Friendzone

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Perhaps they assume that because it's true most of the time, despite exceptions.

However, if "ghosting" the girl isn't right, because you're not "fooling" anyone, what are you supposed to do? Keep hanging out with her as a "friend" even if you don't want to? Keep telling her you want more than friendship so she can charge you with harassment or get you beaten up by some tough guy she is actually into? It looks like you just can't win.

Or you could act like an adult, make your peace and move on.

Infatuation, eh? A girl won't go out with you so you accuse her of being a stalker*. Which completely validates her decision, and frankly any such decision a girl makes until you stop being so petty.

*And what does a man call a woman who won't engage in sexual activity with him? That's right, a slut.

Banebear, i found this thread:
viewtopic.php?f=23&t=70427&start=240
It probably has far more suggestions than i could give. The best i think i could say is learning how to simply be okay with yourself. You aren't The Best looking? Most aren't. You aren't the Most accomplished? Same thing.
Basically, for everything you aren't, remember there's still something you are or can be. For the things you really don't like about yourself, list them out - can they be changed? If so, make a plan to work on changing them. For the others, work on simply accepting them as part of you. You don't have to love them, just merely be okay.
For some, be it due to nature or nurture, meds are needed.. E.g. people with body dysmorphic disorder.. It doesn't matter wat they really look like, all they will ever see is ugly. For some, cbt therapy to reroute thought patterns; for some, simply trying to improve works.

Either route, i think that part of no longer spending ample energy seeking her, and instead, trying to focus on enjoying life as it is can be also distracts the mind from endless self-directed tirades. There is something to be said for someone liking us helping boost self-confidence. But - if we put all our confidence in the hands of another, they also have the power to completely crush. So finding some way, whether the suggestions in the link, or other, to even reach a mild being okay with who/what you are now, particularly when combined with effort and reminder that you are working toward who/what you want to be..can give an inner strength that is appealing to others; but it also keeps your heart from being slaughtered by every outside source that may (or may not) give validation.

There also are a lot of books now on acceptance - used for anxiety, depression, and simply life itself. I'm not sure which in particular might help, but maybe one would.

Sorry if this wasn't much of an answer.. Perhaps a new post requesting suggestions on how to find ways to be okay with yourself might get more ideas than i can offer...it's a broad concept, so not a simple answer. But, if you could think of one particular thing is troubling you about yourself, it would be easier to find suggestions for that (i.e. step 1).

One other thing i was thinking though - you mentioned the game girls all being many miles away. Perhaps you could use this to your advantage? By having conversations and long distance friendships, it could be a good, safe way to practice and start feeling less like you have 0 experience and 0 idea about females, and instead, think of it as a 101 course on interacting with and learning about the girls who are similar to ones you would want to date.. It may also help with confidence as some may find you nice, funny, interesting, etc..when all you're really doing is being yourself.

Yes you need confidence but confidence can come from different places. Many will say "be yourself ". You could try that and it may work for you. If it doesn't work, try something else. 

The girl I'm dating now says she likes that I "have my sh*t together". She says she likes that I have my own place, my own car and a job. Her ex had none of these things. She left him.

I'm not saying girls only care about money but they need stability in their life. From money comes a sense of safety. Remember girls want to feel safe. Most of all they want to feel comfortable with the guy they're with.

Honestly, I want to date very much. But right now I am dealing with severe depression and anxiety to the point of constant worrying, suicidal thoughts, and self harm. My arm is covered in scratches and my soul is quite wounded. I am in no position to date because I don't feel safe or loving of myself, less alone another human.

You know Aaendi, it's kinda crazy how you keep saying you're not a sexist or misogynist, and yet all you do is talk about your troubles with women.

But I suppose you would know about crazy, huh?

Been nearly 3 years and you still haven't learned from it.

I want to explain a little bit more. I don't know what kind of friendzone the OP is in but here's what to do if you're in the friend zone:

Step 1) Try to be friends. Hang out. Go see a movie together or go bowling. Try not to show any romantic interest in her. If you are so attracted to her that you cannot stand it, then I don't know what to tell you. If you want to be on the safe side, it's good if she is your friend.

2) If you've tried being friends with her, and she doesn't respond, it's time to make other friends, or ask out other women, and just forget about her.

3) Now if you tried being friends, you've tried ignoring her, but she happens to be an as*hole and is trying to ruin your life, then do whatever it takes to fight back.

The friend zone is where a woman puts you when she's too passive aggressive to tell you she isn't attracted to you.

Okay, how is not telling them and having them have false hope better? Also, he they are that worried about getting hurt if they don't tell the guy odds are he'll get aggressive anyway one way or the other. It could happen from her ignoring him, or continuing to tell him she's "busy". Hey here's a great idea, lets have a guy have false hope and just start to talk to them less and less so they waste their time. It's stupid, very, very stupid.

I had one woman in my whole life straight up tell me she found someone else. You know what, I respected her for telling me. I met her on a dating site and she was big into fitness. Surprise a woman into fitness is more assertive. Anyway, I wasn't even upset because her and I didn't have much in common outside of fitness.