Girlfriend anxiety

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It such a shame most of the time knowing myself not getting a girlfriend nor sex because I am 25 and half. I haven't spend time thinking about it nor asking someone out lately. I have been focusing on getting a job and make networks because I just recently graduated from my Masters degree.

Some days I feel shameful of have zero experience with women, while hearing so many people already done stuff and relationships around my age. My mind is so repetitive on things because I am trying to find solutions how to get rid of this barrier obstacle.

I am totally confused by other people behaviours of being severely pressured and depressed still managed to get relationships and sex. At the same time they view me desperate and that. I see this mirrors of myself being marginalised and stigmatised in the social world because it is my perspective. I have no problem hanging out with friends, attend meetings, join activities and such many things I have been doing in past year, and more actively in past weeks. I felt so good about myself because I learned to balance between the time of being myself and the time of being with people.

I didn't had any meltdowns nor anything. I am still waiting for employment offers despite my high grades and experiences. Although at times I still feel shameful of not getting any relationship and sex experience since that I wanted to do. I mean like why lot of people already done it at 18-21 while I couldn't? I am not waiting for too long because it not my goal.

My goal is to get married at right fertility ages where I want to have a family: ages between 25-35. I got my career goal already done and in progress to first job which is not that bad but still getting rejected. I feel a little that being marginalised where the world see I am impaired and not attracting enough for no reason. One thing I need to understand 'how you do it?'.

Relationships are not like education, work or special interests. You cannot really train yourself or employ methods to speed the process. Relationships just happen, and often when you expect it the least. So you cannot go about relationships like you now do with your first job, unless you are a highly attractive person that many girls want. I'd say being desperate is largely related to the idea that you can plan getting into relationships when it doesn't work like that.

Sorry if this is blunt. The more you mention the S-word, the less people pay attention.
It's even a fact with aspies, especially female.

I agree that you cannot plan getting into a relationship, but you CAN work on increasing your chances to find the right girl.
Try not to become desperate, try to find someone that really is a good match for you. Make sure you are healthy and happy, go to social events, do the online dating. But do not get to obsessed. Have faith.

I'm skeptical about that.



Without a huge obsession, no healthy relationship, so I'd skip that part. I'd replace "social events" with "social activities / groups you enjoy", and I'd avoid online dating as much as possible (unless I was female).

This piece of advice also applies to everyone else. Even if people think clearly of knowing what they are doing then this should be no problem. The anxiety part is a part of their behaviour reactions.

I never had a date, from time to time asking someone out and not asking. I still get rejected either ways. I am very assertive communicator, but not many people are like that. Mostly are passive.

I know having ASD can be self centred and negative in terms of behaviour. We need to adapt to the change and make an action on something positive. This is something I am doing right now, since the achievements I earned. However the society is becoming fixated and influenced by wars, terrorism, marketing impacts, segregation of identity groups and so on. It becoming unsafe place.

Hippy havens is always a place that is safe place to be with but the majority of population are greedy or struggling in poverty. So having a relationship especially at young age when people are being pressure is NOT important. I learnt about this and yes I am guilty of looking for some. However it doesn't mean my goals of getting married and have a family is changed. I am still keen for one.

Keep in mind these two simple options:

1: If you want to date a neurotypical, be prepared to vigorously train yourself in social norms, passive communication in groups, and learning to smile they way they do.

2: If you want to date a neurodiverse, be prepared to compare preferences and thinking patterns to an extreme, and still be shot down just as much, but for different reasons than the above.

You can ask that to a neurotypical too! These options also applies to everyone.

Why it always have to be me that I have to change? I changed myself so many times in my life where possible I kept myself positive and happy for the things in my life that I have for. I still have no jobs and girlfriend yet despite living in cruel country have no actions with disabilities.

To be honest here, it that people's negative conservative attitudes that are against disabilities. An attitude problem seeing that we 'cant' do anything. Think about people's attitudes more than what I got.