Anyone as lonely as me?

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Yeah....we live in a very superficial world.

What was making you happy before that's making you sad now?

My philosophy: make myself happy, as long as I'm not stepping on other people's toes in the process.

What sort of "realization" did you come to?

Even if society and our culture can dictate the official rules of dating and courtship, a relationship is a thing between two people. That means if somebody else accepts you as you are, then you can get together with her and you don't have to change a bit because it is the two of you that decides that, not popular ideas of society. So popular ideas of dating and our culture can certainly affect how we believe it works, but if there are two people that have radically different ideas of how it should be, they can simply ignore all the ideas of our culture.

The "only" problem you actually have is how to find somebody that accepts you as you are.

I've been bullied, too. It was awful as a little girl, and it's still just as awful as an adult. I really think personality disordered people are the bullies, and unfortunately, those are the ones usually leading the packs. We're just easy targets.
I'm tired of feeling so alone. I'm tired of being rejected. I want to be good enough for someone, and I want to be loved. I have zero hope of any of it changing. I'm trying to work on accepting it. I think it's all i can do.

In theory, the Internet should be great for hooking up with people who are "different."
Instead of being stuck with the small dating pool of your local area--you can explore
possible matches over huge geographical areas.

While totally fictional, the TV series Big Bang Theory may be useful in comparing the speed of neurodiverse versus neurotypical relationships--Amy is constantly frustrated by the slow pace at which her relationship with Sheldon progresses.

I think Amy's supposed to be neurodiverse, too, actually.

I think I've (finally) decided to disagree with that one. It sounds good in theory, but online relationships typically are no good, and I would never settle for one of those because physical contact is important. The idea behind it is also no good even if it sounds plausible. The reason for that is that you only need a dating pool of ONE person to form a relationship, and in any typical Western culture at least 15% are neurodiverse, so even a small town would do. It's a fallacy to assume that a large dating pool is better than a small. It isn't because distance increases, and people need to apply unnatural filters to make it manageable. Many of these filters disfavor NDs, and when NDs themselves apply them, they virtually will filter out the one's they are compatible with.



ND relationships are supposed to advance at a slow pace.

It may be impractical to move if you have a really unique job. But, everyone's income situation is different--I recall someone here moving a few hundred miles without issue because he was on disability--what state he lived in didn't matter in terms of getting that check each month.

so you been single your whole life?

I was married for 15 years until she passed away from a fatal illness.

Actually people are more shallow online than in person.

Uh, I did mention ive never had a girlfriend.

ya, oh well, not a day goes by when i think about this

There must be. I'm well above the average white Australian woman in height, but not freakishly tall, so my height has never been a problem. I can switch to pretty much any demographic and still be taller than most females. My height alone is not enough.

Me & my girlfriend are both on the spectrum & e advanced pretty fast without many problems.

Yes you must.

A few years ago I was in the same position as you. Before I got my first girlfriend I had to starve myself until I lost 120 lbs, quit my easy, part time job, get a stressful, full time job so I can have a bigger paycheque and a better sounding job title, spend much of my remaining free time on night classes and industry qualifications and move out of home, even though renting an apartment is more expensive.

Actually, because of the price of rent, I'm financially worse off with a higher paying job than I was with a low paying job but girls mainly care about how much you make, not how efficiently you use it. i.e. girls would be more impressed by a guy who made $55,000 per year with $10,000 left over after paying living costs than a guy who made $30,000 per year with $20,000 left over after living costs.

Anyway, when girls find out I have a well paid job and a luxury apartment on the top floor in a good neighborhood and when they see that I'm not fat, then they think I'm datable.

Yes we live in a superficial world. Get used to it because our world is getting more superficial with each passing year.

Yes, living costs are typically what SHE gets to spend. Most women want to live in a single family home--which will require lots of money for furniture and decorating.