What you would do if you discovered before marriage cheating

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pawelk1986
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14 Aug 2016, 6:38 am

What you would do if you discovered before marriage that you love interest is cheat you.

Recently I read an interesting article as "Mr. Young" took revenge on his chosen one, when he discovered that she was cheating on him :mrgreen:

The thing to work in a Polish village in the 90s

I took the liberty to translate you this article may not be the best translation because I used google translator :mrgreen:
Link to the article in Polish at the bottom

"The bride betrays her husband with his cousin. Everything seems to be at the wedding!

Guy was invited to the wedding, as the accompanying person. All beautifully dressed, richly laden tables, wedding traditions met.

The groom takes the microphone and fall the words: "Thank you all for coming, wishes and gifts. I have for you a little surprise hidden in every plate. Please check the envelope .."

Guests lift plates and underneath the envelope in which they were erotic photos of the bride with a stranger man.

The groom begins to speak: "I learned a month ago that my XXX cheating on me with this gentleman in the picture. I decided photograph it as evidence of this and show you all. I did not want to cancel the party, because this is already being paid for, and you would did not believe and I would be the evil one If suddenly broke off the relationship just before the wedding, I hope the parish priest, will invalidate the marriage, since it is not yet consummated. Thank you all. You stay and enjoy yourselves. You can keep photos as a souvenir. "

The man telling this story, wrote that all "jaws dropped" surprise. Bride Groom hit in the face and burst into tears. A man with whom bride cheated her future husband was his cousin"



Bridgette77
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14 Aug 2016, 11:41 pm

I'm sitting here, so sure that I would throw him out the door, tell him to hit the road, tell him to go, well, ya know, but, really? Would I? I honestly can't answer that, when I love the man I'm with so much, and am big on mercy, grace, and forgiveness... If it was a one time thing, perhaps, I would forgive, but if it was ongoing, and a repeat offense, then Uh, no!



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15 Aug 2016, 12:02 am

cheating = it's over. no ifs, ands or buts. but no revenge either. no point in that


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HisShadowX
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15 Aug 2016, 1:16 am

anagram wrote:
cheating = it's over. no ifs, ands or buts. but no revenge either. no point in that


Agreed but it's harder when you're married and poor. In the USA if she cheats on you or not if you leave her depending on your state you got child support and then there is alimony for life in some cases. Worst yet you can be in proverty and your net pay be nothing after what you're going through but then you try to get help and you realize you don't qualify based on your GROSS income.



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15 Aug 2016, 1:27 am

HisShadowX wrote:
Agreed but it's harder when you're married and poor. In the USA if she cheats on you or not if you leave her depending on your state you got child support and then there is alimony for life in some cases. Worst yet you can be in proverty and your net pay be nothing after what you're going through but then you try to get help and you realize you don't qualify based on your GROSS income.

well yes, but that's not a situation i would consider, because it's simply never going to happen. i'm very particular, adamant and systematic about not owing anything to anybody in any possible situation, no matter how attached i may be to someone. or else i don't get involved to begin with

and also for that very reason, i would never have children. if i were in a long-term relationship and my partner told me that she had changed her mind and she would actually want to have children, that would mean the end of the relationship to me, no matter how much i might be attached to her (and i do get very attached)

i don't commit to anything without a backup plan or an emergency strategy. failure is a possibility i always consider beforehand


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pawelk1986
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15 Aug 2016, 6:18 am

pawelk1986 wrote:

well that's all greek to me

no, wait... :mrgreen:


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catunderfoot
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15 Aug 2016, 12:04 pm

I would leave. I'd have to. I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about it if I wanted to. But I also would never go for revenge of that sort.

I read The Count of Monte Cristo at a young age and the idea of what revenge can do to a person is forever stamped upon my mind. What you do changes who you are, and I do not want to give anyone the ability to change me without my express permission. I do not believe in revenge.



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15 Aug 2016, 12:37 pm

It isn't "cheating" unless it occurs after they're married, in my opinion.

HOWEVER, I have to say "Well Played" to the groom!

:lol:

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Extrication
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15 Aug 2016, 8:23 pm

It depends.

If I discovered that my significant other was secretly getting busy with another woman, that I could work with so long as she had exercised sound judgment (e.g., had sex with a trusted female friend, as opposed to a complete stranger) and was willing to extend the same courtesy if our positions were reversed. I would not feel betrayed or disregarded as a man. Rather, I would be sympathetic and understanding.

If she was having sex with another man, she would be out of my life immediately.



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15 Aug 2016, 8:34 pm

Extrication wrote:
It depends.

If I discovered that my significant other was secretly getting busy with another woman, that I could work with so long as she had exercised sound judgment (e.g., had sex with a trusted female friend, as opposed to a complete stranger) and was willing to extend the same courtesy if our positions were reversed. I would not feel betrayed or disregarded as a man. Rather, I would be sympathetic and understanding.

If she was having sex with another man, she would be out of my life immediately.

i don't know why there's that distinction, but yes, there is that distinction. with my ex, the thought of her with another girl didn't automatically bother me. betrayal of trust is betrayal of trust though. so, during our early long-distance stage, i told her i would be okay with it (other girls only, no guys) as long as she would talk to me about it first, and as long as the rule would apply to me as well (other girls. no guys! :mrgreen:). it was going to be a while before we would ever meet, so i thought i should be realistic about sexual impulses, within what i could actually be okay with

i did discuss with her a possible situation with another girl (which in the end never happened), and she said she was okay with it. but she didn't talk to me about it first when it was "her turn". i stopped talking to her immediately. it was only a minor thing though (not sex), and after reestablishing communication i made it clear that i wasn't going to put up with that kind of disingenuous rule-bending, and that the privilege of the possibility of other partners was revoked from that moment on. it was me and only me or goodbye. i wouldn't fall for that trap again. all rainbows in theory, questionable motives in reality. "sex with other people" was secondary. she just wanted to test me and my willingness to let her get away with questionable behavior of any kind

if it had been with another guy, it wouldn't even matter if it was minor or not. just over, the end, period


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pawelk1986
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16 Aug 2016, 4:07 am

anagram wrote:
pawelk1986 wrote:

well that's all greek to me

no, wait... :mrgreen:


Not Greek but Polish :mrgreen:
But i heard that our Polish language is the toughest to learn for foreigners :mrgreen:



nurseangela
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16 Aug 2016, 4:28 am

Fnord wrote:
It isn't "cheating" unless it occurs after they're married, in my opinion.

HOWEVER, I have to say "Well Played" to the groom!

:lol:

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Really? That's very interesting. I figure if you are in an exclusive relationship (getting married is as exclusive as it can get), then that would be lying unless there is an "open" relationship to which both parties agreed.

He'd be gone and I'd schedule a blood test asap. Whatever happens after that is off the record. :mrgreen:


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The_Face_of_Boo
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18 Aug 2016, 3:11 pm

a one who cheats on his bf/gf will cheat on them again when they're married.



TheSpectrum
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18 Aug 2016, 4:32 pm

Apparently in many countries this is the preferred method of dealing with cheaters:

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19 Aug 2016, 1:05 am

Cheating = I'll never talk to you again. I have enough difficulties building trust as it is, and that would just destroy my self-esteem. A betrayal like that can never be forgiven.