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It is possible to simply not have what women want?

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Shahunshah
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27 Nov 2016, 2:14 am

auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
That came out wrong. I guess what would be better said is that you are not doomed to life of loneliness.

:flower: oh, I had my brief moment in the sun when a fellow WPer almost literally fell into my lap, but that relationship blew itself to smithereens. that is when it dawned on me that I lack the proper genes for relationships.
What's the story of that?



auntblabby
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27 Nov 2016, 2:16 am

Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
That came out wrong. I guess what would be better said is that you are not doomed to life of loneliness.

:flower: oh, I had my brief moment in the sun when a fellow WPer almost literally fell into my lap, but that relationship blew itself to smithereens. that is when it dawned on me that I lack the proper genes for relationships.
What's the story of that?

it happened about 4 years ago here on WP, an unnamed departed member took a shine to me, most unexpectedly, totally out of the blue. simple as that. but as soon as she met me there was major friction. fought like cats and dogs, split with acrimony. that was the end of that. there is just no compatibility between me and women in general.



Shahunshah
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27 Nov 2016, 2:19 am

auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
That came out wrong. I guess what would be better said is that you are not doomed to life of loneliness.

:flower: oh, I had my brief moment in the sun when a fellow WPer almost literally fell into my lap, but that relationship blew itself to smithereens. that is when it dawned on me that I lack the proper genes for relationships.
What's the story of that?

it happened about 4 years ago here on WP, an unnamed departed member took a shine to me, most unexpectedly, totally out of the blue. simple as that. but as soon as she met me there was major friction. fought like cats and dogs, split with acrimony. that was the end of that. there is just no compatibility between me and women in general.
Do you still know her?



auntblabby
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27 Nov 2016, 2:23 am

Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
That came out wrong. I guess what would be better said is that you are not doomed to life of loneliness.

:flower: oh, I had my brief moment in the sun when a fellow WPer almost literally fell into my lap, but that relationship blew itself to smithereens. that is when it dawned on me that I lack the proper genes for relationships.
What's the story of that?

it happened about 4 years ago here on WP, an unnamed departed member took a shine to me, most unexpectedly, totally out of the blue. simple as that. but as soon as she met me there was major friction. fought like cats and dogs, split with acrimony. that was the end of that. there is just no compatibility between me and women in general.
Do you still know her?

we exchange an occasional email. she married somebody else. that's that.



Shahunshah
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27 Nov 2016, 2:27 am

auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
That came out wrong. I guess what would be better said is that you are not doomed to life of loneliness.

:flower: oh, I had my brief moment in the sun when a fellow WPer almost literally fell into my lap, but that relationship blew itself to smithereens. that is when it dawned on me that I lack the proper genes for relationships.
What's the story of that?

it happened about 4 years ago here on WP, an unnamed departed member took a shine to me, most unexpectedly, totally out of the blue. simple as that. but as soon as she met me there was major friction. fought like cats and dogs, split with acrimony. that was the end of that. there is just no compatibility between me and women in general.
Do you still know her?

we exchange an occasional email. she married somebody else. that's that.
Do you know many women?



auntblabby
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27 Nov 2016, 4:02 am

Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
That came out wrong. I guess what would be better said is that you are not doomed to life of loneliness.

:flower: oh, I had my brief moment in the sun when a fellow WPer almost literally fell into my lap, but that relationship blew itself to smithereens. that is when it dawned on me that I lack the proper genes for relationships.
What's the story of that?

it happened about 4 years ago here on WP, an unnamed departed member took a shine to me, most unexpectedly, totally out of the blue. simple as that. but as soon as she met me there was major friction. fought like cats and dogs, split with acrimony. that was the end of that. there is just no compatibility between me and women in general.
Do you still know her?

we exchange an occasional email. she married somebody else. that's that.
Do you know many women?

pen pal with one. my sister and her daughters. my sister in law. that's about it. no mate material.



Shahunshah
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27 Nov 2016, 4:09 am

auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
That came out wrong. I guess what would be better said is that you are not doomed to life of loneliness.

:flower: oh, I had my brief moment in the sun when a fellow WPer almost literally fell into my lap, but that relationship blew itself to smithereens. that is when it dawned on me that I lack the proper genes for relationships.
What's the story of that?

it happened about 4 years ago here on WP, an unnamed departed member took a shine to me, most unexpectedly, totally out of the blue. simple as that. but as soon as she met me there was major friction. fought like cats and dogs, split with acrimony. that was the end of that. there is just no compatibility between me and women in general.
Do you still know her?

we exchange an occasional email. she married somebody else. that's that.
Do you know many women?

pen pal with one. my sister and her daughters. my sister in law. that's about it. no mate material.
Well maybe I am wrong. But meeting a girl is near in impossible with the the level in which you expose yourself to others. You only know one neighbor in your area after all it seems sort of solitary the life you have now. Not that it is your fault.



auntblabby
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27 Nov 2016, 4:44 am

Shahunshah wrote:
Well maybe I am wrong. But meeting a girl is near in impossible with the the level in which you expose yourself to others. You only know one neighbor in your area after all it seems sort of solitary the life you have now. Not that it is your fault.

being rural does put a crimp in meeting people for sure. but it is what I can afford. city living is EXPENSIVE here. but working in a building on a major military post with a few thousand other humans was no help, I did that for a few decades. it is like there is an invisible barrier between me and people in general. this seems to be what the OP is experiencing as well. I wish I had answers for the both of us, i'm past the point of grasping at straws.



Shahunshah
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27 Nov 2016, 4:57 am

auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
Well maybe I am wrong. But meeting a girl is near in impossible with the the level in which you expose yourself to others. You only know one neighbor in your area after all it seems sort of solitary the life you have now. Not that it is your fault.

being rural does put a crimp in meeting people for sure. but it is what I can afford. city living is EXPENSIVE here. but working in a building on a major military post with a few thousand other humans was no help, I did that for a few decades. it is like there is an invisible barrier between me and people in general. this seems to be what the OP is experiencing as well. I wish I had answers for the both of us, i'm past the point of grasping at straws.
Okay well I do not have the answers either. As you probably know.

How's your family anyway?



auntblabby
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27 Nov 2016, 5:04 am

Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
Well maybe I am wrong. But meeting a girl is near in impossible with the the level in which you expose yourself to others. You only know one neighbor in your area after all it seems sort of solitary the life you have now. Not that it is your fault.

being rural does put a crimp in meeting people for sure. but it is what I can afford. city living is EXPENSIVE here. but working in a building on a major military post with a few thousand other humans was no help, I did that for a few decades. it is like there is an invisible barrier between me and people in general. this seems to be what the OP is experiencing as well. I wish I had answers for the both of us, i'm past the point of grasping at straws.
Okay well I do not have the answers either. As you probably know.

How's your family anyway?

oh, retired and loving it, both my brother and sister. I am merely unemployed and living by the skin of my teeth. mebbe one day my ship will come in too. at least I can hope and dream, they can't take my dreams away from me. talk about your family for a bit? :flower:



Shahunshah
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27 Nov 2016, 5:17 am

auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
Well maybe I am wrong. But meeting a girl is near in impossible with the the level in which you expose yourself to others. You only know one neighbor in your area after all it seems sort of solitary the life you have now. Not that it is your fault.

being rural does put a crimp in meeting people for sure. but it is what I can afford. city living is EXPENSIVE here. but working in a building on a major military post with a few thousand other humans was no help, I did that for a few decades. it is like there is an invisible barrier between me and people in general. this seems to be what the OP is experiencing as well. I wish I had answers for the both of us, i'm past the point of grasping at straws.
Okay well I do not have the answers either. As you probably know.

How's your family anyway?

oh, retired and loving it, both my brother and sister. I am merely unemployed and living by the skin of my teeth. mebbe one day my ship will come in too. at least I can hope and dream, they can't take my dreams away from me. talk about your family for a bit? :flower:
What is it with the constant flower? I like it but I am wondering why.

Okay so I live a fairly good life. I have one brother, one sister and my two parents have always understood me. My dad works as a manager for addiction services.

On my dad's side the family gets a little for dysfunctional. The relationship between my grandmother and her children including my dad is bad.

I have an aunt, who recently had two twins they are my first cousins.

My uncle on my dad's side is currently depressed, he has over 200,000 dollars but chooses to live frugally out in the country basically sleeping in a tank. He hopes that if he spends his money wisely he will suddenly become rich. Which is unrealistic to say the least. He likely has ASD but he has met people and had relationships. Very recently moving away from one in fact.

My other uncle, is paralyzed after a car accident.

Currently at this stage my brother has four siblings. None are currently in relationships except from him and the paralyzed one.

My aunt on my mother's side too doesn't have a relationship. She is quite success in her journalistic career and fun to be around. Yet she just is single one way or another.



auntblabby
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27 Nov 2016, 5:26 am

^^^ the flower is to indicate that I am harmless, that I am friendly, that you don't have to fear me. :) it has a long history with me. from the sounds of your family I am guessing you are well-acquainted with the difficulties of being human, I do hope your $200k uncle has invested his money and lives off the interest, rather than spending his principal. I hope your other uncle is dealing well with his situation. if I did as well as your aunt, i'd consider myself more of a success in this life. :star:



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27 Nov 2016, 5:38 am

I don't think it's impossible - just really f***ing difficult for a lot of people, sorry. You should be careful not to romanticise your idea of love, idealistic outlooks can be very destructive when you find the real thing.

I think, objectively, a lot of people are less desirable than others. But I cannot imagine, with our population, that there is no-one who could love you. And objectively, what you've said shows that you are difficult to love, but subjectively, how it is written makes me think that a lot of women could definitely love you.

It is quite difficult though, as I imagine a lot of those women aren't immediately accessible via dating apps and bars.

Keep trying, dude. It's just about finding the right person to share your life with, not finding the one you're 'fated' to.


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27 Nov 2016, 5:39 am

Shahunshah wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I disagree with those who chant individualism - I don't believe that humans are that much individuals.

Individualism is overrated - humans are not that individuals my dears.

Yes, some preferences do vary from among individuals - but there are way more in common among the people of the same sex than what many choose to believe.

Why else do you think that some celebs are seen attractive by the like 95% of the opposite sex for instance?

And this isn't only about attraction between men and women: Do you remember at school or even at the workplace those people that NO one liked and talked about them behind their back? If people are so "individual" then why this almost-consensus on their hate toward these people?

So to answer your question: Yes, it is possible for one to have certain set of attributes (inborn or otherwise) that makes him/her unappealing to the very vast majority of the opposite sex - making it satistically almost impossibe to find someone accepting him/her.


I guess sometimes their can be some character flaws in people that make it difficult for others to appreciate or like them but it is important to remember that for most people that is not the case. Since so long as you are kind to others it is fairly easy not be viewed with contempt but others.

And as much as people do follow group their are many who also don't and want something out. After all just because a handsome jock is seen as a good match by many does not mean all girls will follow him, many simply do not like that and want something else.

I mean come on my depressed uncle who may have AS got two girlfriends recently. And my friend's dad who has AS and is overweight is also happily married. Humans are individuals not bloody sheep.


AS diagnosis exists because it is seen as a set of major character flaws by the majority of mankind.
But not to the same extent as other traits such as narcissism and unkindness those is what really turns many people off. If their is something inherently unattractive about people with Asperger's that exists for all people than why does the autistic girl in my class have friends, rich social life and a boyfriend, why do I have friends. Shouldn't by your logic everyone be turned away from autistic people?


Autism is a spectrum.

Besides most AS women have boyfriends - based on what I see on WP; it isn't that unusual.



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27 Nov 2016, 3:29 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I disagree with those who chant individualism - I don't believe that humans are that much individuals.

Individualism is overrated - humans are not that individuals my dears.

Yes, some preferences do vary from among individuals - but there are way more in common among the people of the same sex than what many choose to believe.

Why else do you think that some celebs are seen attractive by the like 95% of the opposite sex for instance?

And this isn't only about attraction between men and women: Do you remember at school or even at the workplace those people that NO one liked and talked about them behind their back? If people are so "individual" then why this almost-consensus on their hate toward these people?

So to answer your question: Yes, it is possible for one to have certain set of attributes (inborn or otherwise) that makes him/her unappealing to the very vast majority of the opposite sex - making it satistically almost impossibe to find someone accepting him/her.


I guess sometimes their can be some character flaws in people that make it difficult for others to appreciate or like them but it is important to remember that for most people that is not the case. Since so long as you are kind to others it is fairly easy not be viewed with contempt but others.

And as much as people do follow group their are many who also don't and want something out. After all just because a handsome jock is seen as a good match by many does not mean all girls will follow him, many simply do not like that and want something else.

I mean come on my depressed uncle who may have AS got two girlfriends recently. And my friend's dad who has AS and is overweight is also happily married. Humans are individuals not bloody sheep.


AS diagnosis exists because it is seen as a set of major character flaws by the majority of mankind.
But not to the same extent as other traits such as narcissism and unkindness those is what really turns many people off. If their is something inherently unattractive about people with Asperger's that exists for all people than why does the autistic girl in my class have friends, rich social life and a boyfriend, why do I have friends. Shouldn't by your logic everyone be turned away from autistic people?


Autism is a spectrum.

Besides most AS women have boyfriends - based on what I see on WP; it isn't that unusual.


while thats not completely true it may be because aspie women have different symptoms and struggles to aspie men. Also shyness is not seen as badly in women as it is in men. This is most likely because women look at personality traits whereas men inherently look at physical features



Shahunshah
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27 Nov 2016, 4:08 pm

auntblabby wrote:
^^^ the flower is to indicate that I am harmless, that I am friendly, that you don't have to fear me. :) it has a long history with me. from the sounds of your family I am guessing you are well-acquainted with the difficulties of being human, I do hope your $200k uncle has invested his money and lives off the interest, rather than spending his principal. I hope your other uncle is dealing well with his situation. if I did as well as your aunt, i'd consider myself more of a success in this life. :star:
Yeah. I hope my uncle gets his stuff together. I don't think I can claim I am well aquanited with the difficulties, I guess I just know people close to me who are going through hard times.