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Ecomatt91
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03 Dec 2016, 6:11 pm

FWB is very dangerous. Its a strategy to alienate connection between people. Psychologists do not recommend having this kind of relationship. But they help you to understand how to be mindful if having this with someone. Although it have too many issues like emotion, understanding the future between the couple and boundaries. Usually FWB can lead to life long relationship, that is totally fine but you need to determine the future of it.

No point shagging around. Its too mainstream, and it does not help people especially unprivileged ones.



Blunzengroestl
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03 Dec 2016, 11:18 pm

It seems you are very confused, ecomatt. You are utterly obsessed with getting a girlfriend and dating, but you decry sex and relations, and the ways of 'wanton' women. Maybe you should consider joining the priesthood? Your cognitive dissonance will disappear, and you can feel at ease among celibate men, away from disgraceful women who enjoy sex.



Ecomatt91
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04 Dec 2016, 1:03 am

Blunzengroestl wrote:
It seems you are very confused, ecomatt. You are utterly obsessed with getting a girlfriend and dating, but you decry sex and relations, and the ways of 'wanton' women. Maybe you should consider joining the priesthood? Your cognitive dissonance will disappear, and you can feel at ease among celibate men, away from disgraceful women who enjoy sex.


Are you that same troll who have been posting s**t against me in past few months? Yep. I am not listening to you.



Blunzengroestl
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04 Dec 2016, 5:22 am

Ecomatt, I'm not a troll, I'm just concerned that your views on sexuality and women are very extreme and judgemental.



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04 Dec 2016, 6:08 am

Ha, as if.

Your posts in the past against him have been filled with passive-aggressiveness and mean-spirited sarcasm.

Your suggestion of him to join priesthood appears to be a way of mocking him to me.

We know what game you're playing.

Besides, he has a point and what he's saying is true.

I've definitely seen a lot of anecdotal experiences where friendships are simply ruined when it becomes an FWB and things can never be the same again, and psychologists re-affirm this idea as well.



Blunzengroestl
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04 Dec 2016, 7:49 am

Anecdotal evidence? That's an oxymoron. Ecomatt clearly only sees women as vessels in which he can insert himself. What's your game? Do you have the same attitude? I think I can mock someone when they have an attitude like his.



saffron
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04 Dec 2016, 8:08 am

I'm pretty sure Tinder etiquette dictates that you can talk / sleep with anyone you want unless you have otherwise defined the relationship. And don't feel bad about her suddenly stopping talking to you. I hear it's pretty standard for everyone on Tinder. Ghosting, I think the word is.


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MaxE
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04 Dec 2016, 8:28 am

Ecomatt91 wrote:
Are you that same troll who have been posting s**t against me in past few months? Yep. I am not listening to you.
The only way I can see this being true would be if she had created multiple accounts, given that WP shows that she has only posted 7 times.

I think she is showing a strong and very genuine reaction to some things you've said, and is not hesitant to let the forum know how she feels. Of course you have genuine beliefs and she is probably too intolerant of them but I wouldn't think of it as trolling. She seems to support the idea that women can have sex with whomever and whenever they wish. Whether this is a reflection of her actual lifestyle, or just a philosophical belief she holds, I would have no idea*. But it's true many men feel threatened by the concept.

As a man, I believe this is one area in which many men need to broaden their outlook.

*many women might hold to this opinion even if their personal sex lives are quite "conventional" e.g. sex with just one guy for many years.


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Ecomatt91
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04 Dec 2016, 6:18 pm

As being an advocate for diversity inclusion in my communities and attendance to conferences I always have spoken out about human rights especially women/gender. I always voice on domestic violence, wage/salary gap and abortion. My attitudes towards women got nothing to do what they want.

Its about psychological aspect. That why I mentioned 'psychologists' several times. I never made up my voice about FWB and related. Psychologists always studies on the outcomes, aspects and issues of FWB rather than supporting or not. Of course it about choice, even choosing partners. Unfortunately many psychologists find the reality is not true. FWB is based on physical attraction rather than personality attraction. Like if a guy is being really nice, approachable, confident and assertive but not good 'model' looking.

FWB arrangements is pretty much like dating but without attachments. Tinder is another same example on FWB arrangements by how the process works. I see these cases lead to psychological influence on how they view the society. Its becoming segregated towards physically unattractive people. They will become 'missed out' on connection.



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05 Dec 2016, 2:16 am

MaxE wrote:
Ecomatt91 wrote:
Are you that same troll who have been posting s**t against me in past few months? Yep. I am not listening to you.
The only way I can see this being true would be if she had created multiple accounts, given that WP shows that she has only posted 7 times.

I think she is showing a strong and very genuine reaction to some things you've said, and is not hesitant to let the forum know how she feels. Of course you have genuine beliefs and she is probably too intolerant of them but I wouldn't think of it as trolling. She seems to support the idea that women can have sex with whomever and whenever they wish. Whether this is a reflection of her actual lifestyle, or just a philosophical belief she holds, I would have no idea*. But it's true many men feel threatened by the concept.

As a man, I believe this is one area in which many men need to broaden their outlook.

*many women might hold to this opinion even if their personal sex lives are quite "conventional" e.g. sex with just one guy for many years.


She has.

It's very likely she is 'Katy', a troll who has created multiple accounts in the past that all have the same general pattern:

1. Low post count, even after several months.
2. The majority of their posts are in Love&Dating, targeting and criticizing lonely aspie men, mocking them, strawmanning, hyperboling them. Frequent offender of bullying them through use of subtle passive-aggressiveness and mean-spirited sarcasm, that Aspies may find more difficult to pick-up including mods, making her behavior look more fine then it actually is. Ecomatt has been a big target of hers for the last several months.
3. Either odd or unusually mundane usernames (e.g. LaundryBasket, HamperLady, etc.)
4. Same IP address (biggest indicator it is the same person, of course)
5. The same writing style

In my experiences these are all true and apply to the poster here except I don't know about the IP Address one. You'll have to ask the mods for confirmation.

The rest of what you say is true, but Katy has taken things too far.


If one refers to the rules her current and past posts can be seen as potentially more than simply disagreement, but count as bullying and breaking the rules.

In past posts I can see she has used the same distinctive passive-aggressive and mocking posts towards him, and she just admitted by saying

"I think I can mock someone when they have an attitude like his."

that she is aware that she is bullying, is refusing to stop, and therefore she is a rulebreaker.



Blunzengroestl
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05 Dec 2016, 4:40 am

Women are allowed to disagree with you. You can't call everyone who disagrees with you a troll, it's just weak and disingenuous. This is not a club exclusively for jaded men, where you can write about how silly or dirty women are. Also, don't say I speak of all men on the spectrum. I know many men on the spectrum who have respect for women, and are good people with decent morals. They treat women with respect, and they do have relationships, even if they struggle with social cues. You can't call yourself an advocate of inclusion and diversity when you talk about women the way you do.



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05 Dec 2016, 7:37 am

Strawman and hyperbole.

I Agee with almost everything you say, but you came acorrss as mocking/insulting Ecomatt to me and I pointed out you confessed yourself that you were in fact mocking him and you share similarities with a notorious troll on this forum.

Mocking is bullying and bullying is against the rules, therefore you admit to breaking g the rules.

There's a difference between mocking/insulting someone and just disagreeing with them.

Talk about women the way I do? What have I said about women here at all?

You are putting words in my mouth and hyperboling me to make me look bad.

All I did was agreed with a small part of His post, and that is that FWBs tend to ruin friendships. That's my opinion and if you belief that you are allowed to share your opinion here even if people disagree with it, which you are allowed to, then I am too and Ecomatt does to and neither me nor him should have to be mocked by you.

This does not mean that I think FWBs are wrong or people should not do them, I just believe it can ruin friendships, that's all.

Otherwise I said nothing about women and promiscuity.

In fact i strongly agree with both male and female promiscuity so long as the two people have consented and no one is coerced or forced to have sex.

I take back the troll accusation so long as from this point on we can all have a civil discussion - which means no more mocking and no more personal attacks too! That's not an order, I just politely ask we all, everyone here, for the the sake of a productive thread, remain civil.

I apologize and am done thowing around accusations and hope for the same in return.