Women: What do you want to hear when a man approches you

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nurseangela
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08 Jul 2016, 8:55 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I don't wear any sort of ring. I never have.

I haven't been approached by a gay man for over 30 years.


He prob thought you were cute. How was he supposed to know you are straight since you don't wear a ring?


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08 Jul 2016, 9:08 pm

seaweed wrote:
about the progression though, for example, a few days ago i went to buy a bottle of wine and the cashier had a super crazy septum piercing. so i commented on its design and he said thanks and that it was really meant to be a women's earring, then i noticed a tattoo of a devilish goat creature on his forearm so i commented on that too. turns out he's a tattoo artist and a painter, and since i'm an artist too we got to talking about art, he showed me a pic of a painting he'd just done so i showed him a pic of a metal piece i'm working on. then he said,

well i'm about to go on break, would you like to hang out with me while i have a cigarette?

so i said sure, and the convo went on from there, just talking about where we are both from and other similar interests. got his number too; we're gonna do a collaborative art project soon!

this is just an example of an A+ progression of conversation. the key here is a mutual interest and no unwanted sexual gestures or insinuations even though i could tell he thought i was attractive.


Good example. But, you approached him really. You commented on his piercing and all he had to do was roll with the progression tactfully. But you initiated with the guy who was just doing his job. From his perspective that would turn out to be chance-- some girl came into the store today and started talking to me... Obviously a very helpful example nonetheless, but not an "approach".



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08 Jul 2016, 9:11 pm

Alliekit wrote:
314pe wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Well if we're keeping within the context of this thread, I don't ask out random guys I've just met. I'm more cautious. I tend to stick to people I've got a sense of by knowing them through activities or mutual friends.

Personally, I like meeting new people. Even if you don't get along well, you get new perspectives on things. And I'm not talking about dates only but in general. For example, it always surprises me how on various events people always tend to stay with with their group rather than mingle.


I would be way to frightened to approach people I don't know. If I'm put I will stick to my friends and like hide behind them.


Yep, corner somewhere please... :lol: Events are terrifying.



Outrider
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08 Jul 2016, 9:22 pm

Men don't typically own stores, and not all of us want to flirt at work or not allowed to nor work at a placw where many people our own age are anyway or our co-workers are only men.

Men can't showcase their hobbies/interests in the streets or in most social environments.

Plus, women typically do not mke the 1st move.

Your scenario Seaweed is unlikely as it is a dream come true for many males (woman approachng US and being impressed by our favorite hobby? Come on!)



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08 Jul 2016, 9:36 pm

"ravioli ravioli give me the formuoli"

That's what women want to hear when you approach them.


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seaweed
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08 Jul 2016, 11:46 pm

beakybird wrote:
seaweed wrote:
about the progression though, for example, a few days ago i went to buy a bottle of wine and the cashier had a super crazy septum piercing. so i commented on its design and he said thanks and that it was really meant to be a women's earring, then i noticed a tattoo of a devilish goat creature on his forearm so i commented on that too. turns out he's a tattoo artist and a painter, and since i'm an artist too we got to talking about art, he showed me a pic of a painting he'd just done so i showed him a pic of a metal piece i'm working on. then he said,

well i'm about to go on break, would you like to hang out with me while i have a cigarette?

so i said sure, and the convo went on from there, just talking about where we are both from and other similar interests. got his number too; we're gonna do a collaborative art project soon!

this is just an example of an A+ progression of conversation. the key here is a mutual interest and no unwanted sexual gestures or insinuations even though i could tell he thought i was attractive.


Good example. But, you approached him really. You commented on his piercing and all he had to do was roll with the progression tactfully. But you initiated with the guy who was just doing his job. From his perspective that would turn out to be chance-- some girl came into the store today and started talking to me... Obviously a very helpful example nonetheless, but not an "approach".


sorry for quoting all the text (I'm on mobile)
but actually he said something about me looking tired or "long day huh?" or something before I commented on his piercing. I didn't include it because I can't really remember what he said. and it was only meant to be an example of a good progression anyways, but still you're right, he was just doing his job which made it easier for him and I still did technically approach him just by being a customer in the first place. although tbh, I was about to get on my way..I would not have stuck around and ended up exchanging contact info unless he proposed that I hang out with him while he had his cigarette, so I think that has some extra merit.
also I don't think the approach has such a specific method that will usually work or not work, and I know it's hard for us autistic people to read others in social situations, but I think as long as you're being genuine and respectful it will get you farther than if you're so focused on following a method of pursuit that you may forget to treat people like unique individuals.



The_Face_of_Boo
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09 Jul 2016, 12:52 am

Quote:
ravioli ravioli give me the formuoli

That's what women want to hear when you approach them.


Ravioli is everyone's weakness...



lidsmichelle
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09 Jul 2016, 12:55 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Quote:
ravioli ravioli give me the formuoli

That's what women want to hear when you approach them.


Ravioli is everyone's weakness...


:lol:


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Commadore1
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09 Jul 2016, 4:36 pm

Its hard to cold approach, gets easier and more comfortable the more you try though. Seems like some days im on fire and others im weird as hell.

Right before i decide to try to talk to a woman i dont i know i say to myself " if i pull some awkward s**t, chances are ill never see her again".


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The_Face_of_Boo
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11 Jul 2016, 2:14 am

Most guys are giving up the cold approach thing.

I am not seeing any guys doing it, not in bars, not in pubs, in gyms, not in pools , not in anywhere.

And this is good, all guys should stop it.



Magthidon
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12 Jul 2016, 3:27 am

tldr version? Life is complicated. :cry:



314pe
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12 Jul 2016, 4:52 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I think it depends upon the woman....and the mood of the woman. Obviously, if a woman has headphones on, it means "DO NOT APPROACH."

Yes, but unfortunately all younger people (and a lot of older) people have this "do not approach" vibe because they're constantly on their phones.



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13 Jul 2016, 6:31 pm

Easy. All he'd have to do is approach me with his 3DS and ask if I want to battle him in Pokemon.