I've been called a 'child woman' (rolls eyes)

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whirlingdervish
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21 Dec 2016, 3:05 pm

Yes, I been called a 'child woman'. 'Adorable' 'wildchild' 'a darling' etc etc while all the time I'm trying to be a badass sexy b***h. What am i doing wrong?



kraftiekortie
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21 Dec 2016, 3:12 pm

I wouldn't like you if you were a badass sexy b***h.

I would like you if you were a darling.



The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Dec 2016, 3:36 pm

How old are you?



whirlingdervish
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21 Dec 2016, 3:39 pm

im 36!! !



Aspie1
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22 Dec 2016, 11:40 am

I see you're new to the site, so welcome!

I'm not sure what "child woman" refers to. Might be a regionalism I'm not familiar with. The closest comparable term I can think of is "Manic Pixie Dream Girl" (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manic_Pixie_Dream_Girl). Could that be what they were thinking of?



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22 Dec 2016, 11:50 am

@whirlingdervish You look like my kind of woman. Shame you're so far away though.

Anyway if you think you should change, I don't think you should unless by "childish" people mean you have no autonomy and responsibility over your own life. Then you must improve.

Cheers.



naturalplastic
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22 Dec 2016, 12:25 pm

Aspie1 wrote:
I see you're new to the site, so welcome!

I'm not sure what "child woman" refers to.


Surely you must have heard the term "child man" a few times: meaning "a guy who is immature/irresponsible despite his adult age". Obviously "child woman" would be the female equivalent.



Aspie1
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22 Dec 2016, 12:41 pm

naturalplastic wrote:
Surely you must have heard the term "child man" a few times: meaning "a guy who is immature/irresponsible despite his adult age". Obviously "child woman" would be the female equivalent.
Actually, I never heard the term "child man". I did hear/read the term "man-child", although it was used almost exclusively by feminists, as a shaming tactic against men who refuse to settle down. It wasn't used to describe men who, for example, still like playing with toy trains.

Either way, let's get back on topic. I don't think the "child woman" the OP was referring to meant the exact same thing, i.e. immature interests. Think of how popular the Hello Kitty brand is among adult women, although some wear/carry it ironically. Different standards apply to men and women, after all.



The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Dec 2016, 2:40 pm

It seems to mean "cute" in her post because she's contrasting it to "sexy whatever".

Cute often refer to "soft beauty" unlike "sexy" which often refers to a "wilder" version of beauty.



naturalplastic
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22 Dec 2016, 5:12 pm

I dunno.

Must admit that I have never actually heard "child woman" uttered either. The folks around her probably mean that she lacks fashion sense, or is childlike in demeanor.

From my male pov its not obvious why she would wanna be a "bad ass B" (doesn't sound any more desireable to me than it does to Krafty).

But from imagining the female pov I think I get what she means.

Sounds like the OP yearns to be a threat to her competition (other women), but instead of viewing her as "bad ass" the competition just sees her as harmless, cute, and amusing (that would be maddening). So maybe you (the op) should go to the women's forum to get fashion advice.



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22 Dec 2016, 5:16 pm

Eh. Just embrace who you are.


_________________
So you know who just said that:
I am female, I am married
I have two children (one AS and one NT)
I have been diagnosed with Aspergers and MERLD
I have significant chronic medical conditions as well


IstominFan
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22 Dec 2016, 7:34 pm

I'm 52 and look very young for my age. I'm also short with a small frame. I was called "cute" not too long ago. The person who said it was nice, but I felt like a little girl being patted on the head.



whirlingdervish
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23 Dec 2016, 6:34 am

I think what i feel bad about is that i totally completely absolutely lack 'guile', which is a very useful seduction technique that i have studied other women employ. Usually if I've ever like someone, I'm the sort of person who would be quite naive about it. Id be more likely to just tell a person I'm attracted to them and bear my soul to them, pretty trustingly.. of course if I'm moderately sure they at least reasonably like me. Luckily i have a pretty good instinctive understanding of who to trust, so haven't been hurt too much, but i feel I'm missing out on that whole 'mysterious female aspect' of my gender.. I'm not sophisticated is what i think people say when they say child woman.. it kind of pisses me off, because i have borne and continue to bear responsibilities above and beyond my capacity sometimes.. I know other women who are more 'female' than me who actually get off responsibilities by playing 'vulnerable', something i hate myself for not being able to pull off, and as a result , have an easier life....So umm, yes, its about me being 'childlike' in terms of trustingness and openness as opposed to being sophisticated, which i personally find sexier? i mean, only paedophiles would find 'children' 'sexy' .. eeeesssh



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23 Dec 2016, 10:51 am

whirlingdervish wrote:
I think what i feel bad about is that i totally completely absolutely lack 'guile', which is a very useful seduction technique that i have studied other women employ. ... Luckily i have a pretty good instinctive understanding of who to trust, so haven't been hurt too much, but i feel I'm missing out on that whole 'mysterious female aspect' of my gender..
Your description of yourself reminds me of a friend (female). I met her on Tinder this spring, although dating didn't pan out, and we're now friends. Which is actually cool; I feel like I'm too bitter and jaded to be a good boyfriend to her. And she's been a good friend to me so far. She has a sweet, playful vibe, and can act cheerful in the face of trouble without turning into Pollyanna. (Which makes it easy to tolerate her flaws, like overtexting and being all over the place with conversation topics.)

My reaction to her, after messaging on Tinder and going on our first date, was "non-threatening" and "lacking danger". (She also has a cute face and a decent body.) I didn't feel any threat from her, whether to my lifestyle or to my safety, physical or mental. By contrast, most women I meet rank somewhere on a threat scale I developed, and my last girlfriend ranked pretty high. It was nothing I could pinpoint, just an overall lack of danger I picked up from this new girl. And I do mean "lack of danger", rather than "safety"; there's a difference.

Perhaps this is what people meant when they called you "child woman". It sounds like you didn't like it, but I'm giving my own perspective.



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23 Dec 2016, 1:08 pm

naturalplastic wrote:
I dunno.

Must admit that I have never actually heard "child woman" uttered either. The folks around her probably mean that she lacks fashion sense, or is childlike in demeanor.

From my male pov its not obvious why she would wanna be a "bad ass B" (doesn't sound any more desireable to me than it does to Krafty).

But from imagining the female pov I think I get what she means.

Sounds like the OP yearns to be a threat to her competition (other women), but instead of viewing her as "bad ass" the competition just sees her as harmless, cute, and amusing (that would be maddening). So maybe you (the op) should go to the women's forum to get fashion advice.


The OP is not from an english-speaking country, so probably it was just a literal translation of an Indian term.



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23 Dec 2016, 1:14 pm

whirlingdervish wrote:
I think what i feel bad about is that i totally completely absolutely lack 'guile', which is a very useful seduction technique that i have studied other women employ. Usually if I've ever like someone, I'm the sort of person who would be quite naive about it. Id be more likely to just tell a person I'm attracted to them and bear my soul to them, pretty trustingly.. of course if I'm moderately sure they at least reasonably like me. Luckily i have a pretty good instinctive understanding of who to trust, so haven't been hurt too much, but i feel I'm missing out on that whole 'mysterious female aspect' of my gender.. I'm not sophisticated is what i think people say when they say child woman.. it kind of pisses me off, because i have borne and continue to bear responsibilities above and beyond my capacity sometimes.. I know other women who are more 'female' than me who actually get off responsibilities by playing 'vulnerable', something i hate myself for not being able to pull off, and as a result , have an easier life....So umm, yes, its about me being 'childlike' in terms of trustingness and openness as opposed to being sophisticated, which i personally find sexier? i mean, only paedophiles would find 'children' 'sexy' .. eeeesssh


It's all in the appearances; people judge by appearance.

You would need to look more Catwoman-like ie. high heels, striking red lipstick, bitchy stare of death, perfectly in shape....etc

But a sudden transformation may get undesirable reactions though, so you can start gradually.