Love and Dating is my special interest?

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Outrider
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26 Jul 2016, 6:12 am

I only realized this quite recently, and before that it took me about 6 months to figure it out, but love and dating is my biggest special interest.

Every single day for several hours I use the internet to look at love and dating related things.

From personal experiences in a variety of places and forums, to tips and advice, to approach videos and social experiments. Aspie or N.T. alike.

This is one of the only things I actually use the internet for, and a few other things like socializing with friends on social media and catching up with news and current events, and looking for new music. And sometimes reading philosophy/history/etc.

Either way, it's gotten to the point of massive obsession.

It's strange - sometimes I do feel miserably lonely and depressed, but not as much as you'd think.

A lot of the time I look at these experiences, study these videos, and learn from them. I don't feel negative, but neutral about them, or even uplifted and inspired to try out this stuff myself.

I'm channeling that energy to actually prepare myself when I do go out there into the world.

All the time I have ideas running in my head of what sort of techniques and skills I will implement, crafting the perfect dating profile for myself, etc.

I don't focus on it 24/7, I do have my own other hobbies and interests and spend my time doing other things, of course.

But this almost always takes a big chunk out of my day, and I'm just not sure if it's a 'good' thing, a 'bad' thing, or even just a 'neutral' thing.

Of all things I could be self-studying, it had to be this. :roll:

Advice? :(



Raleigh
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26 Jul 2016, 6:21 am

Image


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It's like I'm sleepwalking


kraftiekortie
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26 Jul 2016, 6:58 am

I would stop looking at the videos, and just start talking to girls.

You have lots of hobbies, lots that you're interested in.

And you're at least decent-looking.

And....of course....you know what I'm going to say next:

UNIVERSITY!



Sabreclaw
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27 Jul 2016, 3:41 am

University? Pffft, I don't even need a single hand to count the amount of interesting people I've met at University - it's literally zero. If you were an outcast at school, you'll be an outcast at Uni.

Don't waste your time going there if all you want to do is meet people. Go there if you want to get an advanced education. And stop wasting your time trying to "better" yourself. Getting a relationship isn't like leveling up a character in an RPG. You don't just "level up" and reach a point where you start achieving. Fact is, if you're not a social person (i.e. you're shy shy), you pretty much have no hope of ever getting a relationship. Doesn't matter if you're hardworking, intelligent, wealthy, shredded, etcetera, you'll just have to rely on pure luck.

This obsession with how to go about getting a girlfriend doesn't work. There is no set method, much to my disappointment.



The_Face_of_Boo
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27 Jul 2016, 3:52 am

Umm....I agree with Sabreclaw.



Sabreclaw
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27 Jul 2016, 3:57 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Umm....I agree with Sabreclaw.


You make it sound like you're doing so begrudgingly.



The_Face_of_Boo
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27 Jul 2016, 4:01 am

Sabreclaw wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Umm....I agree with Sabreclaw.


You make it sound like you're doing so begrudgingly.


I am just worried on the universe's stability.



Sabreclaw
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27 Jul 2016, 4:18 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Umm....I agree with Sabreclaw.


You make it sound like you're doing so begrudgingly.


I am just worried on the universe's stability.


What? :|



loraramsey
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30 Jul 2016, 4:50 am

Searching for dating related thing is not bad. Today Internet dating is considered to be the best way to meet people.



rdos
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30 Jul 2016, 3:34 pm

I also have relationships as my special interest, but I think it's better to obsess about this as middle age or elder than as a youngster. After all, I have a few experiences to obsess about, and I don't need to be desperate about getting a girlfriend. :wink:

Still, I did the same as you do when I was your age. Not sure if it helped or not, but probably not. 8O



kraftiekortie
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30 Jul 2016, 3:44 pm

I'm advocating University because he could get a decent education, not merely to meet girls.



BTDT
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30 Jul 2016, 4:41 pm

I found it useful to expand my "comfort zone." Or, put another way, how much discomfort I could take.
Being in a relationship often means compromising--going to a strange new restaurant to make your significant other happy--and being able to eat something on the menu.



briannelson
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03 Aug 2016, 2:55 am

That you for sharing your views.