I am feeling ashamed of myself

Post Reply New Topic

So aspie women are same as nt women and won't date aspie men. Because they have problems, i.e. Have a disiably called aspergers. Meh. Yet I'm to beleive women are similar op when even women here demand the same things women where I live do. Even if they may never have those things themselves, everyone can be middle class probably only 25% of the USA is middle class. Most are poor people. Shouldn't poor people date other poor people instead of hoping that some middle class wanna be will date them.

Really only thing I can do is kill myself.

I work hard as I can. But I get exhausted after working 6 hours and traveling for 4 hours, both mentally and physically. The anxiety and stress is too much. I go home every day worried it's my last. My "problems" I have a social disorder that makes socializing hard and well 90% of the job market is based on how well you socialize not how hard you work.

How do you know this if you never had sex in your teenage years either? I guess I'm just in denial because you're making me feel like it's already too late for me to enjoy a fun sexual experience.

You have about 5 more years at max.

I did have sex in my teenage years. It wasn't as good as later sex!

I did have sex in my teenage years. It wasn't as good as later sex!

How am I coming across as patronizing? I don't see logic in that statement. I'm just talking about what I experienced.

I have learned, over the years, that in a considerable quantity of cases, one must have lived something in order to have experienced it.

I find approaching women with disabilities like hearing loss and autism, and other related disabilities seems too difficult to make a decent conversation with. They are really hypersensitive and overwhelming than the NT women. NT women are more calmer and are listeners. That why we made friends easier because we listen to each others. The ones with disabilities always being aggressive to me and doesn't interest me in conversations. I am not saying they are boring, but they just trying to be like one.

The NT ones, they can be challenging to me but it more problem on their side of understanding my unique traits and that. They don't blame me and stuff for my behaviour. They are learning about me. But again, it still difficult to get a date with them because they all see me as good friend. I don't know how to find a girlfriend like this?

Sometimes it so hard to get rid of the feeling of being ashamed as being late bloomer at 25. I mean like I am very shocked and surprised seeing myself being in this situation, as being abnormal to rest of my peers and people around the same age. I am not sure what behind other people's lives.

Its really bothering me when I don't have connection with someone, I see its really confusing women is that because of my communication challenges which that cannot be fixed. I have been called as 'special person' few times because of my uniqueness, traits, passion and inspiring things.

Though its would be so stubborn being a late bloomer at this 'special'. I felt so furious of why missing out on certain things?

I extrapolated it from things I did experience as a teenager. Like this time, when I was 16, when me and my friends went to a carnival, and met some girls. We all clicked almost instantly. Later, when it got cold, the girl I was talking to said: "Come on, keep me warm!", and pressed up against me in a side hug. Wow!! ! I felt a massive surge of oxytocin flood through me and hit me in the head. It took me the rest of the night and the next day to recover from it. I felt like I was on Ecstasy. I can only imagine how my body would've reacted if that girl had sex with me: I'd probably pass out in her bed or something.

I ended up losing my virginity to an escort when I was 22. While I was on Cloud 9 for nearly a week, looking back, I couldn't help but feel like something was missing, almost a "too little, too late" kind of feeling. And like I said, the oxytocin rush of young romance/sex was replaced by the adrenaline rush of looking out for police cars. Just not the same.

Growing into an (older) adult, it really feels like you become desensitized for romantic feelings. I can no longer feel 'giddy' as when I was younger. The last time I felt a crush or some kind of infatuation is years ago. Perhaps it has to do with the endless rejections and humiliations causing me to lose hope and make me bitter.

On the other hand, this desensitization process occurs in other areas in life as well. Fun events and things like that just don't make me as happy anymore as in my younger years. Alot of the older NT's I speak feel the same thing actually.

"shame" is in the domain of the superego, and i do not have one of those.
i have learned many definitions of "shame", but none of them apply to anything i ever experienced.

I am just sick and tired of people telling me "she will come along", "you will be fine" and these related quotes. There are no hard earned evidence showing that it is 110% going to happen when I want it 110%. I don't understand why people say that to me.

Why of wanting a relationship because I am older now is too hard, while other people are easier? I don't know how I am such a bad luck. I hate being a bad luck, and that not what I want. I don't deserve this. I have a great life. I done so many great things for myself and the world. I am motivated person doing lots of things. I have been to international stage of public speaking, this again happening next week!

So why I deserve to miss out on this? Why women doesn't like me? I thought I am likable person because I done good things and I always look after myself. I couldn't believe I kept carrying on missing out important things in past 6 years. Because my age gets older, the more rejections I become prone to. I never been unhappy when come to this. But I fear I would become unhappy if I have no luck in next five years until age of 30 because I become like this when lacking biological and closeness connection with someone. It melts your heart and make great feelings.

So tell me why I am such a bad luck?

I don't think you're bad luck. I think you're self-loathing and intolerant of others and have an inflated sense of self.

You've got significant communications challenges on top of being an Aspie (Rnglish as a second language, hearing loss, etc) and flat-out refuse to consider dating the girls who are most likely to be understanding of those challenges, i.e. girls with disabilities too.

You won't consider dating girls with similar challenges because it's too much work... yet don't see that non-disabled girls who refuse to date you because of your challenges are doing the same damn thing. Ironic, dontcha think?

You've never been on a date and need to start someplace - why not speed dating at a local pub or internet dating via a free website like OKC or POF? why not ask friends to set you up?

And, for lack of a better word, lower your standard -- if the girl is single and cute, go on a date. Even if she isn't necessarily someone you'd consider (way down the line) marrying. The longer you leave dating, the weirder and harder it'll be!

Ok this is like 1000th time I told everyone about dating. I tried all dating websites including paid ones. I gave up on them because I got banned for being a fake profiler. I got confused with that. All women kept ignoring my messages, and also none of them message to me. I showed to people of what they think of my profiles, and they said its totally fine. Never had a problem.

For speed dating, I tried that too. Didn't work out because of my hearing issues its way too fast. Missed the questions before end of the time. Its way too fast. I got depressed at end of that night because none of the women talked to me, despite they learnt that I have trouble hearing them.

I tried asking girls out who have disabilities too. They have same rejections as NT and non disabled ones. I never seem attract women at all. My family and friends say to me I am not ugly nor over poshed looks. I just don't get women to attract me for some weird reason. I think my communication challenges turns them off. Which that I can't fix, since its not curable. I always get friend zoned. They ended up as good friends to me.

So it something to do how women see me as a friend because I am too good person?

Nothing wrong with being a good person, even if it doesn't get you dates.

I wouldn't advocate becoming an as*hole just to get dates.

Good things come to those who wait.

You have friends. That's a good thing. Maybe it's time to count your blessings?

Or try a new dating site and only send one message to any girl, so you won't get banned from it this time around. (If hove been banned from more than one site, I have to assume it's because you did something wrong).

Not sure if this helps but I was on okcupid for 1 and a half years before I met someone and on other dating sites for a year before that. It took me time to find the right person.