Ban-Dodger wrote:
You are definitely, absolutely, completely, and totally, entirely taking life too seriously, and putting far too much of your feelings into the external factor of having a partner. I tell you what to do now. Next time you see a group who's talking, especially if there are any pretty girls amongst them, you walk up to an area near the group where they can see you, such as strutting your stuff up right in front of them, then you PROUDLY EXCLAIM...:
"I see a group ! Time for some flexing now ! ;D" ...then you start doing this like, flexing routine, such as how a professional body-builder might show off in front of the crowd as one of the arsenals that you can use as an ice-breaker. I find that it makes the pretty ladies manage to laugh quite frequently. Remember watching the movie : "Who framed Roger Rabbit ?" Remember when that detective-type character in the movie asked Jessica what she saw in that wabbit ? Well, her answer was basically, that he makes her laugh...
...anyway, I will tell you the secret as to why you are not having any success in being able to attract a partner, and that entirely has to do with the fact that you have not developed your confidence-building routines. I can tell you for a fact that, because I am just bursting with confidence, that there are always a bunch of ladies who keep on hiding in my closets and trunks of my cars and other hidden places just to jump on top of me all of a sudden and beg me for ludicrous amounts of sex (okay, the last line was something that I actually picked up from one of those marketers, but hey, exaggerating is what some people do when they're on a roll after all).
All that matters is that you build up your skills in order (what I mean by this is NO skipping; you go from white belt to yellow then orange and green and blue and red and brown or whatever other colours that they use depending on the market-version of a martial arts system before you get to black-belt levels of abilities). From what I see you aren't doing anything to get them wanting to ask you questions about you.
Take your guitar with you if you must, you can even randomly go up to a group and sing about me if you want, just make sure that the lyrics are hilarious of course, something like : "A group! A group! You know what this means? It's time to sing... because today is National Randomly Sing in Front of a Group so We can All Become Friends Day! Hurray! Hurray! (Encore, encore, etc)" Make an entire song of conversation-inviting lyrics and practice it a lot at home before you go out if you must and you'll have a much easier time becoming "popular" for what it's worth which will automatically increase your exposure to social-circles which will in turn help bring you a step closer to eventually being able to be introduced by one of those people to a potential possible partner.
CONFIDENCE, pal, WORK on the creative ways to pull it off. That is the one thing that we Autistics typically have far more to our advantage than the typical NTs, that we are supposed to have the ability to be creative in our methods for problem-solving, lest we try to act like biological-robots...
The f****d up culture I grew up in destroyed my confidence. It beat me, both physically and mentally, into the ground and tried to make me love the pain but it only made me feel like I was being killed.
30 Jun 2016, 7:55 pm
