with you and was willing to offer love, happiness and someone to talk to, you'd jump at the chance?

In relation to meeting people, joining interest/social groups is a good place to start. Better than approaching random people for conversation.

And please don't try to use Asperger's as an excuse not to do anything. I have Asperger's too, and I have approached random people in the past for conversation, and I'm also part of some groups, which have given me a much wider social network than I'd previously had.

If you're not willing to actually go out and meet people, I really don't know what you expect. If you can't meet people now, what makes you think you'll be able to muster up the courage to meet a girl you've been chatting to online?

I don't know about all that, I can't approach people I don't know IRL either doesn't mean I don't want to meet people or would never go out...just can't go up to someone and start a conversation. I mean I can go out and about, and try and be approachable via body language(also not my strong point). But as for the online thing it is actually a lot easier to meet someone IRL if you've been talking to them online already and have seen a picture, makes them seem more familier initially. At least for me, another person with the 'cant approach people' issue.

I know I would be happy if I had a sweetheart. I'm not happy now that i don't have sweetheart, so if I get one i must be happy. I want a sweetheart that also can be my best friend.

Being in a relationship can also be a cause of unhappiness. I keep thinking about all the other girls I can't date now

Well you're not very monogamous