Feeling undatable
slw1990 wrote:
Just saw your post Stressed Out. Gosh. Those people are probably trying to bully you into quitting. They probably want to bully you so much, little by little, that at some point you will think it's not worth working there. Horrible people who enjoy making fun of others and tormenting them. Reminds me of the audience on Jerry Springer. And then if you tell a supervisor/manager, those people will become even more abusive, or stop talking to you, or increase their nasty staring, to the extent that everyday at work they will make you feel very sad. They will eat away at you, slowly destroying you, making you depressed, angry, etc. They're little sociopaths.
hellowp wrote:
AsahiPto17 wrote:
How does one even go about seeking out someone with Asperger's irl? I never found a real clear answer on that, except "look in libraries" or "go to meetup groups".
Isn't it kinda apparent to you, as you meet people, if they have or don't have Aspergers? If not right away, then after a little time. You could simply gravitate to people who seem to, and spend more time with them, and not waste time/effort on highly extroverted people. For example, in some classes, it becomes clear to me kinda quickly who "likely has Aspergers" and who doesn't. And then you meet people, talk, spend time together, and it becomes more clear. Or you could just try to find people like yourself.
I can't tell if someone has AS or not. None of the signs really standout to me.
hellowp wrote:
slw1990 wrote:
Just saw your post Stressed Out. Gosh. Those people are probably trying to bully you into quitting. They probably want to bully you so much, little by little, that at some point you will think it's not worth working there. Horrible people who enjoy making fun of others and tormenting them. Reminds me of the audience on Jerry Springer. And then if you tell a supervisor/manager, those people will become even more abusive, or stop talking to you, or increase their nasty staring, to the extent that everyday at work they will make you feel very sad. They will eat away at you, slowly destroying you, making you depressed, angry, etc. They're little sociopaths.
The first thing I jumped to was thinking they were nasty people too. I have a low opinion of most people in that environment, because they act like sociopaths. Those are the kind of people who've been trained from childhood to be little worker sociopaths. The whole "ganging up on someone different and trying to manipulate them into leaving by making you feel bad" thing seems totally plausible to me. That's why I'd really prefer not to work in a corporate setting, unless it was for a place like 37signals where the owners are actually smart enough to actually setup a sane work environment.
Quote:
Isn't it kinda apparent to you, as you meet people, if they have or don't have Aspergers? If not right away, then after a little time. You could simply gravitate to people who seem to, and spend more time with them, and not waste time/effort on highly extroverted people. For example, in some classes, it becomes clear to me kinda quickly who "likely has Aspergers" and who doesn't. And then you meet people, talk, spend time together, and it becomes more clear. Or you could just try to find people like yourself.
I don't think I've met one before, I'm pretty reserved though... I don't really get how to meet people, or feel motivated enough to push through my anxiety enough to actually do it.
Quote:
Have you had friends/dates with people with Aspergers? (Are you speculating they would act that way toward you, or is it that you've actually experienced this).
Curious when you became aware you have Aspergers?
Curious when you became aware you have Aspergers?
Yes, I was friends with a couple of girls on the spectrum. I didn't mean to make it sound like they were mean to me. One stopped talking and she would say things and sometimes it seemed like she would say things and not follow through. I remember she said the reason why she stopped talking was something like I would be somewhere else when she made plans. I didn't really understand it because I would sometimes be busy when she wanted to do something, but I wouldn't do it to play games or anything and it seemed like she thought that I was. Me and the other girl kind of just drifted apart, but we've still been friendly the times that we would run into each other. There's still a few people that I'm friends with now that are on the spectrum too. I use to be in a LDR with a guy on the spectrum too. I had some trust issues with him and when he said things that didn't add up it caused me to get upset and he wouldn't really seem to explain things to me and them I would get more upset. Maybe part of that was my fault for overreacting. He also didn't seem very interested in me like maybe he just wanted a girlfriend. Then he eventually told me that he didn't want a LDR and then about a week later we stopped talking all together.
I was diagnosed when I was little.
Sabreclaw wrote:
There's plenty of single people on the spectrum on this site. If you're willing to try dating sites then I'm sure you can tolerate searching for guys here. And if things go wrong there's the added advantage that they'll probably make some passing comments about it which would help the rest of us better understand why you have difficulties.
I would. I just worry about misleading someone.
Quote:
Just saw your post Stressed Out. Gosh. Those people are probably trying to bully you into quitting. They probably want to bully you so much, little by little, that at some point you will think it's not worth working there. Horrible people who enjoy making fun of others and tormenting them. Reminds me of the audience on Jerry Springer. And then if you tell a supervisor/manager, those people will become even more abusive, or stop talking to you, or increase their nasty staring, to the extent that everyday at work they will make you feel very sad. They will eat away at you, slowly destroying you, making you depressed, angry, etc. They're little sociopaths.
Yeah, I mostly try to avoid them if I can. They don't really make fun of me, but they would invade my personal space and bump into me sometimes. Someone was messing with my rear view mirror. Maybe it's a vandal and jsut a coincidence, but I think it might be someone at work There are a lot of people at work that act pretty nice to me though
Last edited by slw1990 on 23 Feb 2016, 12:32 pm, edited 3 times in total.
slw1990 wrote:
It seems like a lot of people, especially guys, act very uncomfortable and serious around me. They avoid looking at me, give me strange looks and act indifferent towards me while acting very friendly towards other people. A lot of people seem to target me and feel sorry for me too and I'm not going to be able to relate to someone if they feel sorry for me. I know some people are jerks and I try to avoid them, but it seems like a lot of people that really are nice treat me differently too like they are creeped out by me or something. The few guys that seem interested in me seem like they might just want to use me and lose interest once another girl is around. I think part of what might creep people out is that I'm so soft spoken, but I don't always realize how quiet I really am. I usually have pretty good posture though and I smile if someone else is smiles back, but a lot of people still feel sorry for me. Any advice would be appreciated.
Wear short skirts.
No seriously. It works quite well!
slw1990 wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
There's plenty of single people on the spectrum on this site. If you're willing to try dating sites then I'm sure you can tolerate searching for guys here. And if things go wrong there's the added advantage that they'll probably make some passing comments about it which would help the rest of us better understand why you have difficulties.
I think I would. I just worry about misleading someone.
You shouldn't worry about such nonsense. It's their fault if they misinterpret you.
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Sabreclaw wrote:
slw1990 wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
There's plenty of single people on the spectrum on this site. If you're willing to try dating sites then I'm sure you can tolerate searching for guys here. And if things go wrong there's the added advantage that they'll probably make some passing comments about it which would help the rest of us better understand why you have difficulties.
I think I would. I just worry about misleading someone.
You shouldn't worry about such nonsense. It's their fault if they misinterpret you.
By misleading do you mean making someone think you like them more than you do? Or something else, like people wanting a certain something. Or something else altogether, like maybe just not understanding each other and their intentions? Regardless I agree that you shouldn't worry so much about if people get the wrong idea, if that happens you could just tell them what's what. As far as people misleading you that's a bit trickier... I guess you'd just have to go slowly and pay careful attention to people and try to get a good "read" on them over time.
PS, I hope things with people at work being weird clears up for you
AR15000 wrote:
slw1990 wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
You shouldn't worry about such nonsense. It's their fault if they misinterpret you.
I just worry because I've done it before by accident and it has also happened to me.
Wear Short Skirts.
It works!
No, it doesn't (at least not exclusively).
AR15000 wrote:
slw1990 wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
You shouldn't worry about such nonsense. It's their fault if they misinterpret you.
I just worry because I've done it before by accident and it has also happened to me.
Wear Short Skirts.
It works!
This is oversimplified, idiotic, and not helpful advice. All this would do is attract the wrong sort of guy.
_________________
"Ego non immanis, sed mea immanis telum." ~ Ares, God of War
(Note to Moderators: my warning number is wrong on my profile but apparently can't be fixed so I will note here that it is actually 2, not 3--the warning issued to me on Aug 20 2016 was a mistake but I've been told it can't be removed.)
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