Do you think people flirt at you without you noticing?

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ShesGone
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20 Jul 2016, 11:04 pm

slw1990 wrote:
Maybe because I can't always tell whether someone is just being friendly...
People would say that if he's someone who's friendly to every being, and friendly to you too, that means nothing. However, after reflecting on my own behaviors, I knew that's not true. I'm as friendly to plain acquaintances as someone I have slight feelings for to the point where nobody knows whom I'm interested in. In other words, if a friendly guy is being friendly to you, it could be either flirting at you or being friendly to you. So your confusion is understandable.


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MadFialka
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21 Jul 2016, 1:54 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
How did you commence a relationship with him without flirting? 

We were friends for about a year before we became friends with benefits (thanks to a night involving too much alcohol), and then that turned into an actual relationship. I'd only dated a handful of people before that, and the longest I dated anyone for was maybe two or three months, so this is my first relationship. Going on five years now, which is pretty amazing, but I think the fact that we were friends first, and still are, first and foremost, is how we've lasted this long. And because he was way too stubborn to give up on me! So we "commenced a relationship" in a weird way I wouldn't recommend, even though it just so happened to work out for me. :lol: Sorry that's so unhelpful!

As far as getting dates before this though... I eventually just got tired of waiting for the guys I was into to show interest, and I didn't really know how to flirt, so I took the direct approach: I asked them out. I'd find something specific, like a movie, or museum exhibit, or live band I wanted to see and I'd invite them. And it usually worked out... at least to get that first date.



lidsmichelle
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21 Jul 2016, 3:59 am

I've bee told people flirt with me, but unless someone's being insanely obvious and/or creepy I dont really notice. I don't really flirt either though. I'm too direct for that.


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hurtloam
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21 Jul 2016, 1:43 pm

Please listen to me young men. Do not go around kissing women's hands. It's creepy.



The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Jul 2016, 2:03 pm

^ It is not creepy in France.
(More hover-kissing than real kissing)



kraftiekortie
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21 Jul 2016, 2:06 pm

If you offer a hand to a woman, and she pulls back, you know she doesn't want her hand kissed.

Most women, especially those over a certain age, are charmed by a man offering to kiss her hand.

And don't call me "creepy!" LOL

Because I'm not "creepy." People tend to trust me in real life.



The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Jul 2016, 2:08 pm

And in rural Turkey and Philippines, young people kiss elders' hands of either gender out of respect.
In Levant it is often done to clerics (devout Shiites kiss the "ring") in some sects.



Nine7752
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21 Jul 2016, 2:25 pm

I have definitely made a career out of missing people flirt with me. It has to be really obvious, no, actually even then it's not clear. Part of this is missing cues, part is not feeling like someone would be interested in me, part is having low drive, and part is believing (despite better evidence) that female-ish people don't want intimacy, at least with me.

But, over time the missed opportunities make great "what-if" scenarios when you get older.

Nowadays I don't care if people are flirting with me because I'm partnered up and don't want any trouble. At this point it's a trait of myself that I really appreciate, because I'm risk averse.


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Cady93
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21 Jul 2016, 2:47 pm

Yea I'm pretty sure someone has flirted with me without me noticing. Don't remember who though. i wish I could :( :heart:



The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Jul 2016, 3:02 pm

This is an off-topic cultural educational post since hand-kissing was brought up :lol:


In Turkey:

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In Arabia (often to kings/princes and clerics):

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In Philippines, they call this gesture Mano:

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In Indonesia - very common:

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Even in schools.
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Malaysia:

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Note sure where, looks like a Central Asian/Turkic culture, maybe Azerbaijan or Kazakhstan:

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Lebanon and Levant (Reflecting our politics...):
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I think this is in Brunei

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Morocco:

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Peacesells
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21 Jul 2016, 3:33 pm

Wow Boo, so many pics. Have you just gathered them up or you already had them salved in your PC for some reason? :P



The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Jul 2016, 3:35 pm

Peacesells wrote:
Wow Boo, so many pics. Have you just gathered them up or you already had them salved in your PC for some reason? :P



-___- duh...

Just googled them - but I am familiar with some of these cultures so I knew where to look.



hurtloam
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21 Jul 2016, 4:01 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
If you offer a hand to a woman, and she pulls back, you know she doesn't want her hand kissed.

Most women, especially those over a certain age, are charmed by a man offering to kiss her hand.

And don't call me "creepy!" LOL

Because I'm not "creepy." People tend to trust me in real life.


Oh hang on. Sorry. Possible cultural differences. In the UK we are very protective of our personal space and don't really want to share saliva with acquaintances.

Also, not sure younger women would like it. Just be cautious young men.



The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Jul 2016, 4:03 pm

^^ Come to me, let's share saliva.

Image



WannaBeNT
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21 Jul 2016, 5:02 pm

TBH, if you are anywhere on the spectrum I think it's very likely you were unaware that someone was flirting with you unless it was glaringly, concretely obvious--and perhaps not even then.

Case in point:

Many years ago I ran into an unfamiliar grocery store with my best friend (NT) to purchase cookie-making ingredients. After several minutes of wandering around, a clerk asked me if I needed help. I quickly said, "Yes, please! Where's the brown sugar?"

Smiling, the man pointed to himself and replied, "Right here!" (with a wink)

I stood there, staring at him with my mouth open, because I was sure there was a misunderstanding and I couldn't think of any other way to specify brown sugar, not brown human, without looking like an idiot. My best friend walked up to us and told him not to mind me, that I was clueless, then he laughed too and directed us to the baking aisle.

And that is how I learned that some African American men refer to themselves as brown sugar. I looked the term up in Urban Dictionary, which sites the phrase as female-specific, but evidently males in some circles use the term too. My best friend also informed me that his body language was very flirtatious, but I missed that as well. :(


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RetroGamer87
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21 Jul 2016, 5:10 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Most women, especially those over a certain age, are charmed by a man offering to kiss her hand.
And if they're under 40 or you're under 40 don't do it :lol:
Nine7752 wrote:
But, over time the missed opportunities make great "what-if" scenarios when you get older.
They sure do! :D
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^^ Come to me, let's share saliva.

Image


At last we see the real face of Boo!


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