Sad i don't have a sweetheart

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Peacesells
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14 Feb 2016, 5:54 pm

Spiderpig wrote:
If your girlfriend isn't the love of your life, why is she your girlfriend in the first place?

Sometimes people like us can think they love someone but in reality they're just needy and lonely. Sometimes I wonder if it's good that we are alone.

About RetroGamer I am not sure if he felt like that, though.



waynet7
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14 Feb 2016, 9:53 pm

I have seen two topics brought up in this thread:
1. Money-
I had the pleasure of knowing both of my grandfathers. One was dirt poor. He never said an unkind word about anyone, his family was his life, and he would always be ready with a joke or kind words at all times. Even when my grandmother was living her tragic last days. He died in 2003.
The other was obsessed with making a buck, would share nothing with anyone if he deemed that it had so much as a penny of worth, was critical of many, and had poor family relations. He died last month. He had no will (possibly by design). We estimate his worth at @50 million. They adorned his body with a neck tie covered in dollar signs at the visitation.
I put forth the questions: Who do you think was truly 'rich' and who was truly 'happy'?

2. Relationships-
I have been married 11 years, and dated my wife for seven years. Neither of us has ever truly been happy. Lessons learned:
1.Two generally unhappy people hooking up will equal an unhappy couple.
2.Another person cannot and will not make you happy, although a good partner will stand with you in rough times, and will enhance and sustain your pre-existing happiness.
3.The MOST IMPORTANT relationship is the one we have with the person we see in the mirror every day. This is the one relationship that DOES have the power to make you happy! Try dating that person first!


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RetroGamer87
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15 Feb 2016, 4:21 am

Spiderpig wrote:
If your girlfriend isn't the love of your life, why is she your girlfriend in the first place?
I wasn't able to find a girl who was absolutely perfect. Who can?


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Spiderpig
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15 Feb 2016, 8:52 am

Noöne, but they still find the love of their life. Doesn't this tell you something about your assumptions?


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RetroGamer87
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15 Feb 2016, 4:49 pm

Then how can I find mine?

Remember I had to restructure my whole life just to get a girlfriend of any sort.

I left the comfort of home for an overpriced apartment. I went for days at the time without eating eating bite as I starved myself thin. I blindly quit my job in hope that I'd find a higher paying job that would impress the girls. And I found one. It stresses life out of me, but I pays well.

All those years of work and sweat and pain and sacrifice, just so I could attract B-Class women.

So after all that, tell me, what more do I need to do to attract the love of my life? After all that, am I still not good enough for her? Do I need to be a doctor? A millionaire? Do I need to climb Mount Everest? Be an astronaut? Move Heaven and Earth? 

When will I ever be good enough for her? Tell me, how can I find mine? If not the girl I'm with now than who?


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Spiderpig
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15 Feb 2016, 10:15 pm

I can't tell you that. I have to salute you, as I'm like an older, lazier and less prepared version of yourself who stayed in his parents' home till they decided to send him away to do a pseudo-job which, while thinly mimicking an independent adult life, marks him as mentally disabled and can't change the fact that he's completely unprepared for basically anything else.

So feel free to dismiss anything I say. Fortunately, logic is the same no matter who applies it. So, if others do find the love of their life, and they can't find a girl who is absolutely perfect, it follows that the love of their life doesn't need to be absolutely perfect.


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100000fireflies
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15 Feb 2016, 10:37 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
I'm not planning to date other girls, I'm just upset that she's not tall and skinny and not.

I'm not saying that guys should plan to date other girls while they're with the girlfriend, what I'm saying is that once you're in a committed relationship, you may lose many opportunities to date other women. What if you never notice the love of your life, because you're too busy doting on your girlfriend?


And what if she's right there and you're so busy looking for the grass is greener trophy girl that you completely blow it?


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RetroGamer87
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16 Feb 2016, 12:35 am

I hate how my phone's autocorrect ruins my posts :(


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Beau
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16 Feb 2016, 1:44 am

waynet7 wrote:
I have seen two topics brought up in this thread:
1. Money-
I had the pleasure of knowing both of my grandfathers. One was dirt poor. He never said an unkind word about anyone, his family was his life, and he would always be ready with a joke or kind words at all times. Even when my grandmother was living her tragic last days. He died in 2003.
The other was obsessed with making a buck, would share nothing with anyone if he deemed that it had so much as a penny of worth, was critical of many, and had poor family relations. He died last month. He had no will (possibly by design). We estimate his worth at @50 million. They adorned his body with a neck tie covered in dollar signs at the visitation.
I put forth the questions: Who do you think was truly 'rich' and who was truly 'happy'?

2. Relationships-
I have been married 11 years, and dated my wife for seven years. Neither of us has ever truly been happy. Lessons learned:
1.Two generally unhappy people hooking up will equal an unhappy couple.
2.Another person cannot and will not make you happy, although a good partner will stand with you in rough times, and will enhance and sustain your pre-existing happiness.
3.The MOST IMPORTANT relationship is the one we have with the person we see in the mirror every day. This is the one relationship that DOES have the power to make you happy! Try dating that person first!


Wise words, waynet7. I found your 'dirt poor' grandfather to be the one who was both rich and happy.


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RetroGamer87
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16 Feb 2016, 4:32 am

Ok so I get that I've been focusing too much on looks and I get that personality is more important than looks but here's my question. Let's say out of the general population, at a very rough guess, say 80% of them will pair up. 40% will consider the other 40% to be the "love of their life" and vice versa. Many of these 80% may base this decision on personality. Disregarding looks they may think they've found a partner with a one in a million personality. But how can everyone from 80% of the population be better than the other 99.9999%?

What I mean is, most people pair up with someone they consider to be a most excellent partner. Most people. Most average people. That means most average people be average partners to other average people and vice versa.

I don't mean to focus only on looks. You could measure by looks, personality, charisma, intelligence, whatever, or a combination of everything.

What I'm getting at is, if only 1% of the population has an amazing personality, then how can 80% of the population think they're with someone who has an amazing personality or is amazing in some other way?

Find the love of your life? No matter if you measure by personality or looks or other traits, that sounds like the love of your life must be the best of the best. But how can the majority of people, having found the love of their life, also be considered the love of their life by their partner.

How can the majority of ordinary average people have someone who thinks they're the best of the best? How can these ordinary, average people have someone who thinks of them so highly? Who admires them so much?

If we all held out for that one in a million partner, wouldn't that mean that only one in a million people would have a partner?


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Bluelaggongirl
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16 Feb 2016, 8:46 pm

Retrogamer87- What if you're perfectly average? What if you're not a looker? What if the girls you consider to be super-hot are empirically only kinda-sorta-maybe-hot-after-four-beers?

As long as you're happy, why does it matter if your partner is one in a dozen or one in a million?



RetroGamer87
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16 Feb 2016, 9:17 pm

I probably am average. So since I'm average how can any girl see me as a catch?

How does the average guy get the girl or vice versa?


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Spiderpig
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17 Feb 2016, 12:53 am

I'm pretty sure that, if the social pressure to be monogamous ever vanishes completely, many more men will be unable to find a partner, as the vast majority of women will stick to the few most desirable men. And this is the way things ought to be---noöne has any business telling anyone else whom they should choose as a partner.


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Peacesells
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17 Feb 2016, 4:12 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
All those years of work and sweat and pain and sacrifice, just so I could attract B-Class women.

It's really sad that you talk of your woman like this... :(



sly279
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17 Feb 2016, 4:47 pm

Peacesells wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
All those years of work and sweat and pain and sacrifice, just so I could attract B-Class women.

It's really sad that you talk of your woman like this... :(

Indeed. He wants status not love.
I don't classify women.



RetroGamer87
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17 Feb 2016, 7:05 pm

sly279 wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
All those years of work and sweat and pain and sacrifice, just so I could attract B-Class women.

It's really sad that you talk of your woman like this... :(

Indeed. He wants status not love.
I don't classify women.

I need status to survive in a judgemental world.


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