whirlingdervish wrote:
I think what i feel bad about is that i totally completely absolutely lack 'guile', which is a very useful seduction technique that i have studied other women employ. ... Luckily i have a pretty good instinctive understanding of who to trust, so haven't been hurt too much, but i feel I'm missing out on that whole 'mysterious female aspect' of my gender..
Your description of yourself reminds me of a friend (female). I met her on Tinder this spring, although dating didn't pan out, and we're now friends. Which is actually cool; I feel like I'm too bitter and jaded to be a good boyfriend to her. And she's been a good friend to me so far. She has a sweet, playful vibe, and can act cheerful in the face of trouble
without turning into Pollyanna. (Which makes it easy to tolerate her flaws, like overtexting and being all over the place with conversation topics.)
My reaction to her, after messaging on Tinder and going on our first date, was "non-threatening" and "lacking danger". (She also has a cute face and a decent body.) I didn't feel any threat from her, whether to my lifestyle or to my safety, physical or mental. By contrast, most women I meet rank somewhere on a threat scale I developed, and my last girlfriend ranked pretty high. It was nothing I could pinpoint, just an overall lack of danger I picked up from this new girl. And I do mean "lack of danger", rather than "safety"; there's a difference.
Perhaps
this is what people meant when they called you "child woman". It sounds like you didn't like it, but I'm giving my own perspective.