Why am I a "creeper" for trying to meet young women?

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RetroGamer87
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24 Dec 2016, 4:51 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
In the 1990s, they had one sponsored by American Online (which is now AOL).

It was really a great chatroom. I met quite a few nice people there.
I didn't even know you were Jewish.
Sweetleaf wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Why do you listen to random people from the Internet? It seems to me like they are venting, somehow. I would bet these people are adopting Internet personas.
I was seeking advice yet what they said confused me. Perhaps your explanation is correct. Perhaps they were venting. I'm not sure if they were using "internet personas" or if they really talk like that in real life.
kraftiekortie wrote:
It's probably better, though, if you had more of a purpose when you go out than to meet a woman. And that the women know this.
I do have a purpose. Meeting women. Dating women. Finding a partner. That is the purpose.

You're suggesting I have some other purpose. It seems very strange that I should have one purpose yet say I have a different purpose. It seems dishonest. Lying about my purpose would make me even more creepy.

I find it strange that neurotypical society expects me to play these games. e.g. if I go somewhere to meet women, say I went there for another purpose. e.g. if I'm interested in a woman and then act like I'm not interested.
I think what was meant is if you have no interest in yoga, it probably isn't the best idea to join a yoga class to 'get a girlfriend' any interested women might feel kind of let down if they think they've found a guy who shares their interest in yoga that they could maybe date only later to find they care nothing for it and just figured there'd be women there. Perhaps it would be best to find an activity you are interested in where you could also potentially meet females, then you won't have to fake interest in the activity but could meet someone who shares a common interest with you.

It would be disrespectful to go to yoga if you just want to go through the motions to look like someone into yoga hoping to attract a mate.
I also would want to gain benefit from the yoga itself if it turns out to be beneficial for me. Especially if it helps treat my lack of physical fitnesses and/or my depression.

But yes, I can understand how hobbyists would be offended to hear I'm not practicing their hobby out of interest for the hobby itself.

The trouble is, again and again I hear people tell me if I want get a girlfriend, I have to join a club or a group but it seems those people are suggesting I join a club or a group mainly for the sake of meeting women, not out of interest for the club or group itself.


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RetroGamer87
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24 Dec 2016, 5:34 am

AngelRho wrote:
Retro: My working dating theory depends on building friendships, especially with MOOS.
What are MOOS?


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hurtloam
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24 Dec 2016, 5:57 am

I thought that pilates video was really funny btw.

When people are telling you to do something social to meet someone it isn't exactly that at face value. There is often a lot more meaning behind a person's statement than just the statement itself. Now the average person doesn't have the time or energy to explain exactly what they mean, which can be confusing. Don't focus too much on this statement. Turn your attention instead to finding a sociable activity that you will enjoy. Do it for yourself and in time you may meet a woman in the course of that activity (disclaimer, you also may not, it's not guaranteed, but if you don't, then at least you have an enjoyable hobby and maybe some new friends).



RetroGamer87
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24 Dec 2016, 6:51 am

hurtloam wrote:
I thought that pilates video was really funny btw.

When people are telling you to do something social to meet someone it isn't exactly that at face value. There is often a lot more meaning behind a person's statement than just the statement itself. Now the average person doesn't have the time or energy to explain exactly what they mean, which can be confusing. Don't focus too much on this statement. Turn your attention instead to finding a sociable activity that you will enjoy. Do it for yourself and in time you may meet a woman in the course of that activity (disclaimer, you also may not, it's not guaranteed, but if you don't, then at least you have an enjoyable hobby and maybe some new friends).
I don't need to tell you I take things literally. Sure I can/do have hobbies that I do for myself but I can only have a few of those at a time. I'm not an energetic person.

I enjoy my small kung group but the youngest woman there is in her forties. It's like that with a lot of the groups I join. There are either no eligible women or there are but they're not into me. I really don't want to join the type of group that attracts mostly guys or attracts mostly people outside of my age range.

I think I would enjoy yoga but then again I'd probably enjoy it for the wrong reasons. Especially if it's mostly girls there. Especially if the girls look like this.

Image


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hurtloam
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24 Dec 2016, 7:17 am

Ah see, now you know what I mean. That image illustrates it all.

I'll tell you something that helped my cousin meet people when she moved to a new area, but she's an outgoing NT, so this may not be suitable. She joined Tinder and used the social part of the service. It worked for her and she went out on interesting trips and had fun and met people she wouldn't have met otherwise. Not sure that's the kind of thing us aspies would enjoy, but I think that's what other youngish folks are doing. Hanging out in more "fun" places than the kinds of places we find fun. Again Catch 22.



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24 Dec 2016, 7:35 am

Yes I have a female Friend trying to.make new friends from to Tinder.

Social part?,what social part?

And fun places?

Wtf is a fun place supposed to be?



RetroGamer87
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24 Dec 2016, 7:50 am

Outrider wrote:
Yes I have a female Friend trying to.make new friends from to Tinder.

Social part?,what social part?
Oh, there's a social part of Tinder. Just like how OKCupid has a social part. The social part is where girls just want to chat and then act offended when you mention going out how with them.

How dare I bring up dating on a dating app!
/sarcasm

They act like it's a chatting app or a making friends app.

Some of them can be pretty snobby about it too. See here and here.


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RetroGamer87
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24 Dec 2016, 7:57 am

hurtloam wrote:
Ah see, now you know what I mean. That image illustrates it all.
Yeah, that's why I'd like to meet a girl at yoga or dancing. I'm also thinking about taking up paddle boarding for the same reason.

I'd love to meet girls at yoga because yoga has girls who look like this

Image
Image
Image
Image
Image




Whereas most of the girls I've dated from OKcupid look like this

Image


Sorry if I sound shallow but I'm really not attracted to that type of girl.

I want a girl who can walk with me along the beach or through the botanic gardens without suffering joint pains.

That's why I want to meet girls at some sort of physical group activity such as yoga or dancing or paddleboarding.


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Jono
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24 Dec 2016, 8:33 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
I've had women say they don't want to meet me because they think it's unsafe. If they say that to all their online suitors they'll never meet anyone so why are they on a dating site?


I can help with this. I don't know if you've read any of my threads here when I was trying out on-line dating on OKCupid. What you have to do to make her feel safe is always meet in a public place like a coffee shop or a place where you get lunch, and then always make arrangements so that you both have your own way back home and never rely on a date for a lift. The idea is that if you meet somewhere public then nothing can really happen to her without other people noticing, so it's safer. If she tells you that she feels unsafe meeting then just reply saying that you'll meet in a mall or coffee shop or simply tell her that she choose where to meet up, so there's nothing to worry about.

I've managed to organise a few dates by doing that and even made some friends with some women that I met on OKCupid.



AngelRho
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24 Dec 2016, 9:02 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
AngelRho wrote:
Retro: My working dating theory depends on building friendships, especially with MOOS.
What are MOOS?

Member(s)
Of the
Opposite
Sex



hurtloam
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24 Dec 2016, 10:44 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Outrider wrote:
Yes I have a female Friend trying to.make new friends from to Tinder.

Social part?,what social part?
Oh, there's a social part of Tinder. Just like how OKCupid has a social part. The social part is where girls just want to chat and then act offended when you mention going out how with them.

How dare I bring up dating on a dating app!
/sarcasm

They act like it's a chatting app or a making friends app.

Some of them can be pretty snobby about it too. See here and here.


Yeah my family had a discuss about this. Why was she using tinder if not for dating? But it does have a group hangout feature.

Dunno about other sites, but you're being b&w again. Just because it started as a dating site/app doesn't mean that it stays that way. Websites and apps evolve and can offer other features

Those photos are what stock photo models look like. All types of women go to yoga.



Freak-Z
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24 Dec 2016, 12:51 pm

Double standards.



RetroGamer87
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24 Dec 2016, 5:10 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Those photos are what stock photo models look like. All types of women go to yoga.
How can I join the club for stock photo models? :lol:


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The_Face_of_Boo
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24 Dec 2016, 5:21 pm

The girls of the yoga and oriental belly dancing classes in my gym (they are visibile because sometimes they do classes in the glass room next to the cardio room).

They aren't all models but none is overweight; they all look fit.

Now imagine a guy joining a belly dance class....



RetroGamer87
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24 Dec 2016, 10:43 pm

I must join one of these classes.

Are there less fat people in Lebanon compared to western countries?


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The_Face_of_Boo
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25 Dec 2016, 5:02 am

^ It is filtered due to self-consciousness I guess ; I don't think most overweight girls would feel comfortable to join such classes, it is too exposing for any extra weight; especially if the class is dominated by fit regular attendees.

In regular aerobic classes you find all shapes.